I didn't give the fear time to pass. Instead, I sat, waited, and got angry at myself. I sat, waited, and wondered why I wasn't calming down as quickly as I wanted to be. I sat, waited, and grew flustered as my body continued its jet stream of adrenaline rushes and wooziness.
Panic is fluid. It's not always a linear equation where Y follows X. It ebbs and it flows. It changes over time.
Where was this coming from? I hadn't even been feeling scared or anxious! I was dancing, enjoying myself, and spending time with my family-to-be.
Watch as I explain why I do what I do and why I feel so comfortable sharing all of my panic and anxiety-related sorrows, triumphs, dilemmas, and baby steps with the world.
Tell your story. Share your experience. Mental health affects everything we do.
There wasn't a single place I could go during a rainstorm and feel safe. There wasn't a single place in that damn office where I could allow my panicky feelings to de-escalate.
Each downpour filled the entire office with an ambient white noise that spiked my adrenaline level. When it rained, I couldn't sit still.
Instead of paying attention to my breath or my heart, we paid attention to a raisin.