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I Feel Left Out! 10 Ways To Give It Away With Friends

A girl can “give it away” in all her relationships, even with her friends. Whenever you aren’t staying true to what you want and who you are, whenever you don’t take care of yourself, you are giving it away. I have TOTALLY been there and done them all. Here’s a top 10 list of how to do that with your women friendships, and make yourself miserable, if you so choose:

Mindy Kaling. I love her. Read her book.

10 Ways To Give It Away With Friends

1. Say yes to anything your friends ask you to do.

  • It doesn’t matter if you are stressed, overwhelmed, just do it anyway to please someone else or make your friend like you. Yeah, you might get annoyed, tense and end up resenting them, but that’s ok.

2. Always be the one that listens.

  • You don’t want to burden your friends with your problems. After all, their problems are much more important than yours.

3. Never ask for support or help from anyone else.

  • You live by the motto that you can handle it all on your own. No need to ask for help. That just shows people how weak and imperfect you are.
  • And everyone knows that friends do not want the opportunity to help or nurture you in any way. Make sure they don’t get to feel good about what they can do for you, just help them.

4. Lament being lonely, but don’t do anything about it.

  • Have you heard of the book by Mindy  Kaling, “Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?” So funny. Just think that that’s true and then feel bad about yourself. Do not reach out and ask friends to do anything when you’re feeling rejected or lonely.
  • Do not initiate any social events or get togethers or call anybody for lunch. Just assume they are too busy. Luxuriate in your ostracism.

5. Let resentments fester.

  • If you are hurt or mad about something a girlfriend said the last time you were together, don’t tell her how you feel. Just assume she is a B(&^h who meant to hurt you. Or, you can just feel bad and quietly resent her , give her the silent treatment, and not call her for weeks.

6. Triangulate and bitch to other friends, but don’t be direct.

  • Again, you are hurt or mad about that thing your friend did or said. Don’t tell her about it and just tell everyone else about what she did. Talk about her behind her back.

7. Never initiate getting together.

  • You are too busy to initiate catching up with Jane. And that phone call you have been meaning to make, don’t do it. Just assume all is well with your friends, and know that no effort is necessary to keep relationships connected.

8. Spend all of your energy at work or at home. Don’t set time aside for anything else.

  • “What would your family do without you?” you think to yourself. Don’t get together with your friends, plan any get-away trips, or take time for yourself because there is just too much to do.

9. When you meet a guy or if you are in a relationship, drop your friends, and rarely make yourself available.

  • That way, if you get dumped or break up, you will feel isolated and alone. And your friends will be bugged because then you finally want to spend time with them.

10. Pick really mean women to have friendships with and then assume that all women are that way.

  • Then write off having friendships.

Got It Girl Takeaway:
I am the worst with remembering birthdays. Sometimes I do go a very long time without calling my friends and initiating time together. However, I am working on this.

Make sure that if you do any of these top 10 items, make a decision now to work on one of them. Call a friend or email this to someone you care about. Women’s friendships are so important. I don’t know what I would do without my gaggle of girls.

What do you do in this list?


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I Feel Left Out! 10 Ways To Give It Away With Friends

Cherilynn Veland, LCSW, MSW

Cherilynn Veland, MSW, LCSW, is a counselor and coach based in Chicago. She has been helping individuals, couples and families for more than 20 years. She is author of Stop Giving It Away, a book about developing healthier relationships with yourself and others. The Stop Giving It Away movement aims to stop the detrimental level of self-sacrifice in which many women live and work. Winner of the 2015 National Indie Excellence Book Award in the Women's Issues category - Stop Giving It Away.

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APA Reference
, . (2014). I Feel Left Out! 10 Ways To Give It Away With Friends. Psych Central. Retrieved on June 20, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/psychology-women/2014/06/i-feel-left-out-10-ways-to-give-it-away-with-friends/


Last updated: 29 May 2014
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 29 May 2014
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.