22 thoughts on “8 Ways Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Toxic People Blend into Society

  • April 8, 2019 at 4:25 am

    This is an extremely important article. I have long felt that training in identifying and dealing with the toxic people one will inevitably come into contact with in a lifetime should be part of everyone’s standard education.

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    • April 10, 2019 at 8:20 am

      Such a much needed article. My Mother, Brother, and now Son-In-Law all are sociopaths. I could have been spared many many decades of pain and wanting to commit suicide because of them if this would have been taught in school. Many teenagers and young women are murdered by sociopaths because they were not educated on the warning signs!

      Reply
  • April 10, 2019 at 7:11 am

    I married a person like this 29 years ago. I didn’t figure it out for years. Everyday is a nightmare, he makes sure it is.
    When you find yourself making excuses for them and feeling shame for their actions. Run, it only gets worse

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  • April 10, 2019 at 7:30 am

    Wow, this is my husband to a T. And he has destroyed my reputation my life my finances my family my friendships. He has done his best to destroy his ex and his kids life’s and is after our daughter whom is only little and like a sponge. Very sick people underneath the facade. Only most are charmed by him and I am the anti christ! Even my parents but hey what do you know there very similar! Birds of a feather flock together. This is a huge problem in our society. How do we turn it around?

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  • April 10, 2019 at 9:33 am

    I am currently experiencing the rath of many narcissists. They are the liberal progressive left democrats set on destroying my life. They gang stalk me 24/7/365 and commit criminal acts against me everyday. Character assassination, sabotage family lifeand finances. These narcissists are also the deep state DHS FBI. 7 acts if road rage, accidents I was found not at fault, and I had my drivers license suspended.

    I was required to tirn over medical records and because I admitted myself to a mental ward when my wife died (dementia) and was diagnosed bipolar. The VA doctors will not sign off that I am ok I am doomed. The VA Psychiatrist declared myself paranoid because I told him I was being gang stalked.

    Does any one know or recommend what I can do to redeem my besmirched name and receive medical clearance to reinstate my drivers license privileges. I am located in Orange County California.

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    • April 11, 2019 at 12:56 am

      Yes. The very first thing you must do is begin smoking weed. Everyday, nonstop, for a month. Eventually you will soon realize Republican Conservatives became that way due to bitterness, resentment and the unholy rejection of actionable aliveness. Being this way, they are hungry ghosts without the insight necessary to realize their malignant destruction of others is a direct result of their own disavowal and repudiation of their own healthy animal needs. Suppression is misery, something Conservatives will never, ever admit to themselves. If only they could get down with their bad selves, they would be so, so much happier, and in their happiness, be enthralled and ultimately ecstatic when confronted with the happiness of others, who are moving through the the world with the experience of being alive as they are.

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  • April 10, 2019 at 9:56 am

    It sums it all. Thank you, you definitely nailed it. I have been reading and writing about the subject for two years now, very impressive !

    I am also a victim, an empath about to be cured, and a therapist… I learned the hard way. Let’s say my amygdalas are on overdrive…

    What stuns me is the fact that vics are left empty, usually poorer and definitely without any energy or stamina. Stealing and harassing are violent acts, but not considered a criminal act. Vics are often women with children, bruised and disoriented … sadly, we are at the very beginning of this “crusade” in my opinion.

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  • April 10, 2019 at 10:33 am

