7 thoughts on “5 Ways Pathologically Envious Narcissists Undermine Your Success

  • August 14, 2017 at 4:55 pm

    Excellent article explaining how those with NPD really are.
    Not only can I say “Yes, that happened”, but I can remember so many times and events that these things happened at, as well as that silent smirk on his face, proud of himself each time he was successful. Been divorced 4 years yesterday, with separation nearly 6 years. Thank God, we didn’t have kids together. Was both our second marriage of 18 years. Don’t know how I managed, am financially ruined, been personally and publicly smeared and humiliated along with losing MY friends and close relatives, to his over the top grandiose lies. It’s as if it were yesterday it’s so fresh in my mind.
    He still tries to get a reaction or anything out of me, through the grapevine or driving by. I’ve left all social media and privacy is my one main concern along with still putting my life back together much stronger. Thank you for a wonderfully accurate article, if no one else ever validates what I’ve gone through, I do know there are so many others like me. For that I’m horribly sorry, but also glad there is some comfort knowing you’re not alone.

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    • August 16, 2017 at 2:33 pm

      Hello Beenthere,
      I too have been in a marriage of deception for almost 25 years. I understand totally what your life was like and I am so sorry for the pain he caused in your life. I was wondering how you survived the smear campaign and ripping apart of your life when you decided to leave him? I am to the point of realizing that I need to divorce this abuser husband of mine, but part of what stops me is dreading the smearing as I unfortunatley have done some things Im not proud of, playing right into hands. I beleive he cannot be an adult and simply say we have grown apart and decided to divorce, but that he has to make me the bad guy and perpetuate his victim hood even more. The stupid things were my feebile attempt to get back at him for the abuse, stupidly not realizing it was exactly what he wanted. How have you been able to cope? How did you find a lawyer that understands what you have gone through and how he is?? It’s so sad that we have to find out how truly evil the person we once loved can be to us. thanks

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    • August 16, 2017 at 8:31 pm

      Agreed this article is right on the money. Well written and thank you.

      BeenThere325 those who based their judgement of you solely on the narcissists lies were NOT true friends. Be happy they were removed from your life.

      I dont base my judgement of someone on someone elses stories. I base my judgement on their actions toward me and what I physically see/hear them doing to others.

      My best friends wife can tell me everything she wants about him however I will have the respect and the heart to ask him personally about these accusations while also basing my opinions on his behaviors in front of my face.

      I learned this long ago in high school. There are some lessons that are truly timeless.

      Those who stuck around despite his false accusations. Those who came to you personally asking functional and sincere questions concerning his accusations. Then listened to what you had to say. THOSE are your true friends.

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  • August 16, 2017 at 6:53 pm

    Your ability to concisely articulate the narcissist’s behavior and the consequential damage done to their targets gave me clarification as I reflected on my most recent experience. The damage they cause to the unsuspecting can’t be over-stated.

    Having been raised by narcissistic parents left me vulnerable to numerous disordered individuals throughout my life. I see the correlation between my environment, poor self-image or lack of one and why establishing boundaries has been so difficult. Life can be one exhausting and painful experience after another until you’re able to identify the how and why you struggle with your self-worth. Even then, it’s challenging at times.

    I believe these empty souls select targets who are highly empathetic; as empathy is perceived as weakness. It’s ironic that empathy is the fundamental character trait that they lack, what they seek to target and what makes the rest of us most human. In retrospect, only the narcissist has called me out for being too sensitive. What I previously saw as a curse is a blessing in disguise. I can’t imagine the void the narcissist must feel that fuels their contempt.

    Thank you very much for the many people you help by taking the time to write about a topic that is so relevant, prevalent and still misunderstood.

    Victoria

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  • October 2, 2017 at 5:43 am

    Shahida,

    Thank you so much for this article. As one who had to grow up with a Narc parent, emotional,physical,financial, and spiritual abuse, this article was truly empowering to me. It shed light on the fact that Narcs fear the GIFTs that empaths or their vctims have within them, and will try to get them to hide or sabotage their success for fear of more Narc abuse/ostracism. Your book on Becoming the Narcissits worst nightmare, YouTube videos,and articles like these have been instrumental in helping to emancipate people from the slavery of Narcissistic thinking. May you continue to be blessed and successful in your future endeavorsn as you constantly assist us to “free our minds”. You rock!

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  • October 9, 2018 at 11:16 am

    I am the daughter of an envious narc. mother. She is now in her 80’s and STILL in competition with her daughters – and every other female she has ever come into contact with. She is a very vain woman, and once was beautiful – but now she is old. On one of our bi-monthly catch-ups (always horrendous for me), just as we sat down for a coffee she says “I’ve bought some new glasses” and pops them on and studies me for a minute. Then she laughed and said “Ooh I can see all of your wrinkles now!” (I am 30 years younger than she)………..now , this is funny – and I chose to laugh about it – but the truth is much sadder. This, from a woman who calls herself ‘mother’ has never once given me a compliment, never said I look nice, or pretty, or any of the normal things that mums’ say to their daughters As a girl I endured years of forced hair cutting (she did it – and is not a hairdresser) and was not allowed to grow my hair. Unlike golden girl who had hair past her shoulders. I was denied age appropriate clothing, a bra, sanitary protection, dentist appointments, medical care (even when seriously needed) Me being ill was an inconvenience to her. Denied friends, a social life, an education fitting for someone who was marked by her teachers as ‘gifted’ at age 12 – (I will never forget that woman’s face when my headmistress told her this…………all the milk turned sour in a 20 mile radius from that office) She wanted me to look ugly, be lonely, never fulfil my potential…………..when I was 50 I realised that this is EVIL made flesh. I could go on and on relating stories of my mother’s pathological envy – but what must be realised is that these people are dangerous – they are ‘murdering’ us in every way apart from ACTUAL homicide. After nearly two years no contact – I have learnt of all the other ways my mother has tried to ‘bring me down’ from other people. So sad, so painful – so crushing to the spirit. I now have nothing to do with the woman.

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    • January 30, 2019 at 9:35 pm

      I,m older than you getting ready to “celebrate” the big 60. My mother is now gone since 2017 , but I still am on earth with my MN Sister … She.along with my mother , who always ..from the time I can remember had very serious mental/character issues …targeted me for some vulgar obscene..ridiculous forms of abusive mentally emotionally spiritually and .eventually …ending in a grand finnaly… physical …not pretty (40+ yr old sibling abuse recruited family mobbing) over a span of 20 years. Too lengthy too go into but let’s just say .. It’s hell l to be me. LOL I learned way too late , it’s not me it’s them it’s her leading the pack ..it’s ignorance , it’s envy , it’s jealousy , it’s hatred , it’s toxic , it’s them …it’s not me . Stop Playing their Game ..you will never win and it’s OK it’s not a game to play . No one can win because it’s a game started in ignorance and it ends in ignorance , especially theirs bits also ours … We just wanted Love ..They just wanted Blood. Don’t waste your emotions time life energy. I tell the truth …trust me

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