Is he a bad kisser! Ugh. But here’s what to show him to improve his technique! How to Jumpstart a Bad Kisser.
But we’re all adults, right? What about going all the way? You know the statistics: that couples make love about 2 times a week.
That’s not the part that scares me, however, but rather this one: How often do couples fight?
The woman in this cartoon looks annoyed, to say the least, and the man is a little annoying (and a bit of a wimp.) He’s completely ignoring the problem…and is there anything more aggravating than someone saying no? 🙂
Uh oh, could be trouble there. Daily Mail suggests, based on one study, that couples argue 7 times a day. Reasons for fights ranged from snoring, driving too fast (I’ve had both of them!) and not saying I love you enough. (well, yeah, that one, too.) Somehow I missed this next one, but now I’ll watch out for it: Walking past things that need to go upstairs. That’s a doozy.
Here’s a thread on Quora where a man said that he and his girlfriend argued every single day. He asked whether it was a good idea for them to move in together. 🙂
There was a thoughtful reply that we could all learn from:
The natural progression of a fight should go like this
- Heated discussion
- Walk away
- Think about why you are really angry, and whether you are really angry at your partner.
- Men – Xbox, punching bag, lethal weapon movie 6a. Women – whatever women do to relax, like knit or cook or something, (I’m totally joking, but I’m not a woman and don’t know).
- Come back together with wood and nails to build a bridge and get the fuck over it.
(If that commenter isn’t a therapist, maybe he should consider it.)
Minneapolis Star Tribune quoted an Indian study that says if a couple argues once a week, that’s a good thing. From William Doherty:
“Constructive conflict can put a spark in a relationship,” he said. “Love needs a spark every now and then.”
Bernie Slutsky, a marriage therapist added: “At least they’re trying to reach the other person… it’s still better than if they just sit there and stonewall each other. That’s a lot more destructive.”
The article goes on to say that some Minnesotans have an additional problem that most of us probably never considered: Apparently, Scandinavians, which comprise a large part of the population there, don’t like to argue. “The basic rationale of a Scandinavian marriage is ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell.'”
See, you have choices, and somewhere new to move, if necessary.
After hours of research, regretfully I admit I can’t find a definitive answer on how often couples argue. Could it possibly be twice a week, too?
(I did find a likely PLACE to argue: Ikea. Comedian Amy Poehler once joked that Ikea was Swedish for “argument.”)
Most likely the answer would be in this book: The Normal Bar: The Surprising Secrets of Happy Couples., which studied 100,000 couples and got all the juicy numbers. If anyone has the book and can find the answer in there, please share. Meanwhile, avoid Ikea and consider Minneapolis.
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