5 thoughts on “Worse than Bullying: Effects of Sibling Rivalry Can Last a Lifetime

  • December 8, 2013 at 6:01 pm

    This is a lesson that took all my life (69 years) to learn. I was the oldest and had to be there for my younger brother. Even on our mother’s death bed, she reminded me to take care of him (67). I tried to help him and his wife financially and they ended up swindling thousands from me with a promise to pay it back. They conveniently filed bankruptcy and laughed in my face. Now I am bankrupt. Fool that I am for believing we should be close and help each other.

  • July 1, 2015 at 11:03 am

    I have a Sister who was violent to all her siblings growing up and has continued to be verbally violent into adulthood. I know in my case it has caused depression, low self esteem, problems with trust. I was not able to stand up for myself to anyone until recently (10 years) except I still couldn’t stand up to her until a couple days ago. She cornered my at a family get together and accused me and other family members of the most vile acts (all untrue) I blew it !!! I lost control of my emotions that have built up for over forty years and I let her have it(verbally). I know there will be repercussions for standing up to her, it’s just a matter of when and how bad. The sad thing is, she is 57 and im 52. This should be happening at our age

    • May 12, 2016 at 4:38 pm

      I have recently realized that I have been in this type of situation my entire life. Except now not only do I receive it from my sibling, but from his wife too. The worst part is that the few times that I say ANYTHING and it’s not well received I can expect repercussions. And it’s true, it’s only a matter of when, how bad, and in what way. The waiting makes it so much worse. I am currently on the side of paying for a joke I made about 3 weeks ago. Every single time, even though I expect it, it is like being hit by a truck. Cutting those family members is so difficult and painful.

  • December 29, 2017 at 3:14 am

    I can’t believe the psychological community is so far behind on this. Why are these ‘surprising results’? How could anyone think that consistently getting beat up, threatened, and intimidated by a close family member during one’s crucial formative years could lead to anything good, later in life?? And why does ‘bullying on the schoolyard’ get more attention than this? Ask anyone that’s been through both types and they will tell you instantly that being bullied/abused by a sibling is far and away more traumatizing…especially when it gets minimized by parents, the media, and psychologist, who use minimizing words like ‘sibling rivalry’ and ‘negative interactions between siblings’. Call it what it is. Kids know right from wrong at an early age, that’s why so much of it goes on behind closed doors and usually ends with something like, “Don’t tell mom and dad”.

  • October 22, 2019 at 1:45 am

    Be governed by the love and peace in your own life. Go for full reconciliation of tough relationships to get love and peace back into your life. But if love and peace means a clean cut from the toxic sibling that remains unchanged or unrepentant, you better do it OR YOU WILL BE POISONED DEAD. “Blood is thicker than water” ought not be the licence to wreak havoc or inflict pain to the innocent.

    Remember this also, nobody truly understands your situation and many offer “professional” advice until they themselves go through the same. So be wise (by the inner knower or God in you), take a stand for yourself even if no one approved it.

    Above all – for those who believe in God, prayers offer the best healing of all kinds and best answers to every relational issue. In. His. Time. It certainly did to my decade-long broken, dysfunctional and estranged relationship with my verbally-abusive dad. I ended up being instrumental to his salvation in Christ. What an amazing God!


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