19 thoughts on “21 Characteristics of Smart, Anxious Misfits

  • September 29, 2015 at 9:44 pm

    Wow, this is frightening how familiar these points are… I’ve felt like a misfit my entire life, although I’ve done quite a good job at being socially pleasant so that I “fit in” and feel included. I hate the idea of being smart in the sense that it’s arrogant and intolerant of others though, but the way I think is in line with the inability to fervently believe in black and white terms. I find it extremely difficult to conform to those rigid beliefs, so I come off as a smart ass quite often. I don’t mean to, I just want a good, juicy deep conversation about some different perspectives. And yes, so many people bore me!! I don’t say this because I think I’m better than anyone. That’s not it. In fact I envy people that aren’t a slave to their never ending churning analyzing hypervigilant anxiety – riddled mind.

  • September 30, 2015 at 2:07 am

    It would be nice if somebody close to me knew me this well 🙂

  • October 1, 2015 at 11:04 am

    I accidentally stumbled onto this page and found myself being pulled in by the reality that this information was about me. I’m 77 and have been struggling all my life with the thought of not fitting in with the rest of the world. In my mind I struggle with thinking I’m smart and a know it all and then find out I’m not as smart as I thought I was. On the outside I’m an actor trying to fit in but on the inside I fear I’ll be exposed as a fraud and impostor. I lack true sympathy compassion and empathy. I have seen many of my relatives and spouse pass and had a brief moment of sadness and tears but that emotion didn’t last long. The issue of mental health has always been a major concern in my life and causes me to analyze everything and that annoys a lot of people I car about. I’ve only been in the hospital once for depression but since then I’ve been able to live with it. It overwhelms me to think that mental health is a very big issue with so many people you wonder how we can live with each other. I’m sure there are a lot of medications and therapist that are helping us all to cope with it.I have trust issue and doubts with opening up to strangers or friends about mental Issue I’m having. This comment is the exception. Is there any chance that I can feel what it’s like to be a normal thinking person? Thank you.

  • October 1, 2015 at 11:50 am

    It feels like you just described me! Although I don’t consider myself smart at all, and would never claim that, I still relate to what you wrote. I joined your group and I hope I get accepted. Can’t wait to see what it’s like!

  • October 1, 2015 at 5:57 pm

    Thanks Mike, for pointing out what a “SAM” I am! I am addicted to learning and finding my place in the world, though it is rare that I find like-minded people. Though I do not always notice it, doctors always write on my records that I appear “anxious”. Of course, I am a misfit – my hobbies and interests have always been outside the norm (which can make people interested, or even afraid). I particularly like Mike’s point #12, which says that we understand things in their ever-changing context. My biggest fear is to have a mundane life of predictable moments, a ‘script’ of how I should act and what I should believe.

  • October 1, 2015 at 9:27 pm

    I’m laughing….most of this list is why i don’t have friends. And then I go and move to a little spit of a town where they’re so close-minded it’s almost funny…
    My house closes next week and I’m moving back to the Big Bad City
    where I can find other exotics lol

  • October 1, 2015 at 11:17 pm

    Describes me perfectly. (Although only portions of me….context!), but I am no longer anxious for having come to terms with my true self. It’s a little funny because I “look” normal, and people may begin a conversation with that expectation; but within moments they know something’s up. I express honest feelings spontaneously, a big social taboo. Those that get what’s up, I consider “family”. We often hug, even having only known each other for minutes or moments. Then I “set them free” (as my family does for me), say a silent prayer for them, and experience the humble awe of knowing I’m not alone. I’ve met dozens of family members in 4 decades. I have direct contact with 1. Which brings me to my final, unfortunate point. No Facebook.

  • October 2, 2015 at 2:16 pm

    Wow,genius,professor of professors.You’re the only one smarter than me,far off my professor shrink,not to mention Kant and the whole rest.I,with my reading and understanding kicked schizophrenia in the but instead to crush me like a cigarette but and found for it a cure,believe me as I do unto you.The above points is about me.You got my number.How did you know Joe,say it ain’t so.

