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Are You Ashamed to Be Seen With Him in Public?

My last column was 6 Easy Things to Do, to Make Your Life 5% Better. They work.

In July, even if we’re stuck at work or at home, we remember past summers, and going someplace warm with a lot of water, possibly salt. Summer at the seashore. So here’s your cartoon for that.

Does your Significant Other do well in social situations, or does he have a meltdown in public? Could his grooming be improved? Do you not want to take him out in the real world?

I’m reminded of this again while rewatching old episodes of The Office. Michael embarrasses EVERYONE in public!

girls at the beachGood Therapy.org says Shame is the silent killer in relationships – that we’re ashamed to be ashamed.

Dr. Grohol published quiz, to see if you have a Love, Lust or Loser relationship. There are several questions there about how your other interacts with someone in public. How does he interact with friends and family?

Oh, good. The Wall Street Journal decided to weigh in on relationships again. I love it when they analyze feelings with their own stern rules and judgments. (They assume everyone has a “spouse.”)

Why do we often find a spouse’s faux pas so much more embarrassing than our own? Spouses represent one another. Doesn’t it say something about you if the person you chose to spend your life with tells insensitive jokes or dances with a lamp shade on his head? You may feel torn between your spouse and the people watching the behavior. And there’s the lack of control: “It’s the uncertainty that gets us—how bad is this going to get?” Dr. Leary says.

Assume Love says you can’t feel ashamed and respected at the same time:

Respect is the very foundation of a loving relationship for most men. It’s not possible to feel ashamed and respected at the same time.

Does that extrapolate to mean that if you feel ashamed to have chosen a guy, you don’t respect him?

One poor woman married a man, knowing she didn’t love him, and shouldn’t have. Her best friend offered her a getaway car at the wedding, in case she needed it. 🙂 She didn’t that day, but she got away a short time later. No one felt good about that.

I’ve made my share of bad choices with men, and sometimes felt ashamed of my boyfriend: he wasn’t cute enough, or smart enough, etc. Maybe the next bad choice will just be a mistake, and not an occasion for shame.

Of course, in this cartoon, the girl might just be annoyed at her friend, and not ashamed of her snowman man at all. But I think I might cover him up a little, if it was me.

And here’s another summer cartoon, but not THIS summer.

If you want more cartoons, check out my first book (chocolate) and my second book (love, sweet love). And Like my Facebook page to get notified of new cartoons. All rights reserved, and content including cartoon is ©Donna Barstow 2018. Thanks!

Are You Ashamed to Be Seen With Him in Public?

Donna Barstow

Cartoonist for LA Times, Parade, WSJ, Glamour, PsychCentral, Barron's, Weight Watchers, and textbooks & Chicken Soup books. Author and editor of 2 cartoon books and a Barnes & Noble calendar.

I both write and draw all my cartoons. You are warmly invited to share the link to this cartoon. The full-size cartoons are all copyrighted, so please email me at pen.drawing AT g mail (squish it) for rates for use in textbooks, prints, presentations, publications, or websites. Email me AT pen.drawing @ gmail. com. (Squish the address.)


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APA Reference
, . (2018). Are You Ashamed to Be Seen With Him in Public?. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 19, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/quick-fix/2018/07/are-you-ashamed-to-be-seen-with-him-in-public/

 

Last updated: 15 Jul 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 15 Jul 2018
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.