28 thoughts on “10 Signs You Have Trust Issues and How to Begin Healing

  • November 29, 2016 at 12:28 pm

    Great article..well artculated

  • November 30, 2016 at 12:19 pm

    Great article.. This piece hits home several points of my own trust issues after a ‘betrayal’ I experienced as a teenager (not by family, but a friend) and the steps I know I need to take to heal. These trust issues lay dormant/passive for several years, but for the past 2 years it has been negatively affecting new intimate relationships I’ve recently begun to explore. I wish I could learn to trust again.

    • September 24, 2018 at 3:23 am

      I can completely relate it to my trust issues. I know I have a wonderful partner now but due to a bad past I don’t open up myself to him although I want to submit myself to him.

  • November 30, 2016 at 8:12 pm

    The reactions of not being able to trust – borderline came to mind. Yes or no?

    Thanks for a great article!

    • December 1, 2016 at 9:33 am

      Yes, I also thought of people with BPD. I believe myself to have many BPD-like traits (although I am not diagnosed), such as: rapidly changing mood swing, fear of abandonment, splitting, all-or-nothing thinking, and paranoia especially with the person (or people) I care about the most.

      It’s a cruel disorder as it makes one incapable of loving another properly and even less capable of accepting love.

    • December 1, 2016 at 1:51 pm

      Agree totally. Am also self diagnosed as having many borderline traits. Am diagnosed as PTSD but that’s because of trust issues, which prevented sharing deeply with the professional. And what does that make me?

      Crave love but difficult to love – have love to give but don’t know how, what could be a worse lifelong curse? And even betrayed by your own gut instinct. Wonder what we did in our last lives to deserve this:-)

      • December 2, 2016 at 9:08 pm

        Angele: Your last sentence struck a cord with me. I say that to myself all the time & I am not quite sure I believe in past lives. But, if they [past lives] do exist, I am sure I have done something really bad.

  • December 1, 2016 at 1:39 am

    Trust or Mistrust ?

    Authority v non authority ?

    These are life’s questions .

  • December 1, 2016 at 5:44 am

    I have gone past self sabotage & I am now my own prisoner. My trust issues began at 5 yrs old & I am now 40. I can’t list all that has contributed to this issue as there’s too much. All I know is is that I have isolated myself away from the world. I am safe behind my walls both emotionally &mentally . 3yrs I’ve been trying to sort myself out but I have difficulty with motivation & staying focused & I just slip into an idle state of mind because I just can’t or don’t want to ‘think’ anymore. I even have difficulty trusting my own child & that hurts. My trust issues are debilitating & ruining my life.

    • December 5, 2017 at 4:59 am

      This is me and my circumstance greatly. Abused from age of 2 onward, constant neglect and abuse. It set me up for bad choices in relationships, and a lifetime of mental anguish and failed relationships. Therapy never worked for me.

  • February 22, 2017 at 8:50 pm

    And what if you refuse to do #1? What if you refuse to risk the hurt?
    What do you do then?

    • December 5, 2017 at 5:00 am

      I just question why we have to hurt at all. Our creator has a personality disorder, narcissist.

  • June 16, 2017 at 4:52 pm

    Trust is wanting to protect a safe zone.
    We live in world that whittles the safe zone away. I have had so many violations by strangers, so called friends, work and family, I just have a “trust earned policy” now.
    I work at a high security state prison and am unable to risk my safe zone.

    It is frustrating and drains you emotionally to see how painful this characteristic is.

    Now I know the last line of defense is simply to become alright with losing what ever you are protecting.

    Why is that item, feeling or thing so important and should we gear ourselves to allowing letting go notas painful as holding on is.

    Accept that from the moment you leave the womb — you are on your own and open to loss. I had caring parents but maybe we need to be trained that — that is a short term situation. You rarely will encounter a relationship that will not hurt.

    Peace and happiness be with you.

    • December 5, 2017 at 5:02 am

      This is a sad statement of our existence at all. What was our creator thinking?

  • October 30, 2017 at 11:42 pm

    Yeah I looked this up cuz I was curious if my recent habit of occasional sudden thoughts of people in school randomly pushing me off stairs or punching or stabbing my eyes or slamming me against a brick wall or, ouch, punching my neck and I just suddenly covering, guarding, or rubbing whatever part I though of others injuring or being prepared to counter being shoved off the stairs and imagining the pain of these injuries as I walk to my next classes in school had anything to do with this. Cuz I’ve never been physically abused at home (only mentally) or bullied in school. But it seems this lines up more than I thought. I don’t really talk to other kids much cuz ik they just want to be proud and brag about hearing me speak and being my friend, that’s all most of them do. Ah, well, except I’m aro+ace so I can’t relate to the romantic love thing, I’ve never been in a relationship nor am I interested. Tho I have 5 siblings that I deeply trust and care for and ik they feel the same way “:D I just never felt like I fit in in school or even online but like I just keep telling myself I don’t care so I don’t care. I kinda prefer it this way. I have one friend in school that I like, she kinda stuck with me when I expected she’d leave like the next day. It’s always that way tho, so obviously I’d expect it. Aaagh I just hope that this minor trust issues thing doesn’t destroy my life- I can trust people if I deem them worthy! I think I’m alright. I have my siblings after all. I just don’t understand how I became this way..? Eh, I’ll just do more research, srry I typed so much.

