Hello. My name is Amanda, and I have trouble controlling what I eat.
That may sound a bit like we are at an AA meeting or some other Anonymous function, and maybe that’s appropriate. While I wouldn’t exactly call myself a compulsive eater, I really do struggle with it, and I have for as long as I can remember.
I would like to say that I remember when this whole problem started (when I reached 100 lbs for the first time,) but I actually remember having a weird relationship with food even before then.
I would like to be able to introduce myself and my struggles with a simple explanation, but when it comes to food, nothing is simple, and nothing is easy to understand. For me at least.
And so that’s why I decided to start this blog. I am trying to become healthier. Both physically and psychologically. And that can’t be done until I finally start to reconcile my relationship with food. I would like to do this silently and in private and simply, but that’s just not how I work. I am a writer, and I find the most meaning in my struggles when I share them with others.
And so that’s what I’m trying to do here. I am hoping that by sharing my journey to health with all of you that we can find a community of women and men that we can share the triumphs and pitfalls with.
It’s never fun to do it alone.
But as a warning, this is not a diet (hence the title of this blog!) and this is not a dieting blog. This is a blog about making peace with our struggles over food. It’s about putting food and appetite in their proper places in our lives. It’s about finding peace. A peace we deserve. And it’s about learning to use food to fuel out bodies rather than to hide from our feelings.
Diets don’t work. Sure you can lose weight on them. Sure they can give you temporary relief. Sure they can make you feel like you are making progress. But until those underlying feelings are dealt with and until we make permanent lifestyle changes rather than temporary eating adjustments, we will never find peace with food, our weight, or our place in the world.
So if this is something you struggle with, I hope you will join me on this journey. I hope we can work together to find the peace we so desperately deserve. And I hope we can finally let food and our choices around it be choices that we are proud of and that lead us to where we want to be.
Come with me on this journey. It’s sure to be a wild ride!