7 thoughts on “Are You Coping and Managing or Healing and Growing?

  • January 21, 2019 at 3:34 am

    Nice information thank you very much for sharing

  • January 21, 2019 at 10:42 am

    Thank you for your great article. I have a question. What is the hard work required for growth and real healing? Is it therapy with a professional? Which therapy methods are the best? Is cognitive behavioral therapy good?

    • January 21, 2019 at 1:03 pm

      Hi Kristiyan,

      Mostly the hard work involves analyzing your past (your childhood, relationship with your family, etc.) and how it connects to the problems that you have today. It’s trying to understand who you are and why you are the way you are, and then changing what you can about it (your false beliefs, your unwanted behaviors) and getting in touch with your emotions related to all of it (feeling and accepting them).

      It’s not so much about the therapy model but rather about the therapist. But generally, whoever is more empathetic, curious, supportive, and educated about the importance of early upbringing, who doesn’t tell you to “just get over it” or “forgive and forget” but actually helps you understand your life better.

      CBT can be “good” or can be “bad,” depending on your goals. Different people want to work on different problems. CBT usually doesn’t explore one’s childhood very much and concentrates more on now and the future. It can be very useful in some ways and not so much in others. So it depends on what you’re looking for.

      It’s a very broad topic but I hope these few paragraphs help at least a little bit!

  • January 25, 2019 at 5:34 am

    I’m 53 and just realized I have some serious mental health issues. I’m trying to get help, but there’s a process and takes time. I’m so angry about what was done to me. I’m so tired of being abused and mistreated by others. I’m afraid I’m going to hurt someone. Can childhood abuse lead to murder? I’m not functioning well, I feel like I’m evolving into a monster. It feels like something is trying to take control of me. Now that I am aware of the issues, I talk myself down, but it’s not easy. I desperately need help.

    • January 29, 2019 at 11:13 am

      Take heart Teri…getting in touch with the darkness that resides in all of us can feel terrifying, as you describe. It’s simply part of the process, unless you act on it…but I have a sense that this isn’t the case for you. Right now it’s fear.

    • February 3, 2019 at 2:29 am

      I appreciate your response. Do you have any suggestions on reading material re: understanding your childhood trauma? I took a cognitive intervention class 8 years ago, really opened my eyes to see the thinking errors and belief system that was in place. I made some changes but went back to some toxic ppl and places. So forgot all that I had learned.

  • January 30, 2019 at 12:22 pm

    THANKS! Have been coping and managing and doing every single self soothing, healthy choice during the worst multi-year cycle of my 55 yr old life . ALL the resilience exercises Got me no-where until reading this article pointing out that Healing and Growing toward forward progress and authentic happiness are theTRUE goal. who wants stagnation and treading water when I can set the goal of meaningful growth and swimming for miles? Whew. This is the new 2019 motto and ambition for the year. appreciated the simplicity of the article.


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