5 thoughts on “Are You a Gossip? (and How to Stop Being One if You Are!)

  • May 1, 2019 at 8:19 am

    As a Muslim, I see parallels in your (briliantly-worded) definition of gossip and our concept of backbiting, which is a serious sin in Islam. As Allah mentioned in the Qur’aan over 1400 years ago: “Oh you who believe, stay away from much of suspicion; indeed after suspicion is sin. And do not spy and do not backbite about one another. Would any one of you love to eat the dead flesh of his brother? Surely you would hate it. And fear Allah, indeed Allah is Oft-Returning, Merciful” (49:12).

    So from this we learn that a key factor in avoiding gossip and backbiting is stopping it in its first stage—suspicious thoughts about others. We must check ourselves and question why we think what we do. More importantly, we should think before we speak, and never allow thoughts about others to become words, where we can never take them back.

    Thank you for the article; I will be applying these tips and others so that I can work on my tendencies to gossip in time for Ramadan (the month where Muslims work on character reform and God-consciousness)!

    Reply
  • May 1, 2019 at 8:34 am

    I have confronted a few gossips.

    Instead of cowering in shame, they act entitled to share their “truth” to others.

    A few years later, the gossips who “heard” that I was having financial trouble or marital issues…..

    Lo & behold, these very gossips who want to bring themselves up by tearing me down:

    these gossips soon thereafter got divorced, lost their homes in foreclosure, filed for bankruptcy—sometimes all three!!!

    And unlike these gossips who “heard” that I have lots of “issues;

    their divorce, foreclosed home, bankruptcy, DWI—ALL a matter of public record!

    So gossips gossip to distract attention from their own issues. It is projection in its purest form.

    And I admit, I never gossip because that’s classless and trashy—I do feel schadenfreude when these gossips came for me. Karma gets them every time!

    Just sit back. Don’t defend. In a few years, the gossip’s world will come crashing down and they will be tormented by their paranoia that others are indeed talking about them!

    Reply
  • May 1, 2019 at 10:34 am

    Excellent article- thank you!! I try not to gossip but see i do if even not meaning harm. I will correct this. You helped me see this- thank you..

    Reply
  • May 1, 2019 at 3:26 pm

    If I wouldn’t say it TO them, I don’t say it ABOUT them.

    Reply
  • May 2, 2019 at 8:49 am

    Just knowing I’m doing this is helpful. Is there a compassionate response I can give to those who come to me with gossip?
    Nearly everyone I know gossips but some are more frequent ‘fliars’.

    Reply
 

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