6 thoughts on “3 Ways Malignant Narcissists Destructively Condition You to Self-Sabotage

  • March 2, 2020 at 5:32 pm

    I know a few narcissistic people in fact a whole family. Fortunately I have a very strong personality and never let them get to me.
    I want to thank you for writing books on this subject. I believe that your words will help so many people in their journey dealing with negative emotions, thoughts and feelings. I wish you well.

  • March 3, 2020 at 1:55 am

    I’ve been in the “impossible space” for 5 years now. Literally everything i have done since 2015 has been to try to get whatever or whoever is stalking & isolating and apparently a ringleader of a lot of people, to stop. Like a horse being led along by a carrot on a stick and I think they want me to snap and kill myself publicly or kill someone else, but neither is ever going to happen so I just remain stuck in limbo trying to find a way out of what they described, through a flying monkey, as a round room with no exit. Unimaginably sick & worse because my family is abusive and toxic so they…honestly it seems almost as if they’re possessed at times.

    • March 13, 2020 at 4:57 pm

      Sheila .. I feel for you .. I’ve been there .. only been out for 4 years .. an only this past year have I gained some ground in recovery and its augsilerating.. all I can is get out asap. Make a plan and keep it in the forefront.. detach.. and keep working on your plan .. don’t waste an other minute year decade. The damage to self is unreal .

  • March 4, 2020 at 9:58 am

    Shahida, in your bio at the end it says you authored three books but it doesn’t give the title of the one I read “Healing the Adult Children of Narcissists”….which is a LIFE CHANGING book, And one of my very favorites. In fact, if I had to recommend only ONE book to a sufferer, that would be it. Thank you so much for your hard work and empowering words. You’re a gift to us all

  • March 4, 2020 at 11:20 am

    I married a “fragile” narcissist 22 years ago/(together for 28 yrs & still trying to “escape.”) I just found some old video of our honeymoon that I haven’t seen since the “honeymoon from hell.” It’s astounding to watch myself getting verbally & emotionally insulted & beaten down on what was supposed to be one of the happiest memories of our marriage. The look of pain, confusion & humiliation on my face after he insults me & puts me down is utterly heartbreaking. I wish I could donate this video to you as a “public service announcement” to warn those who are getting/will be getting victimized by abusers/narcissists. Thank you for educating the world about these emotional anarchists who abuse relentlessly.

  • March 26, 2020 at 2:20 pm

    Pretty much take that article, scratch out narcissist and insert insecure or controlling and everything still falls into place. Most of this blog post is applicable and beneficial to other types of abusive behavior and relationships with unsafe partners.

    I’m a former 5-star recruited NCAA Div-1 Offensive Linemen, earning a National Championship in the 90s, 2-time Academic All-America recognized (computer science), and an undrafted NFL free agent signed and released during my first season due to injury, with over 14 surgeries within 20 years – my body finally feels great. I was a 12-year CEO of a publicly-traded tech company and now on its board of directors. In addition, I co-founded and help run a charity and music education program for special-needs children and work with several Children’s Hospitals in the Mid West.

    Given all that, I was led to question all of those accomplishments and believe I was a loser by my abusive ex-wife, who wasn’t a narcissist, just insecure and controlling. When it is someone you love constantly reinforcing what a loser you are, it doesn’t matter what your accomplishments are and you begin to believe that person. Your fight is then against clinical gaslighting, which is the shittiest place for ones mind to be; questioning reality and your own sanity. It’s seriously scary where your mind goes with gaslighting. Being “driven crazy” now has actual meaning to me.

    I hate to think what more I could’ve accomplished had I recognized the abuse and then fought through the stigma my friends and family laid on me, the jokes, the “you’re a man, you can’t be abused”, etc: being a big, strong male, we’re expected to brush off being tortured psychologically, physically, and sexually by a female, especially one 3 times smaller than oneself. I would’ve been a 20-year CEO of the company had I not lost all perspective of myself and engaged in self-sabotaging behavior out of pure desperation.

    Male or female: if you think you might be getting abused by your partner, YOU ARE and need to seek out help. It’s not just words: the longer you wait, the worse the abuse and your wellbeing will get, it becomes exponential every day it continues.

    My biggest mistake? Telling a police officer that I didn’t want to press charges when he asked me.


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