One thought on “On Death Upon Death

  • May 21, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    I have just today discovered your blog. Thank you! I feel so isolated and alienated (in the beginning of this “off” phase, it was purely unwarranted. I admit, I’ve joined in and acted out. Frustration and devastation will do that,I guess. If that’s what you think of me (unworthy and horrible),then I will show you that exactly.) After my mother died unexpectedly, my world was turned over and stomped on. I wont get into the MANY details of just how much devastation that followed, but it hasn’t been good. I’ve battled an anxiety disorder along with depression nearly all of my life. It’s only shown outwardly in the last decade or so. My thoughts while reading your entry were of how in the nearly 3 years since Mom’s death, I’ve not been allowed to curl up and grieve. As my mental health has declined, I’ve had more people suddenly present accusing me of laziness and being childish and wanting no responsibility. It couldn’t be farther from the truth. The reality is that my mind doesn’t cooperate sometimes. I’ve been ridiculed at every job that I’ve attempted due to my inability to focus and dyslexia with numbers. I am exhausted. I am physically unwell due to the extra worry of being labeled with more “issues”, especially those that are just not true. I’m a single mother. My mother was my co parent and best friend. (I am 41 yrs old, my child is 8) I am learning to live with no one to talk to after a tough day, but I have only now realized that I’ve not been allowed to grieve or process ANY OF our losses due to the opinions of these intolerant people around me…. and that’s not ok!

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