3 thoughts on “Daddy Issues: How Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers Can Cope (Part 1)

  • May 28, 2017 at 8:02 am

    Excellent article.Thankyou.

    Reply
  • August 8, 2017 at 5:51 am

    Thank you Shahida.This article helped a lot.

    Reply
  • May 17, 2019 at 11:32 pm

    This is an excellent article.

    Though my mother was a narcissist and did a lot of damage that has taken me years to overcome, after she died (2007) it was not difficult to forgive her completely. I realized that in spite of her narcissism and subsequent abuse, she too had been abused so didn’t have a strong frame of reference in place from her own parents. I really loved her and miss her still. Mother’s Day is always difficult and there are times I feel lost without her. And I’m 61 years old now!

    My father, who is 88 going on 4, is a different story. I have come to the realization that not only is he a pathological narcissist, but he has also, over the past 7 years or so, sold out. He sold his soul to the devil, literally, and the situation gets uglier all the time. The last time I saw him, about a year ago, though he has always been a handsome man, he looks like a fiend.

    It has reached the point that I can no longer bear the thought of having to look at him again. I am certain, in all sincerity, that the man needs an exorcist.

    From the time I was really still a baby, no more than two and a half years old, maybe three at the most, he would grab me by the arm and hold me like a piñata and beat the stuffing out of me. I remember my older sister standing in the corner watching, while my mother stood there and screamed, “Stop, stop, stop, you’re going to kill her.” The physical beatings never stopped, not until I left home when I was 20. The moral, verbal, psychological, financial, emotional, spiritual abuses continue to this day. He has no conscience whatsoever. As one of the saints once said, to paraphrase, there is no greater punishment than when God stops stirring the conscience.

    With longevity in his family — his mother lived to the ripe age of 105, his father 93, he could be around for another 10 or 15 years. I live about 45 minutes away from him now. Though I love my house, I am planning a move at least 6- or 700 miles away.

    I am working on forgiving him but that does not mean that I need to see him again. Though there are things still at his house that are mine, of sentimental value, and some jewelry of my mother’s I would love to have, and some of her beautiful needlework, it would be impossible to extract any of this from him because his greed has gotten the best of him. He sits on a sizeable amount of money, some of it he embezzled from both my mother’s and his own mother’s estate, including some of my inheritance that he spent without my consent.

    I often think of the wonderful biblical parable, “Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow, they toil not, neither do they spin.” – Matthew vi: 28. That means, to me, not to allow myself to take any more of his, or anyone else’s abuse to heart any longer. Their abuse has nothing to do with me. These people are certifiably crazy, yet our so-called culture has not yet recognized narcissism as a form of dementia. Surely it is the onset of dementia. The damaging impact these people have on the lives of their victims is criminal.

    There is something radically wrong with a person who has no conscience. I can not help but wonder if they really are human.

    Reply
 

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