9 thoughts on “How to Encourage Resilience in Children

  • January 26, 2011 at 9:53 am

    Both my grown daughters (22& 26)are resilient and successful human beings. i strove to meet life’s ups and downs with “I need a solution.” they watched me handle things big and small without drama. i felt as their role model if i became unhinged it would leave them feeling insecure. in that way without knowing it i instilled face the challenge. Then do not fall apart. Brain storm until a solution is found. my youngest last August decided to move to New York City. she was raised in a small town in Texas. she packed her car and went. I gave her emotional support for decisions and challenges she faced. she handled it all completely subways, crowds housing… at six months she decided she had enough and returned to Texas. What a fantastic young woman she is.

    Reply
    • January 26, 2011 at 3:44 pm

      Mary,

      Thanks for the comment and sharing your experience. It sounds like you offered great support and encouragement to your daughters. You are right that parents are models for there children. As long as we take this responsibility and stay emotionally supportive and loving we are on the right track.

      Reply
  • January 26, 2011 at 2:45 pm

    Thanks for your blog. All good ideas, but what about the persistently negative child?

    We have a 5 yo son who could be defined this way, and after I recently read the book “Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking” by Tamar E. Chansky, I started talking to him about having a “positive brain” and a “negative brain.” This seems to have helped, but I would love any practical suggestions you could provide for instilling resilience in a pessimistic child. Thank you!

    Reply
    • January 26, 2011 at 3:42 pm

      Hi,

      Thanks for commenting. This is a great question. It can be tough to break out of a negative attitude. Even when they do something great and as a parent you tell them so, they may not be willing to accept the compliment or see the positive side. One way to build optimism and resilience is through helping children understand what they have control over and what they don’t. This awareness can help them see what areas they need to focus their attention and energy on. As well, helping a kid to accept credit where credit is due. They may need to know that their success is based on their own efforts and ability. If they don’t see this it’s hard to feel good about things.

      Reply
  • March 2, 2011 at 9:02 am

    I think I was a negative kid too! I think that if someone else acknowledged a crummy situation (empathy) but then asked me since we can’t make the situation perfect, how can we make it better?–it would have been helpful. Feeling like a parent was a partner in these situations helped. Eventually, I didn’t need the assistance. There is always a danger as a parent to give the message of “cheer up” when the child has a reasonable reaction to a bad situation.

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    • March 2, 2011 at 11:15 am

      Hi,

      Great feedback and insight! It’s definitely important to validate a child’s feelings. Feelings are not right or wrong, but we can learn to have a choice in how we respond and behave. I think this is an important message to send to children. It’s okay for parents to be an aid to children and help them along, until eventually the child is able to do these things are their own. Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
  • October 29, 2011 at 4:15 pm

    It great to see more and more people starting to expand and move towards a growth mindset and away from a fixed mindset which has been prevalent over the last 20 years through the unintended consequences of political correctness.

    A growth mindset not only impacts on education but has an impact on business, sports and the community at large and provides a positive benefit to all.

    Reply
  • August 29, 2018 at 10:43 am

    My developer is trying to persuade me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using WordPress on several websites for about a year and am worried about switching to another platform. I have heard very good things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can import all my wordpress content into it? Any kind of help would be really appreciated!

    Reply
 

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