11 thoughts on “6 Ways Childhood Abuse and Neglect Leads to Self-Blame in Adulthood

  • July 2, 2018 at 7:23 pm

    Well written article!..
    Detailed enough without being wordy ,, and covering not only the causes but the various areas in which it shows up in later life. After decades under the diagnosis of bipolar and anxiety , a recent addition of borderline personality ( stemming from childhood ‘experience’ ) fits well with what is described here. With DBT and individual therapy together with meds, I have a better result with me more in control than ever before.

  • July 3, 2018 at 3:37 pm

    so true. please more on the huge spectrum of emotional abuse.
    its way mORE harmful than people realize as its often well disguised .
    my parents were rich & good looking. no one believed how constantly critical &
    judgy they were 24/7 & took out their anger & frustration with their careers & each others constant philandering on me & my brother….
    i have onoy got past this sad reality with a good therpist at the ripe old age of 60 yrs old.

  • July 3, 2018 at 8:07 pm

    6 Ways Childhood Abuse and Neglect Leads to Self-Blame in Adulthood

    Way more happens with childhood abuse. The World Health Organization’s ICD now includes Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, ID 6B41.

    Hopefully soon it will be included in the DSM.

    Many sufferers need this diagnosis and appropriate trauma therapy.

  • July 4, 2018 at 12:36 pm

    I had to take quite a few deep breaths while reading the article. It hit home in several areas of my life. I’m 40 now and though my mother has pasted I still feel the deep emotional and physical wounds experienced as a child. Just when I have believed that I have overcome the obstacles of the trauma I end up falling apart and backward again. This was enlightening to me and I know that trauma is a consistent work in progress.

    • July 4, 2018 at 12:40 pm

      Hi BrandyLee Cox,

      Yes, unfortunately childhood trauma can hunt us long after we’re not children anymore. It can take quite a while to overcome it, but it’s like that for everyone.

      Thank you for your comment, and all the best!

      • July 5, 2018 at 12:09 am

        Can we recover? I’m in therapy. My therapist is wonderful and has been very helpful. But I don’t know if I can ever be fixed or if I am damaged forever.

      • July 5, 2018 at 12:18 am

        Hi June,

        It depends on the individual’s personal situation, but generally speaking it’s very much possible to recover to a great degree if a person has at least the minimum of what’s necessary to heal. Your therapist is wonderful so you have that important factor, which should help significantly in your personal journey.

        All the best,

      • September 17, 2018 at 7:49 pm

        Dear Darius,
        I was bullied as a youth, I was diagnosed with emotional incest. Also, my only parent died when I thirteen. Mom was an amputee. When she died, I felt relieved. Not knowing how to react, I blamed myself for not being saddened.I turned to drugs for the better part of my life. Diagnosed with P.T.S.D. w/ hypomania, maturity via religion has helped immensely. I just celebrated one year sobriety. I’m almost sixty…

  • July 5, 2018 at 4:43 am

    Thank you for the informative article. It is comforting but overwhelming to see myself so clearly described. The article could have been based on my history. I am 53 and have been in therapy for 3 years since my father died. Grief broke through the wall I had used to keep myself numb. My therapist is using the therapeutic relationship to teach me how a healthy relationship works. He encourages me to express my feelings and is showing me anger is okay to feel and discuss. He says anger is natural and healthy. In my family anger came out through the silent treatment by my father. I have repressed anger, am codependent, have anxiety and major abandonment issues. My therapist assures me regularly that he will not abandon me. I have come to feel safe for the first time ever and trust him completely. It is not too late to heal and change. I am a work in progress but if I can do it anyone can.

  • September 16, 2019 at 7:16 am

    Not to forget the thinning of the line between taking blame and taking responsibility. It’s like we’re scared of acknowledging even in our heads that what the other person has done might be wrong , because the immediate judgement that arises is ‘why are you blaming the other person?’ and so, we introspect and introspect and decide we’re the ones at fault!! Even when we aren’t sometimes!

  • January 20, 2020 at 9:12 pm

    I am seeking trauma therapy cause of suffering with PTSD come childhood abuse and neglect. I am 54 years old so tired of beating myself up for everything that goes wrong that everybody in my life may be doing. This past year I might have misunderstood a suggestion that was posted on my online support group. Basically the person suggested that I shouldn’t be taking only 50% responsibility 2 what happens to me in my life I need to take a hundred percent responsibility. This has left me totally confused to the point where my ex boyfriend how to spell recently once again physically and verbally abused me before leaving out of my life again. This has left me so confused because all I have done since it’s happened is found so many reasons to hold myself responsible or how he has treated me. I am in the process up starting trauma therapy that was suggested by a co-worker who only knows me 3 months and strongly feels I am totally confused about how I see the world and how I do not stand up for myself protect myself or even think I’m worth it. It has made me feel so uncomfortable with myself that a coworker who only knows me for 3 months can see how damaged I really am. I am so confused I don’t know exactly when I will be starting trauma therapy it fills me with so much anxiety.


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