24 thoughts on “Four Signs that You’re too Smart to Fit In

  • October 12, 2015 at 8:02 pm

    Well spoken, Mike. Mahalo for this article and the fab group!

    Reply
  • October 19, 2015 at 9:16 am

    Hi, Mike. I enjoy your posts. Re; this one, I think you are leaving out a very important factor. Plenty of people are very smart, but if they lack emotional intelligence, they have a big tendency to overlook the important info.

    I see this in my own family. My sister knows everything. She could be a doctor, without a degree, but she has no common sense, and makes the same mistakes over and over, never seeing the pattern. Both sides of the brain have to be working in order to create that beautiful critical thinker. Just my opinion. Thanks. PKD

    Reply
    • March 12, 2019 at 11:03 pm

      That’s a beautiful opinion. However, I believe the author’s claim stands. Here is my process:

      -You = Your Concious = Your mind TRUE

      ?) Body is Temporary —> separate from Your Mind TRUE

      -Mind is forever, IF Body could exist for infinite Time, THEN comprehensible emotions would not exist

      So…

      – Body = Vessel of Mind to Existance TRUE

      I wish I could share more thoughts but I’d be here all day

      Reply
    • March 22, 2019 at 2:01 am

      On the contrary, perhaps she is actually more intelligent than you give her credit for. In fact, aren’t we all subject to making “bad decisions” that may seem contrary to “common sense”? Absolutely, intelligent or not. Why? Because the idea of a “bad” decision as opposed to a good is subjective. To you it is bad; to her it may be the better. Perhaps it’s more comfortable for her to know the outcome. Perhaps she has weighed the benefits vs. the costs, much like you or I in deciding to eat dessert, and has come to the conclusion that the “bad” end is worth the “good” means. (pun intended) Choosing one alternative over another isn’t necessarily ignorant. Yes, it may be the result of a lack of information or understanding, or it may simply be your subjective evaluation of the situation…hmm… 🙂

      Reply
  • December 1, 2015 at 10:58 am

    Thank you for this article Mike. I got something out of this, mainly #2. It was #3 that allowed myself to relax and pat myself on the back. I love epistemic conversations. I want to thank you for the “Meta Model” link. I’ve never come across this before… In the mean time, I’ve been using the prerequisite placements and their core meanings of tarot card spreads (though I don’t use tarot cards at all) to ask the questions surrounding a variable’s ambience and or aesthetic qualities — that could represent the subtleties of their nuances within a replicate model — in order to distinguish vital characteristics of it’s original essence. It’s been a superb tool I’ve used to come up with varying analogies. Anyway…now I’M rambling and …..need to get back out, shoveling snow. 😉

    Reply
  • August 30, 2016 at 5:54 pm

    It’s interesting that you bring up having trouble putting meaning to things, because I heavily relate to these feelings you wrote about, but I also seem to be able to put meaning to it anyway. My logic and emotions seem to work hand in hand quite effectively, and while it still leaves something to be desired from greater society, it doesn’t make me feel quite as disconnected. Which is why I have also developed a lot of theories on emotions. Most people I’ve met can’t relate to what I’m saying. Perhaps I’m the philosopher brand of the “too smart to fit in society” group.

    Reply
  • January 16, 2017 at 4:03 pm

    I have really started to embrace my intelligence and to minimise my contact with most people bar maybe 2 people.

    I have found many intelligent people online who provide me with the mental stimulation I need, that I just don’t get anywhere else. I am sick of being told by people that it’s not healthy to close myself off like this, but that’s them putting their views of the world onto me, they don’t understand that I have spent the vast majority of my life not being myself just to ‘fit in’, I have now reached a point in my life where I don’t feel the need to do that anymore, and suddenly everyone comes out of the woodwork telling me that I need to socialise more and not close myself off. To which I think “but I’m happy living like this, I was miserable before when I forced myself to socialise with people that bored me, now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life” – so tell me again how I’m headed on a path of self-destruction?

    For me, that’s the worst part, being forced to behave like everyone else because it makes THEM feel better. Well, I’m done with that now, they can have their opinions, but I don’t have to listen to them or take them on board.

    The reality is that most people just bore me; it’s not their fault, it’s just the way my brain works, it reaches for higher fulfilment than most people can offer – and I’m sick of finding people I can connect with only to have my other friends and family roll their eyes as their observations and understandings of the world and make snide comments behind their backs, so now? I just keep a very large divide between those I HAVE to socialise with and those I WANT to socialise with. And, like I said, I’ve never been happier.

    Reply
    • July 27, 2017 at 1:40 am

      Yes, I feel your pain. I am so used to having people roll their eyes at me for the questions I ask. Nontheless, I do not consider myself more intelligent than others. I simply have a different way of seeing the world based on my atypical brain type.