    I will soon retire after 51 years of being employed in MANY different fields. The statement that narcissists are prevalent in our society is an UNDERSTATEMENT!! The issue is that many “bosses” are either too inept to perceive them OR the bosses are narcissists themselves and so they bond/band with the incoming narcissists. The good part of this equation is that in many cases the incoming narcissist is not as smart as they think they are and on top of that they have a full time job of convincing the bosses that they are all that and a six pack too, so they can’t really pay attention to the actual job. In my case the narcissist heard me discussing my impending retirement plans with the boss that she was good buddies with. As soon as that discussion became common knowledge – the narcissist – not to be out done by anyone, especially me – gave her own retirement notice and was gone in about a month – maybe six weeks. The said boss gave her a retirement lunch that the rest of us were told the date, time and place and NOT given an invitation but instead told “SEE YOU THERE”. And they gave the woman a $400 watch after only 11 years, 11 months of service. We had an employ that had been with this company for over 26 years and was not even taken to lunch when the bosses retired her. The world is full of narcissists. Personally, I trust in God to do the “getting even”, because there is no way I am going to let one of them cause me to spend the rest of my life in a prison cell for letting one of them push me to the point of no return!! It is tough to keep your cool, it takes a lot of practice.

    Reply
    • April 11, 2019 at 2:50 pm

      Look at it this way..the narcissist is actually allowing you to control their life. They did not retire because they perceived it was the right time for them but as a reaction to your actions.
      Also they got a $400.00 gift, thats’ because your boss wanted to make them happy so there would be no retaliation.

      Reply
  • April 10, 2019 at 11:27 am

    As someone who feels deep revulsion and aversion —
    okay: hatred — for animals, especially dogs, I am constantly searching for information on why the majority of people feel the opposite way. It seems totally counterintuitive to me. If there’s anything you might suggest I read, I’d greatly appreciate knowing. Thank you.

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  • April 10, 2019 at 11:44 am

    Is there any hope for these people? I am one but desperately want to change and stop my destructive behaviors.
    How do I heal from my childhood trauma and remove these defects. I’m at the end of my rope.
    Please keep in mind I don’t want to be this way. I was 12 years old when a huge part of me died and thus a narcissist was born.

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    • April 10, 2019 at 11:48 am

      Yes, anyone who is aware of their shortcomings can get better. The problem is that most people with strong narcissistic tendencies lack self-awareness and don’t want to get better. I have a video on that –

      But as long as you are self-aware and honestly want to get better, there is hope.

      All the best on your journey!
      Darius

      Reply
    • April 11, 2019 at 2:56 pm

      I found you have to be honest with yourself when getting therapy and that does not mean judging yourself labelling yourself bad..be objective if you can. You must feel comfortable and confident that the therapist won’t judge.

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  • April 10, 2019 at 3:57 pm

    LOL, they get elected to public office

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  • April 11, 2019 at 5:57 pm

    It’s taken awhile to finally accept the inner experience of people with personality disorders, especially narcissists. But I find there is real value in acceptance. Accepting means you cannot change them, which means you’ll cease spending time doing so. Accepting they can only see and understand others in extreme either/or categories of perfect or worthless, can reduce self-doubt, for clearly seeing “their process” we are in less danger of internalizing their emotional abuses and manipulations. Accepting they cannot regulate their self-esteem by self-validating or “self-soothing” (talking to one’s self kindly while coming up with the best solution to a problem or conflict) helps us understand and avoid their basic strategy: a “devaluation game.” The devaluation game is triggered when a narcissist perceives a threat to their massively distorted inner self need to be perfect, which is designed to erase the threat (it’s a bit different with malignant or toxic narcissists, who get their self-esteem strokes by intentionally crushing the spirit of vulnerable other(s). The conspiracy theorists who harassed and stalked the parents of the Sandy Hook victims is an example of malignant narcissism). Knowing their “vital” need to devalue puts us in a better position to properly evaluate their known abusive tactics and respond accordingly, and with confidence instead of self-doubt (most notably, gas-lighting). Accepting, they are, in fact, emotional children, in many ways stuck seeing the way a child see things, at about ages 3-6, and that their mental impairments are equivalent to someone with severe physical limitations believing and trying to convince others they can win a marathon, allows us to reduce being disappointed, again and again.

