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Archives for Beliefs


Everything? Sucks Right Now!

My friend, Steven, was trying to sleep the other night. In his head, he kept hearing the words: Everything sucks right now!

A list of things scrolled through his mind:

• The world is a mess!
• Natural disasters everywhere.
• We're on the brink of nuclear war.
• My teenagers have attitudes.
• Is my business slowing down?
Everything sucks!

After a few minutes of self-torture, he realized he could ask himself an NLP meta-model question.
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How to Forgive Yourself by Realizing Something New

You may be wondering how to forgive yourself for something - or many things.

If you don't know how to forgive yourself - if you can't let go and move on - you may be focusing on the wrong part of self-forgiveness.

So many of us say: I can't forgive myself. I'm not able to let go. I can't do it. Show me how to forgive myself because I'm stuck. I totally lack self-forgiveness!

You're focused on not...
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Why Embracing Change is Good For You

Change is inevitable.

Ironically, it’s one of the few truths in life we can count on to be, well, unchanging. Many of us find it challenging to accept change, particularly when it is (seemingly) forced upon us, such as in the case of a job loss or the end of a relationship.

Others resist even the smallest of changes, and strive at all times to stay within safe routines and comfort zones.

Let’s face it: change...
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This Kind of Communication Happens Once a Minute and It’s Bad for Your Health

According to research, for the majority of people, the typical conversation includes one complaint per minute. That’s a lot of whining.

We all know someone who seems to love to complain. But did you also know that complaining is actually bad for your health?

When we complain on a regular basis, the neurons in our brain actually rewire so that complaining gets easier over time.

Repeated complaining also shrinks the area of our brain that’s responsible...
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How One Woman Escaped Her Trapped Life and Now Helps Others Do the Same

I met life coach Sophie Charlotte when researching how women can become more confident.

When I read her story, I reached out to her because she has a message for women who feel trapped in their lives.

Sophie is a woman who escaped an anxiety-ridden life in which she chronically looked to others for approval.

Then, in a bold stroke, she escaped the trap and create something wildly new and different for herself.

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Law of Attraction (LOA) – Does it Work?

I've been a skeptic of the law of attraction (LOA). When self-development blogger Rebecca Temsen agreed to answer some questions about LOA, I warned her I might come across as a naysayer. She was fine with that so we went for it.

Are you on the fence about LOA? Read on!
LOA Disclaimer
Rebecca Temsen: I'm no expert on the law of attraction. I have a day job in marketing and I run my blog...
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Waking Up From a False Reality Can Be Harsh

My 19-year-old son was looking like the world had just ended, so I asked him what was up.

The girl we thought was his girlfriend told him she’d been ‘accidentally’ leading him on for two months. She was never interested in him romantically but merely feeling insecure as she was nervous about making friends.

“Accidentally?” I asked. He just stared at the floor.

Apparently, when my son showed interest, this particular girl encouraged his romantic advances because...
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Tortured by the Pursuit of Gratitude – Why Attitude of Gratitude Research Isn’t So Simple

Image credit to Gecko&Fly

If Stalin's take on gratitude tells us anything, we should embrace an attitude of gratitude with all our might. We'll see below that science appears to agree. Gratitude research, however, is often reported by bloggers and the media in misleading ways, turning the pursuit of gratitude into emotional torture.

A recent article in the National Communication Association’s Review of Communication has confirmed that gratitude, health, and happiness go hand in...
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15 Existential Questions that Could Improve Mental Health

Cartoon purchased from Andertoons by Mike Bundrant

Do you regularly ponder life’s deeper meaning and other existential questions?

How about biting into juicy explorations of religion, morality, spirituality, and God? Or do you shy away from potentially disturbing existential questions, finding security and safety in your established beliefs?

A study recently published in the Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science suggests that individuals who are willing to confront existential questions may have greater immunity to depression and anxiety.

According to Professor...
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But I’ve always been told I can’t do it! (limiting beliefs)

A client shows up with a limiting belief: I can't do anything right!

You ask: What makes you think you can't?

Well, I've always been told I don't have what it takes, I'll never succeed in life and so on.

And you believe it?

I guess so.
What to do at this point? How do we move forward and help this person change a limiting belief?
There are so many ways to work with limiting thoughts and beliefs, and they all boil...
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