    • November 4, 2017 at 2:50 pm

      I dealing with trust issues as an adult. And yes what you are going through could begin this cycle. Please try to talk to a guidance counselor. Let him know what is going on.

    • February 18, 2018 at 10:47 am

      Just wanted to say that you never have to apologize for “typing too much”. This is your time and your space and feel free to get it all out, no matter how much time it takes 🙂

      And like “Feeling the Same” said, try talking to a guidance counselor. And like this article says, try taking a risk and talking to the other kids even though they seem like they only want to brag…they might be covering up how they really feel and acting like this as a result, you know? You probably have a ton of cool and interesting things about you that they won’t get to know about if you don’t talk to them…try taking a risk and being who you are rather than not. And if they show their face, and really are crappy, then so be it. That’s them, not you. And try the next person. I try this myself, and yes, it stings when people are crappy, but I try to tell myself that I’m a good person and that person is just that person and I move on. This has been the only way to get past the trust issues I had in school and later in life. Like you, I always had my siblings, so that totally helped me know that I could be trusted and that I can trust others…like, it actually is possible, you know? Keep going! I hope this helps you a little 🙂

  • December 31, 2017 at 4:02 pm

    Just starting to fully face head on my trust issues at 50 years of age. My mother was a chronic liar. She passed over 3 years ago and I am still finding her lies. Found out this year she hid the truth of who my biological father was. Letting me believe it was a man that in her words “never really loved me.” Mom lies stack so high there is no way she could keep track of them. Dealt with being sexually abused and having it blamed on me, even though I was only 5 or 6 years old.
    I married a man that was hidden porn addict, so more years and years of lies.
    There is not a man on this planet I trust to leave a child alone with. Even my own 3 beautiful sons. It is consuming me…

  • January 22, 2018 at 3:57 am

    you know who the worst person to cause you trust issues is
    a counsellor or therapist, it sucks
    even worse than parents
    so now whenever I think about going to counsellors/ therapists I immediately dismiss the idea as well as having the normal friendship issues

    on a different note, I think that when we dismiss enough friendship/relationship opportunities we are no longer pulled into them

  • May 3, 2018 at 1:30 pm

    I have several trust issues bc all of what the article describes. I’m in a relationship currently and don’t want to lose my partner bc of my trust issues. I’m looking for healing and couching with my issue. He wants to support me but I need extra support from someone who really understands in fully my problem. I just want to be happy and have a happy life with him and a stable and healthy relationship. Please if someone can help me leave a comment here in order for me to get in touch and start having support that way I can beat up this issue which is blocking me from been successful in my life. Thanks.


    • September 16, 2018 at 11:51 pm

      Hi Kathy, I’m going through the same. We can talk.

    • February 2, 2019 at 8:41 pm

      Hi Kathy!
      I am not a professional. But talking about it might help even just a little. Feel free to talk to me. I hope to hear from you soon! 🙂

  • October 1, 2018 at 9:00 pm

    I have some trust issues, but right now, I just really need to get this project finished and turned in.

  • October 5, 2018 at 6:09 am

    Yes, it’s hard to deal with trust issues especially after a betrayal. It definitely needs patience and perseverance in the part of the one who betrayed or cheated if he or she still wants the relationship to work out.

  • December 9, 2018 at 3:46 am

    I used to be open minded but was betrayed by my best friend….now I have serious trust issues…i don’t trust people anymore…

  • January 8, 2019 at 2:57 am

    I feel so lonely sometimes and idk why. My confidence fluctuatates between great to non existent so quickly it doesn’t make sense. I feel like I try so hard in everything g but than just feel like there have been so many missed opportunities. I relate with #7 from this article so much, Ik my gf wouldn’t do anything but when she doesn’t respond to my text I can’t help but think she doesn’t want to talk to me. And when she’s late from going out, we have a 1 am policy for going out (we go to different unversities and are long distance) I only think that she’s doing something that’s shes not supposed to. It’s so infuriating to think about bc she has done nothing wrong but it’s where my mind goes. We have had some intimacy issues as well, I love her so freakin much but when we see each other whenever we get the chance it’s like I’m just a friend and we don’t do anything intimate. Idk what else to do I don’t want to lose her she’s such a wonderful and amazing person. But I’m so afraid and scared that I’ll lose her and be so utterly lonely without her in my life

  • February 21, 2019 at 3:29 pm

    Trust issues stem from an inability to imagine a favorable situation as well I think.


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