17 thoughts on “How Narcissists Blame and Accuse Others for Their Own Shortcomings

  • August 14, 2019 at 7:15 am

    What if I just happen to explain to someone why they are a narcissist and then she beats the shit out of me?

    Reply
      • August 14, 2019 at 8:34 am

        I suggest using a firm boundary. For example, “You’re hitting / bullying / attacking me. I’m leaving for my own safety. I’ll engage with you when you can control yourself. If you can’t, I’m done with this relationship.” Then walk away.

        Reply
    • August 14, 2019 at 5:27 pm

      You may want to have her arrested Rick. I’m not sure what your situation is however if you’re being physically abused (and it sounds like emotionally abused as well) then it may be wise to contact the authorities.

      Because your situation may be dangerous (and I’m not sure how many people are involved in this abuse against you) it may be wise to report her from a distance in a safe place where you’re relatively certain that you aren’t in any immediate danger.

      It’s real easy to say “just report her!” however not knowing the situation completely and again whether or not this would put you into any immediate danger, it’s possibly something to think about and plan out wisely.

      I’m wishing you the best!

      Reply
      • October 5, 2019 at 7:49 pm

        Carry a small can of mace or keep a stun gun nearby if you just want to protect yourself without permanent outcomes. I’m not sure how I stumbled across this site but man it really saddens me to learn so many are dealing with these scumbags. Sorry, reading these accounts are also pissing me off and wanting to go throw these assholes out of the house with a good kick in the ass. I’m sure the site Administration won’t like it and just label them as having a disorder but in my honest opinion, once someone consciously decides to break someone who loves them, the line has been crossed and I can’t think of enough derogatory labels to put on them. Call me old fashioned but I’d love to beat them until they admit to their evil. FuckSake! Sorry
        I truly hope everyone in these relationships gets out ASAP. Sorry there’s no good excuse to stay. Once your free you will god willing, become whole again. But much wiser. Much love and blessings everyone. I truly wish you lives free of manipulation and suffering.

        Reply
  • August 14, 2019 at 8:32 am

    It’s especially sad and vexing when someone like this is in the family, and the mother is constantly watching out for them, protecting them.

    Reply
  • August 14, 2019 at 10:26 am

    My husband is a narcissist…his specialty is the “truncation” you describe…he will berate me for my own actions and completely disregard what they were in respnse to. Gaslighting is also one of his tools. I know that his traumatic childhood led to his Narcissistic tendencies, and I do not plan to divorce him. These articles are helpful as they counter the effects of the gaslighting…by confirming that my perceptions are accurate. Thank you.

    Reply
  • August 14, 2019 at 10:33 am

    This really sounds like someone I hear a lot about…🤔

    Reply
  • August 14, 2019 at 11:23 am

    Well I was raised by a narcissitic sociopath. She divorced when I was 2. Every Christmas I hoped for a heart for my mother. Of course that never happened. I loved school, that is the first place when I got praise, told that I was smart. She married 4 more times all my steps liked me, of course she told me they are just putting up with me due to her. She would never physically hurt me besides squeezing my hand or pinching. I have experienced her hitting herself and pulling her hair out in a total temper tantrum, which she blamed on my grandma. I could definitely go on and on, but it will not change anything.

    Reply
  • August 14, 2019 at 2:18 pm

    Darius has done a good job of explaining the mechanism by which the narcissist operates and its impact on those effected by them. It is worth noting that we all have some residual narcissist tendancy from some period of our growing up. Sometimes recognizing extreme narcissist isn’t only because of the ‘projection’ Darius refers to but because at some level there is some level of residual guilt. That is perfectly normal in my opinion because the conscious awareness of discomfort can be understood and is probably a healthy reflection on what was a passing phase and not strictly speaking a condition.

    Reply
  • August 14, 2019 at 2:35 pm

    BOOM!

    Reply
  • August 14, 2019 at 11:29 pm

    Sounds like Trump in every way !

    Reply
  • August 29, 2019 at 3:59 pm

    As an empath, is it possible to have a marriage or relationship with a narcissist?

    Reply
  • September 21, 2019 at 10:26 pm

    All I can do is nod my head-this is everything my almost ex -spouse does. It was my fault he cheated and had affairs. I’m diagnosed with mdd, ptsd, and anxiety from traumatic childhood. I withdraw- I read, walk, journal to bring myself out of depression. That was excuses for every affair, and possible pregnancy that was miscarriage. Several detrimental keys of information on several occasions withheld for months.
    Bragging how women flirt, but he doesn’t respond (right…) I have broken away.
    I am now the bad guy, I cheated, I’m going off the deep end, I need serious help. I gave him an std when I was faithful, when I was not having physical contact. I could go on and on. To wrap it in a pretty bow, this was told to my dad. Really?
    He forgives me, will give me one more chance. He plays victim, future lying, gaslighting. No, I can’t go back. This is tip of iceberg. I want out of the cycle. I want healthy, and happy. I’m pursuing BA in Psychology. Truly eye opening at same time.

    Reply
  • October 6, 2019 at 3:16 pm

    Well said. Thank you for this!

    Reply
  • December 26, 2019 at 9:32 am

    Wow…my husband recently disrespected me and I slowly lost my cool. In the midst of me angrily telling him that I would not tolerate being disrespected or mistreated, he tried to turn it around by saying that I was disrespecting him by staring at a guy (2 nights before) while at a birthday dinner (total lie). When I shot that down, he began to say that he wasn’t going to tolerate being bullied by me and how he was tired if me bullying him. LOL…sorry for the laugh, but the more I say it, it becomes more funny and pathetic to me.

    My husband is a big guy and most sees him as intimidating (although he can be very sweet and charming and giving), he is 6’3, 270 lbs, carries a gun, never “shys” away from confrontation, if he sees confrontation, he inserts himself (trying to save the day), he is very, very mean (on his off days, which can be farely often), has road rage, quick to get irritated and anger and doesn’t mind being referred to as a smart A or A hole….

    Sorry…. but that surely doesn’t sound like someone who can be bullied by ANYONE and trust me…no one tries! His family is so tired of the way he treats them that they don’t invite us to events as often anymore because he always finds a reason to get irritated or loud and angry with one of them.

    It has taken me several years to truly understand what I am truly dealing with and I know it’s no question that my marriage will probably not work.

    Reply
 

Join the Conversation!

We invite you to share your thoughts and tell us what you think in this public forum. Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines. A first name or pseudonym is required and will be displayed with your comment. Your email address is also required, but will be kept private. (Please note that we use gravatars here, which are tied to your email address.) A website/blog/twitter address is optional.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *