The Effects of Trauma from “Growing up Too Fast”

One of the most common euphemisms and justifications for a certain type of childhood trauma is “growing up too fast.” It is a euphemism because it is used to minimize the pain that the person felt as a child when their needs weren’t being met by describing it in seemingly neutral or even positive language. It’s a justification because it is often used to argue that growing up faster and becoming “mature beyond your years” is indeed a good thing.

We will explore and address all of this here.


5 Reasons Why People Stay Silent About Being Abused

"There are far too many silent sufferers. Not because they don't yearn to reach out, but because they've tried and found no one who cares." — Richelle E. Goodrich
People’s definition of ‘abuse’ varies, but all of us have experienced abuse at one point or another. For example, bullying, physical attacks, intimidation, neglect, emotional manipulation, verbal abuse, ganging up, triangulation, character assassination, etc., are all common and typical forms of abuse. People experience abuse in their relationships with their parents, siblings, other family members, teachers, peers, classmates, coworkers, friends, acquaintances, romantic partners, neighbors—anybody, really.


Setting Healthy Versus Unhealthy Boundaries in Toxic Relationships

This article is a continuation of my series on boundaries. It is strongly recommended to read the introductory article first before continuing with this article. Here’s the link: An Introduction To Boundaries and Why We Need Them.
To quickly summarize the definition, boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe, and permissible ways for other people to behave around them and how they will respond when someone steps outside those limits.
In this article, we will explore the differences between healthy and unhealthy boundaries, with examples.


Triangulation: The Narcissist’s Best Play

Within the vast catalogue of toxic behavior, triangulation is amongst the most well-known. It is very common, especially among narcissistically inclined individuals, and can be overt, or insidious, and many people don’t even realize they have been triangulated until it is too late. Indeed, those who regularly manipulate others will resort to triangulation because it is an easy, low cost but high yield behavior.


How Lack of Love in Childhood Robs Us of Love in Adulthood

Love is a feeling that motivates us and leads us to better ourselves and the lives of those around us. Love is closely related to things like joy, family, satisfaction, care, and love is something we all seek to embrace in our relationships with others.

Yet for many people, love is pain, love is grief, and seeking love with others only leads to more pain and more grief. Unfortunately, this is a seemingly inescapable cycle that you and...


How Narcissists Use Future Faking to Manipulate You

Future faking is one of the most prominent yet subtle tools used by people with strong narcissistic tendencies and other dark personality traits. Indeed, if you’ve had the misfortune to interact with a narcissist, you have certainly witnessed future faking in its most detrimental form. So what is future faking, how does it work, and what does it mean?
What Is Future Faking?
Future faking is when a person lies or promises something about your possible future...


Trust Issues That Arise from Childhood Trauma

If they are being honest, many people will say that they have trust issues. Issues trusting their partners, their parents, their bosses, and even themselves. Trust issues, indeed, heavily impact the most intimate of our relationships because these are the relationships that we are the most vulnerable in. They also impact our relationship with ourselves.

As a result, we may lie about who we are or our intentions, or we learned to withhold information and our true, genuine...


Using Euphemistic Language Obfuscates Abuse and Betrays Victims

Language as a Tool for Understanding and Denial
We conceptualize reality by using language. This means that we describe the world around us by using words. The more accurately we describe it, the more aligned our perception of the world is with actual reality. That’s why using language properly is important to a person’s mental health, and the words ‘insane’ or ‘crazy’ are used to describe someone who is out of touch with reality.