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How to Ask for Money (or Love)

My last cartoon was about how to hire a witch. From this, we jump to another type of person.

Definition of a sycophant:

noun: sycophant; plural noun: sycophants
  1. a person who acts obsequiously toward someone important in order to gain advantage.
    yes-man, bootlicker, brown-noser, toady, lickspittle, flatterer, flunky, lackey, spanieldoormat, etc.

Where I grew up, the worst thing you could call someone was fake. Then I moved to Hollywood. Not only were appearances everything, everyone was looking for their big break, so they were super nice. It was hard to know who to trust!

But you can’t do everything yourself, and sometimes you have to ask others for help. A raise, a loan, the rent, a date, more sex…etc.

How can you ask someone for something, and not feel like one of those words above?

If you like the indirect route, you’ll like these directions on how to ask for something through email, from 99u. It’s mostly about work, though, or contacting strangers.

  • If you are asking someone to take the time to answer you, it should be very clear what you are asking for. Look at your email and ask yourself: “Can the recipient say ‘Yes’ without further discussion?”
  • People are often shy about including deadlines in emails, especially when cold-emailing…In fact, most busy people like them.
  • Make it short! Is it still concise on an iPhone?

Is money on your mind? Like, every day? Especially the last day of the month? I know that one! Business Insider tackles this.

Borrowing from family or friends can help you get out of a temporary, difficult financial situation. Asking for help requires some level of humility and willingness to be open and honest about your financial condition, and that can be difficult when personal finance is still a topic that most people avoid. When you take a personal relationship and turn it into a business relationship, there is a significant risk that your personal relationship will be destroyed. If you cherish your personal relationships, you should try to avoid borrowing money completely. Even if you pay the loan back in full and on time, it can change the nature of your relationship forever.

He has some good suggestions: Think about it as a temporary stopgap, and pay the lender interest. And return the favor, or pay it forward. In general, it seems like family members could deal with this much better than friends. What do you think?

I’ve written before about asking for more sex.  And this is a favorite cartoon about getting ready to say yes. And, how do you make someone do what you want them to? 🙂

So what’s a good way to ask someone to love you?

Wikihow completely sidesteps this problem, by

  1. Presenting a big picture of a man spraying deodorant on, and then
  2. Turning the question around on you, by saying: Before you put in all the energy to get someone to love you, make sure that you really like that person [first].

Doesn’t that sound like a therapist to you? Oh, Wikihow, never change.

This quote by Mandy Hale, author of The Single Woman: Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass, is pretty astute, however:

You cannot ask someone to like you or love you more than you like or love yourself. YOU have to set the standard.

Medium has a lot of great ideas on how to ask for love or anything else.

She says to make sure you’re not coming “from a place of loneliness, desperation, or need.” Be direct, and specific. (I would like you to hold my hand when we’re out on a date.) Be vulnerable. (I need to feel closer to you.) We all respond to that.

Next up: How to ask Santa for gold bullion.

Check out my first book (chocolate) and my second book (love, sweet love). And Like my Facebook page to get notified of new cartoons.

Feel free to share this anywhere but Pinterest and Instagram. All rights reserved, and content including cartoon is ©Donna Barstow 2017. Contact me for fees and rights if you want to use any of my cartoons in your next project. Thanks!

How to Ask for Money (or Love)

Donna Barstow

Cartoonist for LA Times, Parade, WSJ, Glamour, PsychCentral, Barron's, Weight Watchers, and textbooks & Chicken Soup books. Author and editor of 2 cartoon books and a Barnes & Noble calendar.

I both write and draw all my cartoons. You are warmly invited to share the link to this cartoon. The full-size cartoons are all copyrighted, so please email me at pen.drawing AT g mail (squish it) for rates for use in textbooks, prints, presentations, publications, or websites. Email me AT pen.drawing @ gmail. com. (Squish the address.)

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APA Reference
, . (2017). How to Ask for Money (or Love). Psych Central. Retrieved on February 26, 2020, from


Last updated: 3 Dec 2017
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