  • October 7, 2015 at 12:51 pm

    Would normally be interested but i have found that highly intelligent folks have either never joined Facebook, or once were previously members, and that these folks got smarter “unfriended” Facebook altogether. Truly intelligent people don’t let fads and conformity steer their lives.

  • October 8, 2015 at 9:27 am

    Initially I was going to write my comment before I read the others, it would have begun “I happened upon this blog accidentally…”. I’m glad that I did read through them first though. Luckily that allows me to be a little more open. I have never felt so aptly described in my life. Read through each point 3 times to make sure they described me overall and not just me today (context!) and I was so excited to be able to get in touch with like-minded people that I missed the part about the group being on Facebook until I got to the comments. Unfortunately, for me I suppose, I am not a member of Facebook. I considered joining just for the purpose of being part of this group but I’ve decided I don’t want it to be a part of my life. Boo for me 🙁

    In any case, apart from everything else that’s been said, I also tend to feel the need to explain myself or defend my position or decisions. My interests lie in understanding the deeper aspects of the topic of a conversation, understanding what makes people make certain choices. The line I tend to use most often is “I want to understand your thought process” – which a colleague has said makes me seem condescending and judgmental. But the truth of it really is just that: having accepted that people think differently due to their own varying circumstances, I am curious to know what leads to certain decision-making. My curiosity makes me seem interrogative and I tend to explain my own thought process which tends to make me seem narcissistic because who spends so much time thinking about these things? Well I do and until today I genuinely thought I was alone.

    Thank you!

  • October 8, 2015 at 4:16 pm

    I cant spell real well and do not use large words that other people will not understand. I feel i have a high level of common sense. I find small talk very boring and like to talk about whats really going on, things that matter. I speak my mind and most people do not appreciate that. i have many different types of friends who are real people. I have a young daughter in school and only get along with a few of the mom’s, most are to pretentious, I still say hello to everyone and get offended when people do not respond and so much more! i feel exactly like the 21 questions so HELLO

  • October 9, 2015 at 7:56 pm

    I’m overwhelmed by how fitting this description is. As I was reading every point became more and more familiar.

  • October 17, 2015 at 3:29 pm

    Wow. Like others I stumbled here and found myself amazed at the stuff that sounds like me. I just requested entry into the FB group. Crazy – though I’m alone I just looked around to see if anyone could see me reading this article w/ my eyes popping out of my head. My heart goes out to others who find themselves devouring this article as I did.

  • October 21, 2015 at 3:37 pm

    Fits me perfectly.

  • October 22, 2015 at 10:07 pm

    Wow! At 67 I finally feel understood.
    2 questions, how do I find the FB page, and how do any of us who identify so clearly with this description actually meet in person????
    I think I’ve really only had two people in my life I could relate to: a dear friend of 15 years and a man I’m currently dating but whose relational skills are diminished from years of drug addiction,despite having been sober for the past 20.
    Sad to finally meet ones first soul mate so late in life!

  • October 23, 2015 at 4:10 am

    I like “super smart, anxious misfit,” but what you describe does have a quasi-clinical name: GIFTED. This special set of traits can contribute to all kinds of anguish — the guilt you mention, shame that comes from blaming oneself for all the social issues that arise, and much more. People think we shouldn’t have problems because we have high IQs. We do. Thanks for recognizing that and offering solutions.

  • December 26, 2015 at 12:37 am

    To JP, about family:

    And I as well, my friend and brother. And I as well.

    😉 I understand all too deeply.

    Beloved be our solitude
    Alone against the dark
    Not viable, not wanted
    By some; We’re on a lark
    Our inward eyes
    Are pools of stone
    Sun-raging minds
    Like gleaming traps
    For sticky children
    Running laps
    We take them, all
    By warm, fresh hand
    And lead them
    To the merry land
    Of unicorns and
    Castles grand
    For they are us
    And we are they
    Inside, the summer
    Of a day

  • December 26, 2015 at 3:50 am

    Like others here I feel like those characteristics describe me accurately. I’m 60 in two months time and still feel like I’ve never reached my full potential. I find “idle” conversation really boring and as a result stay away from most social environments. I know I’m intelligent and was a member of Mensa for years.


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