10 thoughts on “Abusive Things Narcissists and Other Abusers Think Are Okay to Do

  • May 29, 2019 at 7:15 am

    A very enlightening article. Indeed too many people have normalized bad language and bad behavior.
    I’m wondering, Mr Darius, would you be kind to share notes, or slides if you can, that present your expert opinion on the topic so it can be applied toward the education of child protection stakeholders? Thank you in anticipation.

  • May 29, 2019 at 4:45 pm

    Wonderful article. Seems so simple and basic when it’s stated like this, but very beneficial to have the truth spoken.
    I had an abusive parent and then an abusive spouse – yep, that common mistake of allowing the fire to rescue one from the frying pan. Reading down this list, I can check everything except “ignoring”.
    It’s been almost six years now and I can joke about it, but still enjoy reading articles like this for even more clarification of my thinking.
    “What if I deserved it, what if I should have tried harder?” rarely comes into my thinking any more.
    It’s very simple– what THEY did was wrong and that was THEIR bad choice. I didn’t deserve it, because nobody deserves it!

  • June 1, 2019 at 12:37 am

    All but the physical violence. Severe deprivation of healthcare and food.
    13 years.
    I downplay it. I’m still not all the way out. Health problems and no money.
    No one believes me I guess. 🙁 I had one person, and now he doesn’t really speak to me, since I said what has happened all this time.
    My one last person.

    • June 1, 2019 at 5:04 pm

      So sorry you have gone through such an unforgivable experience, S.M. There are many good YouTube blogs and even affordable course on narcissistic/psychopathic abuse as well as books to help you escape, go no contact (or minimal contact), and recovery. I wish you Godspeed in your recovery.

    • June 4, 2019 at 4:53 pm

      i hope that you can find your way out. Other people do not want to believe the truth many times. I lost relationships with other relatives (aunts and a cousin) for telling the truth about my sibling and taking legal action even though there was a legal conviction for physical violence.

  • June 5, 2019 at 3:14 pm

    i was ‘mobbed’ by a true narcissist at work; someone who was vying for the same administrative position as myself. By ‘mobbed’ i mean he ingratiated himself to all our other coworkers mostly by imparting male attention to women who were starving for it and they were hooked. This went on for three years without my knowledge until he turned up the heat. I had to leave a wonderful, satisfying, fulfilling, good paying job because of this horrible person who i was unlucky enough to come in contact with. Eventually he got the higher position but not via ‘legitimate’ means, i.e. he used his narcissism in the worst ways, and had the existing person in that position thrown out who was eventually killed while driving home after working a night shift. How’s that for narcissism? The ‘ripple’ effect never ended.

  • June 10, 2019 at 5:04 pm

    This post describes exactly how my life was from age 10.5 (when my adoptive father was dying of cancer. He was the only family I’ve ever had) right up until age 32, when I had my final conversation with my adoptive “mother”.
    It didn’t end there; I’ve apparently got a huge neon sign over my head that says: EASY PREY FOR NARCISSISTS…
    Two recent former roommates were narcissists; one gaslit/mentally abused me and my ESAs, the other sexually harassed me and intentionally ruined some of my things when I spurned his advances and moved out.

    This is why I now live alone and refuse to date, even though I’m frightfully lonesome.

  • June 11, 2019 at 10:00 pm

    I have been with a narcissist for the past 5 years. I am now depleted of all will to live. My children and friends have all been chased away and now I am left with just me. Fear is my friend and that’s all that i have. Death i pray for daily. Nobody understands nor do they care about me. My life is over I just want to sleep and never wake up again

    • June 19, 2019 at 8:25 am

      Me too Elizabeth. And I still love this man. I also have a mood disorder which effects my physical & mental energy. The only thing that keeps me going is my large breed dog Dolly. I’m living in a very rural littlr cabin no toilet. Hard living but nice nature. Far away from family and no energy to see them not a fun to be around person anymore. Very broke on a mental disability. My man’s been gone months building a car & drinking with his friends in another city. I find most people are oppurnistic narcissistic intrusive bullies these days so I am a recluse. Desperately wishing I would meet likeminded kind quirky accepting woman friends but have given up on that. All woman friends have betrayed me in some way. My daughter is great I text her a lot. My son gave up on me because I texted him to much & am depressed. I have a problem trusting anyone really wants me around for me so I questioned it to much. My man is on the lower level of narcissistic but also a chronic alchoholic & a lot of work when he is here. I get bullied by nieghbours to live there way I ignore it really I tell him to F himself too. But I cook & keep him healthy & I love him. But I no longer care much about myself & at 57 I feel my life is done. I chose it & I can’t change it no money, no energy, no will. I do have faith & full of love & my big Maremma/Pyrenees Dolly. I understand Elizabeth. I hope you get joy back. Nature & music gives me joy but I’m so alone.

  • August 17, 2019 at 8:44 am

    Such a great article & right on point. There is life after malignant narcissist. Every day I battle these ugly & unholy demons that have left a shadow in my past. But, they are no longer my future !


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