16 thoughts on “3 Ways The Coronavirus Pandemic Is Affecting Trauma Survivors and Victims of Narcissists (And How You Can Cope)

  • March 19, 2020 at 12:06 pm

    This is the very first helpful comment I have read since the outbreak. It clearly describes the way I feel. I live in Germany and we are about to get the notice to stay indoors for the next 14 days. The pressure has been building up and I see already the changes in my partner. Your article gives me however confidence! Thank you!

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    • June 19, 2020 at 12:28 am

      dear Sabina, wishing you well, I have been the victim of a Narcissist for more than 25 years, but over the last 13- 15 years he became kinder and wiser, sometimes wonderful, dear God and Holy Souls helped in this, though sometimes really evil and have lost Peace and Joy with our Children, our youngest Son now lives far away in a village for Special People and missing him so much, last was with him on Mothering Sunday, but he Alex is in a Good Place and have had some times in Peace with my Older Sons and sometimes Friendship with their Father, my late mother was a narcissist and the Police helped me escape another, I really wish you well, I hope that the last months have been Ok for you, praying for you, by the way I am half German yet have not been back to Germany for years, did not have the money and situations, would have love to have gone to lovely places in Bavaria – where my ancestors come from – with Alex, and to Ireland, if only, again wishing you and all Good Souls well

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    • August 15, 2020 at 9:07 am

      I am so glad it was helpful Sabina! Take care and hope you are doing well during these times.

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    • August 15, 2020 at 10:51 am

      dear Sabina, I wish you so much well, praying for you in Germany and People in your situations, I also am a victim of Narcissist Abuse – so many sad and horrible memories and am suffering from PTSD after because of being violently attacked when i was 19 trying to get away from my late narcissist mother and her horrible husband; and then things that happened when i was the girlfriend, then wife, of the man who – though sometimes he has been good and kind – and hpe and pray more goodness grows in his soul – the man who pressurized me twice into marrying him – was horrible and violent and cruel in different ways, alieanated my older sons from me, and under Lockdown in England it has got worse, though sometimes have had Peace, after making sure that my youngest Son who is very wonderful and very autistic was happy and having a good life in the village for people with special needs which i will call the ‘aurora village’ i planned to leave my husband since november 2018 to february 2019 and Women’s Aid, Cambridgeshire Council, Medway Kent Council and untrue friends, all in England, did not help me, and in desperation i stayed with someone who is a ‘Christian politician In Parkwood, Kent, England’ (really evil man who makes out he is Christian and is an evil nutcase behind closed doors) who i had hoped would be a spiritual friend for life, yet picking up the bad vibes from him and he did not really listen and care about my situations and he was very controlling and wanted to know what i was doing online and wanted to be involved with revolting perversions ungodly behaviour with me and i was already searching desperately for a place in a women’s refuge online to no avail the Medway Kent Police helped me escape yet the only place I have to live is with the husband i was trying to get away from – after more than 25 years of having endured domestic violence, physical, controlling behaviour, emotional, being pushed into being part of evil extremist organisations I no longer agreed with { having learnt more how evil and wrong all this was, then being accused of being unfaithful to my own ethnic group and our family just because i cared more about human and animal rights and my older Sons being more alienated against me} and horrible evil unwise unjust rules [which have been eased up – have had more freedom since 2005 thank goodness, thank God} and many threats and different unkind criminal behaviour which my husband laters denies and makes me out to be the wrong one, well during Lockdown have experienced again not being safe and in peace, some good friends online and dear old wonderful Holy God, had support and love and prayers from different Good Souls, and have nowhere else i can go, and the few family members i have left [lost contact with most of my german family members and most english ones, and some alieanted against me, as to my hearbreak my oldest Sons have been alieanted against me, though sometimes more peace with my younger older Son and also lost contact with all old friends from the past because of and after this marriage i never wanted from the beginning, but only married my husband because he wanted someone to be with him while he was going to different trials, and free legal advice and help – both my younger older son and myself alot have been used like unpaid servants by his father my husband for legal, technological, financial advice and jobs in the house and then called lazy by my husband and our oldest son who seem to think that my younger older son and myself were put on the earth to be their unpaid servants instead of living our own hopes and dreams, and make is harder to find work and have the money to get away, am unemployed and in debt, while my husband had benefits and pay going into his and our joint accounts – yet had control over all the money over many years and had to beg and ask for other things, finally had received benefits for myself and my youngest Son and am able to keep money aside for him [Alex is handicapped and will need it as he gets older and myself] without my husband trying to take it away, thank goodness, anyway, am living with this man because nowhere else to live, have endured more terrible arguments, though sometimes thank God thank goodness there has been peace, am trying to do things in peace i have waited years to do and missing my youngest son Alex who is very wonderful and very autistic with whom i cannot meet for the time being, so much on my mind, and wishing you and all other victims of narcissist abuse around the whole world so very much well, aswell as about many other things in the world, pray for all of us………….love from gabrielle

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  • March 19, 2020 at 10:25 pm

    Brilliant and thank you! My first thoughts were “ I really need to self-isolate after doing so for 10 years”. ?

    Great clarification and confirmation of those feelings,

    Your work is amazing,

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    • August 15, 2020 at 9:06 am

      Thank you so much, Kym! Appreciate your kind words and glad this was validating to you!

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  • March 20, 2020 at 4:59 am

    I had gone low contact with my narcissistic mother. However she’s become quite frantic and needier than ever since she’s got underlying respiratory issues and is high risk. I’ve noticed my stress level has risen exponentially already and in the US we’re only a week into this virus taking hold and spreading. It occurred to me that narcissistic people would ‘flare up’ so to speak, and it’s human nature to want to help each other out in this situation were all facing. I can say the boundaries are going to get skewed and in my case it’s going to need resetting and for me to adjust. Thank you for these types of articles and please keep the helpful advice coming!!

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    • March 21, 2020 at 6:48 am

      The epidemic has blurred healthy boundaries for me, also. My narcissistic ex-husband has become extremely needy, and as we have a daughter with special needs no-contact isn’t an option for me. I’m staying highly aware of how he’s playing this situation for his benefit at my expense and I’ll need to re-correct when the epidemic is over.

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  • March 21, 2020 at 2:42 pm

    Glad to see you talk about it. I’m strong enough and was expecting the narcissist to come ‘fishing’ again. But it feels so good to hear you acknowledge that yes, this is a thing. Thank you so much, and I wish you and yours good health and a safe time in these trying circumstances <3

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  • March 24, 2020 at 1:12 pm

    Yes! All 3! During this pandemic I have felt somewhat calm. I think its because I am not dealing with visitations with the kids and him now and like you wrote….we are prepared emotionally.
    And…the thing that gets me is he wants to talk to the kids over the phone e for the first time in 7 years!!!! So, yes, it must be the attention and lack of supply out there. All 3 yes! Tha k you for writing this.

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  • March 29, 2020 at 12:58 pm

    I am currently living with a very abusive narcissist. I was planning to move to another state just prior to the Covid19 lockdown; in fact all my belongings are boxed up, ready to go.
    My housemate refuses to wash his hands, bathe, or even stay home so I am worried about staying physically healthy. I don’t leave my bedroom and have been in here for about 2 weeks. He still pokes his head in the door occasionally to make abusive comments.

    I’m very isolated, have no family and my friends are out of state and have busy lives. I suffer from depression and panic attacks. I feel like I can’t go on. Please help

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  • April 6, 2020 at 4:00 pm

    I have CPTSD and treatment-resistant depression. When trump declared for the Presidency, my CPTSD symptoms sky-rocketed. I recognized him immediately as a predatory narcissist. My life has been much more difficult since then, and it has been a constant struggle to survive.

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  • April 15, 2020 at 5:52 am

    Please help. My husband is a doctor and extremely abusive. He is a “hero” right now and he feels even more entitled to hurt me as he knows no one will believe me. I am in a foreign country alone and he never declared me as his wife so I have no residency or health insurance. I am losing hope and I have no one to help me. Every friend or family member has fallen for his smear campaign or benefited from his strategic acts of generosity (usually free medical consultations) and has cut me off. Help. I dont think I am going to make it….

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  • April 19, 2020 at 10:34 am

    Having experienced the adult world as a scary place for nearly a decade, I’ve sort of built my life around a situation like this – and now it’s real! I’ve been practicing wanting to cuddle but it not feeling safe, or being anxious that I might lose my job. I’m pretty good at this “making the best of times like this” stuff. I didn’t really have another choice, but now the entire world has changed to fit the way my nervous system sees it.

    I’d like to welcome all the new members to the can’t-get-close-to-people club. Here is your crash course on “a bunch of quotes about trauma that I found on instagram over the years” and also a free homemade hand lotion that I made during all this free time I would normally have spent dealing with the shame of not being able to move forward in my life.

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  • May 6, 2020 at 1:17 pm

    I’ve been going through a very traumatic battle with family court that has been going on for 2 1/2,years. My 3 year old daughter was taken away from me and given custody to a non responsive father who had no part of his daughters life for 3 years. I was living in Upstate NY and my daughter was sent to Florida away from me and her sister. This child has been living with a grandmother that is narcissistic. She has completely taken over raising my daughter and does not want me and her sister part of her life. I moved to Florida with my other daughter to be closer To her. I have limited court ordered visitation but have been denied access to her with the excuse of the corona virus. Since the courts are closed this grandma thinks she can make up her own rules. The corrupt court system has taken this woman’s word as truth and has empowered her to harass and bully me. The sick thing is that she doesn’t have custody, her son does. He lives there with them but I’m not allowed to communicate with him without his mother being involved. I’ve been on anti depressants thru this, but through a doctor in Buffalo. No one in Florida will give me a script unless it comes from a psychiatrist ( a 6 month wait to see one). I was finally approved for Medicaid , but no psychiatrist accepts it. There is so much more to this story but I really need to be on my meds to get me through this awful time. I need help but no one will help. Do you have any suggestions please?

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  • May 12, 2020 at 2:33 am

    Thank you for writing this article – it will help a lot of people. Right now I feel like I am living in a surreal world where the rules of lockdown and quarantine don’t seem to apply to the narcissist in my life. Shockingly he has been able to surround himself with people just like him – people who don’t care about the safety of others and are willing defy the rules. So far he’s found like-mined people to give him haircuts, back massages, meet with him one on one so he can complete his “important” projects, and he’s even found people who will repair things for him as he stands face to face with them and instructs them on what to do. He refuses masks, doesn’t abide by social distancing, and he’s not staying home. On the weekends he’s out and about the entire day like he was before the pandemic. Of course I worry about the risk he’s posing to my son and myself. Now he’s found a like-minded friend that he invites into our home during lockdown. Witnessing this is very disturbing and begging, pleading, and explaining doesn’t work at all. The rules simply don’t apply to him. He’s entitled and has found people to go along with him and give him whatever he wants.

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