9 thoughts on “3 Ways to Impress Your Therapist

  • September 12, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    Agree with all points. As a client who does her homework, my therapist and I always make sure that the assigned HW is relevant and appropriate to current therapy goals.Without homework. making progress in therapy would go slowly, at a snail’s pace. HW allows quiet, focused time for me to address current issues and goals.I would recommend to those clients interested, to request homework and work with your therapist to create good assignments that help you progress and not to stay stagnate for those in-between session days.Good luck– and thanks, Kylie, for a great article.

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    • September 12, 2012 at 10:04 pm

      Thankyou, I’m glad you enjoyed my article. And congratulations for working hard at your homework. It can be difficult to keep at it, but those who do are most likely to see the rewards. And as you say, you don’t want to stagnate or move at a snails pace and homework allows you to avoid those things. All the best, Kylie.

      Reply
  • September 12, 2012 at 3:42 pm

    ..great article.. BUT what happens when your therapist continually forgets what ‘homework’ he has given you ??? He always waits for me to bring it up. If I don’t then its never discussed. Right now at the stage I’m at in my therapy I feel I need to be doing it for someone else thats interested as well as for myself.While fully inderstanding ( to the best of my knowledge)the relationship between the therapist and the client, it would be nice to feel that there is some continutity in that he remembers my ‘ story’ and remembers what he has said and where we are at…. I understand that I need to move forward on my own, but I need him to facilitate the transistion. and YES I have told him this and how it effects me, but he just laughs… don’t tell me to find a new therapist, its a big effort to build that relationship….

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    • September 12, 2012 at 10:09 pm

      I’m sorry to hear your therapy situation. It sounds as if your therapist isn’t as concerned about your needs as he should be. While it would be an effort to build a relationship with someone new, it also sounds as if you’re unhappy with this relationship. I wish you all the best in resolving this dilemma.

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  • September 12, 2012 at 11:32 pm

    Sorry this is loooong. but it’s a lot shorter than it was when i first wrote it!

    I understand a patient must cooperate with her therapist; however, what no one seems to recognize is that sometimes a patient is incapable of doing that. When I first started seeing my therapist I was severely depressed, feeling totally worthless and hopeless. I was also angry, very angry.

    It was obvious I was having serious problems at work. It took a while to dig out what was behind the anger. Most of it was rooted in what I perceived of as everyone’s inability to recognize my intellectual superiority, their refusal to cherish every word of wisdom I spoke, their being too stupid to follow my thoughts as I jumped from problem to solution at warp speed (grandiosity anyone?) The combination of that anger with the depression and the inability to get any work done much less do it well, was more than enough to cause serious workplace problems. Of course, it’s easy to see this as a bipolar mixed state, but it wasn’t at the time.

    Taking all this together, it took a long time for me to get to the point where I could accept anyone as being able to help me; therefore, when I started getting homework I ignored it. For a long time I was in some weird place where I knew I needed help but was positive no one could be smart enough to help me. (Denial is not a river in Egypt.)

    A year or so later, after a few rides on the med merry-go- round, I finally started slowly cooperating with my therapist. About a year later I had a crisis, was hospitalized, and Seroquel was added to the Wellbutrin and Lamictal mix. Everything fell into place, and I later wrote: “Always looking to something, someone to save me, i learned it was me.
    Always seeking someone to care for me, that was also me. Always yearning for someone to love me, that, also, was me. When i was able to save myself, i was saved. When i experienced every fear, faced every demon, removed every mask, lifted my bowed head to reveal my truth, i learned it was enough.”

    I finally realized I had to fix me; no one could do the inner work for me. I stopped making excuses and started cooperating. Thank God my therapist was patient with me. She later told me she realized early on I didn’t think she was smart enough to help me and she recognized this as my illness, not me. She also saw progress, albeit slow. She’d take a step, wait for me to catch up, and then take another.

    Sometimes we patients don’t make the conscious choice to not cooperate; sometimes we simply aren’t able to.

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    • September 12, 2012 at 11:41 pm

      well said Christine. your comment really helped me think about my situation… Thankyou .. Clement

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    • September 13, 2012 at 5:43 am

      Christine,
      Your comment is the story of my life, and I couldn’t have written it better myself. Like you I was and am always seeking someone to save me. While my head knows that I have to be my own savior, like a sickness I’m always seeking external satisfaction. There is nothing more satisfying than to have someone else worrying about me like a mother, even though at some level I know I need to take care of myself.
      Your quote made it to my diary:

      “Always looking to something, someone to save me, i learned it was me.
      Always seeking someone to care for me, that was also me. Always yearning for someone to love me, that, also, was me. When i was able to save myself, i was saved. When i experienced every fear, faced every demon, removed every mask, lifted my bowed head to reveal my truth, i learned it was enough.”

      I finally realized I had to fix me; no one could do the inner work for me. I stopped making excuses and started cooperating. Thank God my therapist was patient with me.”
      Thanks for the long and thoughtful comment.

      Reply
  • September 29, 2012 at 10:22 am

    Wow, Christine. I learned a lot by reading your comment. So glad you– and your therapist– persevered through such rough times.I’ve always found it helpful to know that my therapist believes in me, in my ability to get through this or that. I had moved halfway around the world for some years and when I repatriated and sought more therapy, I still found that trust and faith, that I have what it takes to instill change. Powerful.

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  • January 19, 2013 at 1:10 am

    Hi Kylie,
    Thanks for the article, I am having a few difficultues in therapy and was wondering what you meant by the line: ‘In fact if your goal is to impress your therapist, you might want to rethink why you’re in therapy in the first place’.
    I think one of the reasons therapy isn’t working for me right now is because I am very concerned with impressing my therapist. What does this mean, and should i stop continuing therapy or see a different councellor?
    (any tips about getting over this would be great as well:) )

    Reply
 

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