13 thoughts on “18 Characteristics of Codependents and 9 Truths to Support Recovery

  • January 8, 2020 at 4:25 am

    You described my childhood & codependent self. I will practice the 9 truths. Thank you for the enlightenment.

    Reply
    • January 9, 2020 at 12:03 am

      Hi Elaine… It’s horrible that innocent children are treated so poorly. But as adults, there’s hope. While most people believe that we’re simply born with strong boundaries and healthy self-esteem, the truth is, those are things we acquire in response to our childhood conditioning. This means we can re-program/re-parent ourselves to healthier boundaries and self-esteem. Keep sticking to self-work and you’ll get there! I’ll be posting more strategies during the week.

      ~ Carmen

      Reply
  • January 8, 2020 at 5:13 am

    Thank you for your information on narcissist behavior. I need all that you can tell me about it.

    Reply
    • January 9, 2020 at 12:09 am

      Hi Joni. I’ll be posting plenty of information, case studies, and Q&As about Narcissistic Personality Disorder and surviving narcissistic abuse.

      In the meantime, I invite you to my podcast “Choose You! Breaking Free From Narcissistic Abuse” at https://carmensakurai.com/chooseyou/. Available on iTunes, Spotify, and on your favorite podcast app.

      ~ Carmen

      Reply
  • January 8, 2020 at 9:20 am

    This is so very helpful, thank you!

    Reply
    • January 9, 2020 at 12:12 am

      I’m pleased to know you found this helpful, Olivia. More information will be added throughout the week.

      ~ Carmen

      Reply
  • January 8, 2020 at 11:02 am

    I was stuck. I would speak up and still sometimes get behavior that is not acceptable or mean. The problem wasn’t speaking up, just that what I said was disregarded. When it comes to family or some co`workers we can’t walk always away. I’ve never been the time to run quickly anyway. Maybe some days I should walk away .
    What I learned is that speaking up does not cause things to change when you’re dealing with fools or difficult people. Those who are adjusted mentally will let up. Period.

    Reply
    • January 9, 2020 at 12:26 am

      Hi Faith. You have the right idea. There’s no point in speaking-up/explaining to those who have already decided to treat you with disrespect, no matter what. And it applies to family, romantic relationships, friends, coworkers, etc.

      This is where your boundaries are supposed to shield you. If anyone deliberately tries to make you feel uncomfortable for the sake of feeding their own ego, know that their issues are not your problem. You don’t have to catch a ball just because someone throws it at you… simply decide “Nope, not gonna play your twisted game” and remove yourself (physically and/or mentally) from that toxic space.

      You deserve to feel happy, respected, and safe.

      ~ Carmen

      Reply
  • January 10, 2020 at 10:19 am

    Great overview and clear explanations of the cause and effects of codependency. Your conclusion points to the work of re-framing false beliefs created as kids that keep us stuck in adulthood. Nice work Carmen!

    Reply
    • January 11, 2020 at 6:51 pm

      Yes! Thank you so much, Todd!

      ~ Carmen

      Reply
  • January 10, 2020 at 9:03 pm

    Thank you for sharing that.

    Reply
    • January 11, 2020 at 6:52 pm

      You’re very welcome 🙂

      ~ Carmen

      Reply
  • January 13, 2020 at 6:26 pm

    I am an evolving God-made creature, free, self controlled, open to the lessons of the Universe. I try hard to live truthfully from the heart and definately do not please people or seek compliments. I have learned to ignore criticism from an early age. I also met many friends with psychological and bipolar disorders. My culture believes that we have more than one life. Karma or fate awaits you after death. Live with bliss, goodness and duty.according to your ability and circumstances.

    Reply
 

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