    I really liked the descriptive terms in this article—they’re more down to earth and more easily digestible than terms like “splitting,” or using the infamous object relations terms. Narcissistic pretending is immediately obvious to me. It wasn’t always so. I had to build a skill set, trust my intuition, and practice to get there. This is well worth the effort, and can save a healthy person from enduring the stress with being overly involved with a narcissist. Mimicking. I imagine narcissists must make great actors for this uncanny ability in and of itself (I think the psychology behind the movie “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” and “The Thing” were creative responses to the fear of wolves in sheep’s clothing). Their Chameleon tongue is manifold. The opposite of authenticity. I’ve experienced a few covert narcissists who have perfected the art of mirroring (telling others what they want to hear to manipulate and gain narcissistic supply from them), even dated one for awhile (warning engaging with someone who has this process can be very addictive; you will, as they say, believe you’re on the “top of the world”). Normalization. Great term for the NPD’s ability to embed themselves into a context or community supporting their twisted grandiosity and entitlement. Cults come to mind, and I bet there is quite a bit of narcissism in Scientology, for example. Fox news is quite adept at providing this for a certain someone. Who could it be? The sheer saturation of mixed messages and half-truths invading our screens at every moment allows for even more insidious forms of nuanced lying and manipulation (for example, the “Strawman” tactic—manipulating one person’s comment by exaggerating or conflating it in order to support the position of the other is far more prevalent than ever before). Sabotaging and hurting others due to comparing is another part of their game. Twitter is an obvious example of how prevalent this is. I also see this happening in many wealthy families as they vicariously try to live through their children. For example, becoming viciously competitive with other parents who have children in the same sport as them, tearing each other down on social media and the like. Perhaps this is more of a collective narcissism, which corporate capitalism engenders at every turn. Sadly, as mentioned, it’s why narcissists flourish so—because our culture rewards their unhealthiness, especially false confidence, pretending and mimicking. (for example, leaders who radiate a soothingly protective fatherly presence role are quite adept at maintaining reelection powers). But even with all the fame, money and power, I take comfort in knowing the ways they move through the world (desperately grasping for attention in order to perpetuate a nonexistent false-self) is the opposite of a healthy, peaceful life, which can only be experienced from deep within, as a profound sense of healthy self-love.

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    • April 18, 2019 at 8:54 am

      You nailed it, Eric. Thanks for the comments. I have struggled for a few years after a particularly nasty run in with a (now former) friend who is a covert narcissist. I sure wish I had the tools at the time to recognize her strategy of pretending, mimicking, and grandstanding. She calls this her “brand” and viciously defends it. I finally figured out she has the have that facade, because she’s a sad empty shell underneath it. In almost every conversation, she figured out a way to make a subtly derogatory comments to me about one thing or another. Now I watch on social media as she sucks others in the same way she sucked me in – a never ending narcissistic supply. I feel sorry for them, but don’t say anything because she is SO charming that they would never believe me (unless they are my close friends, then I tell them). It’s too bad everyone has to learn this painful lesson by experiencing it. Seems like we could do better for each other until these sick individuals wake up and get the help they need.

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      • April 20, 2019 at 1:08 am

        Hi, glad you got out okay. It’s really crazy to think about how the personality disorders are evident in people who got stuck, in every way imaginable, during ages birth to six. Most adults are walking around in adult costumes, especially our president. It’s insane. All I can do is cease watching the new to stay healthy.

        Reply
  • April 11, 2019 at 6:13 pm

    This article describes my late husband’s ex wife.

    Even after he passed away she came at me full force for money, it cost me a lot of money in legal fees but I stood my ground.

    Too bad we don’t learn about people like this in high school.

    Reply
  • April 12, 2019 at 2:41 am

    This was Excellent.

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  • April 14, 2019 at 11:20 am

    You described Donald Trump exactly. How enough people were/are blinded by his extreme behavior to put him in office is beyond me! Even if his politics were an exact match for mine which they are not, they are a polar opposite, I would not have voted for him. I don’t need a degree in the mental health field to judge abborant behavior.

    Reply
  • April 16, 2019 at 2:08 pm

    I always suspect that a great portion of responses to these articles represent the subject well. Especially when they veer into political OPINION.

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