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Archives for Midlife


By Choosing Not To Have Children, I _____

Would raising children make the best use of what you bring to the world, or would not having kids do that? – Carolyn Hax

As Oprah used to say, frequently, raising kids is the hardest job in the world. And I don’t argue with that. (I wouldn’t dare.)

But choosing not to have kids has challenges of a different kind--not the least of which is censure from a segment of society that assumes you must be selfish,...
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Taking Comfort Wherever You Find It

As long as you derive inner help and comfort from anything, keep it.

--Mahatma Gandhi

The good life is just the process of figuring out what brings you inner help and comfort, and living your life around those things, places, people, activities, etc.

Research finds that people get happier as we get older. Very likely this is because over time, we figure out what brings us inner help and comfort and stick with those things.

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Don’t Look Back: The Corrosive Power of Regret

"I see it all perfectly; there are two possible situations - one can either do this or that. My honest opinion and my friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it - you will regret both." --Soren Kierkegaard

A friend was struggling with regret. I have strong feelings about regret, but found myself tongue-tied. I couldn't find the words to express my distaste.

I don’t do regret.

When I was about 16,...
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