11 thoughts on “How Narcissists Use Silent Treatment for Manipulation

  • March 12, 2020 at 9:47 pm

    Hello Darius,

    Your article hit the nail on the head for me. My mother was always giving me the silent treatment when I was growing up and, she got worse when I was a teenager. On one occasion, she ignored me for a whole month… I was only 16 and it made me feel so bad. I grew up feeling unworthy and that I didn’t matter. Looking back, my mother was a narcissistic B.

    I spent a month visiting my half brother and his family in New Zealand in 2015. As soon as I arrived, he began complaining that it had taken 52 years to visit him and he complained to every person that we met as though to try and humiliate me. I never had the money to travel to the other side of the world to see him but he went on and on about it. Throughout the visit he made no effort to make conversation with me and would give me contemptuous looks or bury his head in the daily paper. However, I recognized that he was being abusive and controlling so, I stayed quiet for most of the time not giving him a chance to shout at me or say something horrible that would upset me. After I got home, I went into a depression. I think it was all the stress, hurt and anger that I was holding in to avoid any nastiness because he has a nasty temper. I’ve cut him out of my life and I don’t regret it one little bit. NO regrets there!

  • March 13, 2020 at 1:28 am

    Jesse lefever life with. Good luck

  • March 13, 2020 at 6:36 pm

    Hello, Darius.

    Thanks for that article! I had that experience from my late husband’s younger son and his wife on a cruise. I felt trapped, not to mention pained by that shunning. People do not seem to know how cruel the silent treatment becomes. Obvious;y, that man is covert and dishonest about me.


  • March 15, 2020 at 12:37 pm

    Thank you for this great article, Darius. My narcissistic sister gives the silent treatment, but she sometimes convinces a select few family members to join in.

    Personally, I welcome her silence because I won’t have to talk to her or text her. I know her arsenal of manipulations very well, and it means no communication from her for however long she decides to remain silent. I never question if I’ve done something wrong because I know it’s her narcissistic behavior.

    But she gives her husband, our disabled sibling and aging Mother the cruel silent treatment. And that is an extremely cruel thing to do to them.

  • April 8, 2020 at 5:22 pm

    Did you ever think that the silent treatment may be given to someone just because you dont like that person.That person knows it and won’t just shut up themselves,because they want to aggravate the problem.they just need to be quiet period and that’s all.Dont like you,have nothing to say to you,what’s the problem?

    • July 25, 2020 at 5:13 pm

      Of course but if it is an ongoing manipulation. Nooo. It’s defenetly a covert NARC Thing

    • August 9, 2020 at 10:54 am

      Then tell the person you aren’t interested in continuing any contact when they try to talk to you, or text you, etc. and maybe even why.
      That’s called “setting up personal boundaries”
      When you use the silent treatment you exhibit emotional immaturity.

  • July 1, 2020 at 1:15 am

    Thank you so much for writing this article. I am just realizing that the charming easy going guy that I was dating was ignoring me as a form of punishment. I chose to end all- So glad I am free of this emotional abuse!!!

  • July 4, 2020 at 4:01 pm

    i used to dread the covert narcs’ silent treatment.
    Now fiur years after i reakized the decades long emotional Controling and everything surround by ” all about him”
    I now hold the control. I have set boundaries ( if u dont think that was hard you know nothing about narcs)!!!!
    Anyway NOW I WELCOME the SILENT TEATments as i now try never to comunicate on a leavel that will suck me into his adjenda Nd thx fir these aretals. Althoidont have the attention toreadall thirad, iget the jest.

  • July 25, 2020 at 3:14 pm

    I recently visited an old friend and after 2 days he started with one word answers and the silent treatment. Just remained to myself until it was time to leave . When I told them I was leaving today they looked at me with amazement. I have no feelings to speak to them nor do I ever want to hear thier voice. When I returned home I felt as if I was hit with a ton on bricks.

  • July 25, 2020 at 4:46 pm

    Thx for this
    Ive lived decades with a covert narc. But nit til we moved to be closer to HIS FAMILY. AND THEN WAS DIAGNOSED WITH DEMENTIA/ AHLTZHEIMERS. WERE MY
    eyes oped to all his emothinal. Gaslighting. Silent treatment sexual abuse which he thought i owed him finantial abouse ect….
    Now im traped. I cant leave and hell akways be ok cause of his narc family.
    Im commited yet detached
    Ive set boundaries. Ect.
    I now do the bills thats hiw i found out hiw he spent all my inheratunce i got from losing. my fist son.
    After going thru his emotional abusrl abuse trying tomcontrol me …..hes apering
    To aquenct and say hes sirrt ect. Things hed never do befire as its was his way or the hiway.
    He ruined us finantialy but giving our house away. Hed never take my advice.
    I remember fir years begging him on issues.
    What a waist. Hes still the same exceot now hes losung his mind.
    No onw in his family or friends believe me. But i have outside friends that do NOW


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