5 thoughts on “Four Reasons Why People Settle for Bad Relationships

  • February 5, 2014 at 12:36 pm

    Yes and.

    Yes,and many of the people who settle undoubtedly have wonderful, fulfilling marriages that last for years and years because they know that love is a verb, not a noun.

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  • February 5, 2014 at 3:29 pm

    I settled for my first marriage because of these reasons:

    1) I was brainwashed by my dad to believe I couldn’t make it on my own and I was a failure. I also didn’t go to university for the same reason.

    2) I needed to get away from my dad because in his eyes I was a perpetual 7 year old yet had no idea how to be an adult at the same time. I didn’t move out, I ran away from home. (I left home with one basket of clothes in the middle of the night and never went back.)

    3) I had just been through a bad break up with a guy I thought was “the one” and decided that was proof men only want sex and not love.

    4) I had very low self-esteem and figured that the type of guys I was interested in would never be interested in return.

    5) My friends liked him, which ironically was an extremely bad thing because my friends were actually toxic.

    6) I thought I couldn’t take care of myself and he had a good job. Which is also ironic because I had an inheritance which could have supported me until I found a job, and buffered me in hard times. But instead I was $30,000 in debt by the time of our divorce 5 years later.

    7) In the end what kept me with him was the fear that he would take my son I had with him. Which, in the end, he did, leaving me homeless and penniless. (That’s right gentlemen, the lady does not always win in the divorce.)

    So… yeah… real life experience. Never marry someone for the wrong reasons.

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  • February 5, 2014 at 4:16 pm

    I had a chance to get married about 20 years ago to a woman that I was not in love with. She had loved me, so she told me. I never went through with and I never regretted not marrying her.

    Funny thing was that I met some guys just shortly after I had broken up with her(she was very nasty to me after I let her go and told her the truth gently). They got married and felt the same way towards their women like I did. They told me that it was a real nightmare for them to have married them. So it confirmed to me that I did the right thing.

    However, I never found someone after that. I never regretted not marrying the one I could have, but I regretted not having someone after her. Until this day, there are some people who have asked me if I should look her up and maybe get back together with her. Maybe things will be different this time. I don’t want to do that. In fact, when I was with her the last time, it was a second time that we got together. The second time was worst than the first. She figured that she had me because I came back to her. She made a whole list of demands that she wanted in the relationship.

    Like I said earlier, I regretted that no one has come along. But on the other hand, I was just diagnosed with cancer. So maybe it was God’s plan for me not to have someone so that a woman would not have to go through an unpleasant ordeal dealing with me and the cancer.

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    • February 5, 2014 at 11:19 pm

      Good for you will for doing the right thing and not marrying when it didn’t feel right. I always say I’d rather have the bitter truth, however painful it may be,than live a lie. But then I wonder, isn’t it normal to question if a relationship is the rigbt one? There must have been some indication on another level that made you realize it wasn’t right.

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    • February 5, 2014 at 11:37 pm

      Did you ever look? The right one does not fall from trees in your yard. It requires energy, courage and willingness to take risks. I am so sorry that you think it was just as well because you have cancer.You have great worth and value that for some reason you do not know. Whenever I see a coin on the ground I pray for other people that I know deserve a prayer. I will add you in my prayers,

      Reply
 

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