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General

Developing Emotional Stability

The experience of becoming emotionally unstable is profoundly disorienting.  It fundamentally interferes with personality, with cognitive functioning, with the capacity to concentrate, to remember, to process information.  It interferes and inhibits the capacity for spontaneity and creativity.

We cannot play or be ourselves when we are in the grip of emotional instability.  We lose our capacity to maintain a coherent narrative about ourselves
How do we live with this?


General

Psychological Instability Isn’t Visible, But It’s There

In this blog, I am writing about ideas that are brought to mind while trying to understand the experience of emotional instability.  Sometimes this is referred to under the heading of emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD). 

Certain people are prone to experiences of psychological and emotional instability.  It’s a bit like having a weak ankle.  Most of the time you wouldn’t know there was a problem, then all of a sudden you have tripped over a loose paving stone, again.



General

Are You Emotionally Unstable?

If you have been given a diagnosis, or if you think you might suffer from emotional instability, often referred to under the headings of EUPD or Borderline Personality Disorder, you might find this interesting.  In my view;

These kinds of emotional states are acquired.
We generally don't suffer from emotional instability because there is something wrong with us,
We suffer it as a consequence of things that have happened to us.
However, we might not be very clear about what those things were.



General

Cocaine – Did You Relapse Again?

When a coke user relapses, they experience intense feelings of shame. When we relapse we have profound feelings of regret and self-loathing.

It is very hard on the psyche and the soul.  It makes you feel extremely down and depressed.  You don’t want to get back on it again.  You want to forget about everything.  There is just no place to be.  It is all too easy to slip further into the destructive world of addiction.  The world you have been working so hard to escape from.



General

Have I Married A Stranger?

Do you sometimes have the sense that your partner is a stranger?  That they behave in ways that are so surprising and so unpredictable, that it leaves you wondering; just who is this person I married?  It might sound an unlikely scenario, but it's not.  It's very easy to get caught up in what you want to believe.

Some people thrive on being in love, they will do anything to prolong the magic of their love affairs.  They use love to cover up their emotional wounds.
How do you take care of yourself when faced with such a glittering and attractive person?


General

Am I Living With A Liar?

Are you worried that your partner is lying to you?  When your partner speaks do you find yourself doubting what they are saying? Lying is a habit, it is a way of relating to other people and to yourself.  Once someone has developed the habit of lying it can be hard to break.  It can be hard to pin the person down, to find out what the truth is.

It’s not exactly their fault.  They have developed this skewed way of adapting to the world and to other people.  You may not be able to change them.  But you can try to follow your own hunch, your intuition that you are not being told the truth.  You can use that hunch to look after yourself.



General

Are You An Adult Survivor Of Childhood Bereavement?

The death of a parent in childhood can be a very complicated experience.  If you are lucky there will be people around you who will support you, and be with you, and look after you as you come to terms with what’s happened.  But a lot of people are not that lucky.
We don’t tend to be very prepared for talking about death, about loss.  And because we don’t know what to say about it we tend to end up saying nothing.   That can leave a child carrying a complicated and very difficult emotional burden.  


General

Childhood Bereavement – When A Parent Dies

I recently heard a story about a girl whose mother had died.  The girl was 12 and was described as being stoic.  Whenever I am told that a bereaved person (especially a child) is a stoic I wince.  The implication seems to convey a sense that the child is being brave and that the impact of the death does not seem to be too bad.

Jonathon Swift wrote; ‘a stoic would cut off their feet for want of shoes’.  Sometimes what is going on in such bereavement cases is that the adults that are left in the orbit of the child are projecting something of their own wish to cut off the subject of parental death.


General

All I Want For Christmas Is A Stable Mood

Christmas tends to be a stressful time.  If you are someone who is particularly sensitive to other people’s stresses then you may find yourself being quick react.

Being reactive is where moods can run away with themselves.  It is all too easy to find yourself spending the rest of the day trying to get your reactions back under your control.  That is a very tiring way to live.

I think it is more helpful to try to be proactive and to manage yourself and to prepare for the different emotions you are likely to encounter.