      Reply
  • January 17, 2017 at 5:07 pm

    well.. you are either a very gifted writer to be able to relate to such a situation or you are someone who have been in such situations yourself anyway.. i got tons of questions i’ll join this group of yours may be it will help?

    Reply
  • February 5, 2017 at 4:53 am

    Great article Mr. Bundrant. I’ve saved this page. Keep it going!

    Reply
  • July 1, 2017 at 3:52 pm

    One other pitfall, if you were raised under very conservative conditions and it isn’t the first natural thing to assume that the problem may be that “I am too intelligent” is that you start to think you are either insane or down with some other mental disorder.

    I have been kicked out by my own family because they couldn’t handle me. My personality type didn’t help that, of course, it being the rarest and hardest to understand in the world. And the fact that I am also a personal artist (the type who usually die poor and tragically). So I have learned to isolate myself before people can reject me because eventually they all do. No matter how much adjusting I do to meet their level, I can’t keep it up forever. It stifles me. Being alone helped me grow a lot, much more than I could ever in the presence of others. Being with people are the just the hardest thing for me in the world. So far.

    I got an inkling some years agi it might have everything to do with intelligence. This article helped me “refine” and further affirm that theory. Thank you. Have a great one.

    Reply
  • July 27, 2017 at 1:57 am

    1.) “Meaning is made up” – is a paradoxical statement; thus it is not-true. If we are to accept this, then everything in this article is not-true, necessarily.
    2.) “Meaning is contextual” – is a relative statement asserted as absolute; thus it is not-true.
    3.) “Making fine distinctions makes you more knowledgeable” – a strawman; the article is about being ‘too smart to fit in’ and being knowledgeable is not the same as being smart – in fact, one can be smart without knowledge and one can have knowledge without being smart. It is also not-true that making fine distinctions makes you more knowledgeable. Here’s why: one can only know truths. Since one can make fine distinctions out of fallacy, and fallaciously, one cannot obtain knowledge about these things but only opinion. #2 proves this and thus proves that #3 is a fallacy.
    4.) “Taking a giant step back is often the best perspective” – obvious homonymy; although this sounds like an effective proverb, ‘often’ is blatant hyperbole. One cannot know whether it is often that this will prove true or seldom. Since a proverb loses effect when it employs hyperbole or falsehood, #4 is probably the least useful statement in this article. A more accurate statement might be, “One cannot see the forest through the trees.”
    Here’s a corrected ‘4 signs you’re too smart to fit in’:
    1.) You do not claim nor believe that you know things that you do not know.
    2.) Refer to #1.
    3.) Refer to #2.
    4.) Refer to #3.

    Reply
    • July 20, 2018 at 9:44 pm

      👏

      Reply
    • October 13, 2018 at 10:05 am

      You’re obviously on a different plane than even most. You’re what I call, the Blue Man type, so cerebral and in your own head, you can’t have a conversation with a even a highly intelligent person because you’re so busy dissecting the purpose of a conversation and the non-meaning of all the words in said conversation. I’m sure as you read this, you’re seeing all the flaws in my comment, when I’m really just being facetious…mostly.Two words bub. Lighten up! 🙂

      Reply
      • March 6, 2019 at 8:25 am

        Most likely a sociopath than especially intelligent.
        Considering yourself too intelligent to fit-in is less likely a sign of intelligence and most likely arrogance.
        If they had aspergers or high functioning autism maybe.

        Reply
    • March 22, 2019 at 2:04 am

      Excellent analysis

      Reply
  • October 16, 2017 at 1:33 am

    This article really hits home. I find it frustrating to communicate with others because they do not do so with as much depth as I do. Sure, there is always a place for small talk, but small talk seems to be the only talk people are capable of. I try to avoid generalizing, but I find frequent support for the previous sentiment.

    In my experience, far too many people run from productive dialogue. It is very difficult to not come off as arrogant when expressing this frustration. I have to convert my speech into something normal people can understand. I have developed a diverse vocabulary and the ability to articulate exactly what I wish to communicate. Unfortunately, I find very few people opt to do the same.

    I’ve even found that the more nuanced my distinctions get, there are fewer amounts of people able to understand the distinctions. I know when this happens because I am accused of being partisan on some issue. It’s distressing because my goal is to expand the dialogue while also seeking to define said dialogue. This is as far from being partisan as possible.

    Sometimes I wish I were dumber, but only very briefly.

    Reply
  • December 4, 2017 at 1:50 pm

    Thank you for this article. I thought I was alone. I have been told when questioning things I make others feel inferior. I have lost jobs because of this. When being analytical I usually don’t use societal pleasantries as my brain wants to separate the emotional and logical. When questioning others on action it is usually misinterpreted as attack on their abilities or knowledge.

    Day after day I evaluate every word I say seeing if there was a slight slight that might of inadvertently offended others and how might I fix such a thing. I find myself avoiding social situations as many of times I have received repercussions for inquiries. When dealing out in public I try to make up a false persona of a redneck country bumpkin in order to make others feel superior so I don’t get these repercussions.

    Sometimes I try to go back and explain to the perceived offended individual and that leads them to think that it is a falsehood as it is believed I am over-explaining.

    I use to cringe as the meaningless conversations without any information exchange and fake doing the same thing just to fit in. Or the lack of use of words to describe things leading to misinterpretations to only later find out the initiator intended that just to further conversation.

    So, for those that experience this social discord and distance you have my utmost sympathy. A search for knowledge and clarification should never be something someone is burnt at the stake for.

    Reply
  • September 10, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    I’ve been told your too organized, too planned, too this and too that. I’ve been told it comes easy to you, don’t be judgy, I can’t think like you. It’s all recognized that I am on the right track but I make people uncomfortable. I don’t understand why its ok to be told that I am too smart as if it is a way for others not to be accountable. Then I am accused of not being social. Well why would I want to sit and talk about ideas that are going now where. So frustrating and I can relate to most posts here. Thank you because the most valuable thing I could relate to is that I don’t see myself as smarter or better than others. I just don’t understand why I am constantly judged but am held to different standards.

    Reply
  • September 19, 2018 at 4:57 pm

    there are some people smarter than other people and that’s objectively true, man. Like there are people that run faster than other. This is how things are, if they feel bad about themselves and they want to act like there’s no such thing as being people being smarter than them, lying to themselves, and making you act like it too that’s another thing.

    Reply
  • May 12, 2019 at 3:17 am

    I’m just gonna use this comment to vent…

    Yes it sucks being smart. I keep trying to connect with people, and I feel like they just don’t get where I’m coming from. I’ve developed so many small habits to keep myself from rambling and being insufferable that I feel like I can’t even be myself anymore. I constantly use fillers and dumb down my words and ways of speaking. I feel like I’m being suppressed and the stress is unbearable. People say “just be yourself”, but I can’t do that. Just because I’m smart doesn’t mean I’m an introvert. I’m a very social person, but needing that type of connection comes at the cost of my own self-fulfillment. I feel like I can’t express the complexity of my problems to anyone because they never understand just how much I analyze what happens in my life. They simply can’t understand how much I have to process due to the amount of information I absorb regarding every situation I encounter. It’s as if I see everything that happens from all perspectives, and I process how to deal with the people involved, create a healthy outcome, and move forward, but it doesn’t change the fact that I am still human and I can’t just shut off my own emotions. I need to talk too. Yet… somehow, no matter how much I explain, or how open, honest, communicative, and understanding I am, I feel like my perspective is simply never grasped by anyone I talk to. People always compliment me on my ability to handle situations and work through complex problems, but it comes at the cost of my own happiness. I can help everyone else, but no on can help me.

    Reply
  • July 14, 2019 at 11:03 am

    I can relate to most of these points. Nice to see it laid out and feel a little more normal (in the abnormal sense).

    Reply
  • July 21, 2019 at 3:19 am

    Still sad. Arrogant, know it all, hard-headed, stupid, and other terms of endearment I have heard after insisting something as basic as the moon seen in the daytime is not a planet. That person thought I was a moron because “everyone knows you only see the moon at night”
    Not saying, or thinking, I am smarter. Please just don’t belittle me and disdain me as a human.
    Similar conversations abound.

    P.S It was not a planet so the earth will survive a bit longer.

    Reply
  • October 10, 2019 at 1:48 am

    I stumbled onto this site because I googled “Am I too smart to fit in”? It never really occurred to me before. I don’t particular think I’m smart though I try to be objective. I try not to think in terms of black and white and I try not to use emotion as logic. I do this because the truth doesn’t care how we feel about it an sometimes lives in the gray. If someone calls me stupid I view it as an opportunity to learn about something providing empirical evidence supports it.
    On Dec 2 2015 I discovered the 2nd amendment can be read as a literal algebraic equation. It describes nothing more than a constitutional right to common sense gun laws. I investigated this further and discovered in excess of 500 literal metaphorical ciphers that were written exclusive to explain why it was hidden in the first place. At the heart of this matter was Benjamin Franklin. This was hidden due to 18th century politics. It was meant from day one to be the final legacy of the U.S. Constitution. While this research is conclusive and easily illustrated it appears that academia seems to believe that objectivity can only be taught?
    Am I smart? It never really occurred to me because I’d rather think about other stuff.

    Reply
 

Join the Conversation!

We invite you to share your thoughts and tell us what you think in this public forum. Before posting, please read our blog moderation guidelines. A first name or pseudonym is required and will be displayed with your comment. Your email address is also required, but will be kept private. (Please note that we use gravatars here, which are tied to your email address.) A website/blog/twitter address is optional.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *