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Coping Strategies

Reasons Not To Call A Mistake A Failure

I worded the title of this blog to capture the attention of people who do believe their mistakes are failures, but in all honesty, I don't believe mistakes are failures. And I'd like to explain to you my reasoning for that plus in a future blog give you some tips on coping with perceptions of failure. For now I just want to convince you that using the word failure, for any reason,...
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Attitudes Towards Life

Reasons To Love Your Life

You know, I imagine that anyone reading this blog questions whether they love their life. If you love your life then why read a blog on reasons to love it, right? I mean you already have the answers.

I'm not talking about a lust for life. And by lust I mean getting caught up in short bursts of excitement and adrenaline. I'm not talking about the feeling of love that ebbs and flows (although, the...
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Over-Thinking

Stuck In An Over-Thinking Rut?


I don’t know about you but I’m an over-thinker. I like to think. I like to ponder.  I'm an intellectual, and intellectuals think the answer to every problem lies in how they think about that problem. As I've grown older,  a double-edged sword, I've realized this is not true. But even so, old habits are hard to break and when there’s a problem in my life sometimes I can’t stop my brain is...
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Dysfunctional Therapy

10 Signs You Need A Different Therapist


 

There are some circumstances where a client should find a new therapist. And by therapist I mean a mental health therapist. I understand how difficult it is being a client in a new therapeutic relationship. There’s all that talking; bringing up the past, bringing up the present, talking about fears for the future. It’s hard. It’s tiring. And when you think you’ve shared it all… your therapist wants clarification. They ask you questions because...
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Psychotherapy & Counseling

3 Ways to Impress Your Therapist

Therapists aren’t allowed to have favorite clients. Nope. All therapists must remain objective and give the same basic types of attitudes to every single client, such as:

Unconditional Positive Regard
Empathic Listening
Warmth
Compassion
Genuineness

In fact if your goal is to impress your therapist, you might want to rethink why you’re in therapy in the first place. Therapists have flaws, and are just as human as the rest of the population…unless you’re an academic psychologist, those guys are...
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Depression

3 Symptoms Of Depression That Require A Doctor, Not A Psychologist

My personal stance on taking medication for illnesses like depression and anxiety tends to change from client to client. For some clients I suggest they might find medication useful. For instance, a client that is debilitated by depression and anxiety to the point where they don’t even want to try therapeutic techniques, needs pharmaceutical help. A client that seems to be functioning well intellectually and shows motivation to change and has the internal...
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Goal Setting

Be SMART: Set SMART Goals

I hope you’re snuggled up on a couch somewhere, or maybe still in bed with a cup of steaming coffee (I’m a tea girl myself). This is my third post with Psych Central and I hope to get your neurons firing and thoughts buzzing, I’ve decided to post on one of my favourite topics. Goal Achievement. Does that make me boring? Probably. However, when I start seeing a client the first thing I do is gauge how likely they are to commit to the goals they set in therapy. Why? Because therapy is not a passive activity, it’s an active one that takes work, dedication and commitment. There’s a common saying that anything worth having, takes work, and boy do I believe it! Think of a time in the past when you had a goal set, you were working towards it and then it seemed to become less important and before long it faded into the background behind all the other things in life. One day you realize that you failed to achieve the goal you set and you berate yourself for not being more dedicated. You begin to make conclusions about yourself and have thoughts such as: ‘I don’t’ have what it takes.’ ‘I can’t do this.’ ‘I’m a failure.’ ‘I’m hopeless at sticking with a goal.’ You might even look at the people around you who were succeeding in their goal setting and you wondered why you didn’t have that secret formula. It’s true that some people are more motivated, ambitious and conscientious, but that doesn’t mean that they use some magic formula to achieve their goals, it just means they have traits that are more conducive to achieving them. And trust me, if they don’t plan to achieve their goals, they won’t achieve them either. Luckily, I can give you the formula that those magically gifted people are most likely using. Learn The Formula Here
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Men and Emotions

How Men Deal With Women’s Emotions (Men and Guilt) Part 2

  Believe it or not, men tend to feel responsible for a lot, and until you probe the depths of their minds (good luck), you’re probably unaware of it. The topics that guys don’t want to talk about are usually the topics that need discussion. And once again, I’m not trying to say all men, just a vast majority. When a woman brings up ‘the talk’, which usually means going into an in-depth discussion about feelings and relationship processes, guys seem to cower. I mean literally; you can see them squirming in their seats sometimes. Or, if you’ve got something to complain about, depending on the type of man you’re with, they may become defensive, yell at you and try to turn the conversation back on you. Or you’ll get the nod-and-apologize response. Both ways aren’t helpful and leave the women thinking, “Did they really understand what I just said?” Read More Here
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Communication

How Men Deal With Women’s Emotions (Men and Crying) Part 1


My female clients often complain to me that their husband/boyfriend doesn’t understand their needs. And to be honest, I’ve experienced similar things in my own past relationships. In order to address that though, I would sit my partner down and explain to them what it is I needed from them.

Sometimes this was met with understanding and receptivity, thank goodness, and sometimes it wasn’t (those ones probably didn’t last long).

Regardless of how your man responds,...
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