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Three Awesome Things that Happen When you Stop Blaming Others

stop blaming othersIf you’ve ever thought that you should stop blaming others, this post will push you further down that path.

Are you up for it?

We all blame others in obvious or subtle ways. To stop blaming others entirely – including with unspoken feelings – would be quite an accomplishment.

Blame is a universal go-to mechanism that we believe protects us from looking bad or getting punished in some way.

To get someone to blame, all you need to do is say something that suggests they may have done something wrong. Most people will immediately begin making excuses (in the form of blame). Blaming others. Blaming life.

Even blaming yourself suggests that you couldn’t help it and therefore are strangely not at fault.

Astoundingly, blaming others is almost always the worst thing to┬ádo, even from a selfish perspective. It just doesn’t work out. People see through it. You look foolish, childish. And you pay an emotional price by getting all worked up. Blaming others is little more than self-sabotage.

The only saving grace seems to be that everyone does it. Even those in the highest, most-respected positions in society become chronic blame machines whenever they are confronted with some uncomfortable truth.

What is blame and why would you want to stop blaming others?

Blame is a transfer of responsibility for a mistake or when something goes wrong. We should note that blame is NOT holding someone accountable or merely acknowledging someone’s responsibility. Blame goes beyond the mark and unnecessarily accuses someone of both wrongdoing and bad intentions. Most often the people who need to stop blaming others are trying to avoid their own responsibilities.

When you stop blaming others, amazing things happen.

Three Life-Altering Benefits that Come When You Stop Blaming Others

  1. Life suddenly becomes simple and this is a huge relief. No more making a case against others and getting defensive or trying to prove anything. No more lies. No more drama. When you make a mistake, own it. Live with the consequences and move on. Imagine how much drama would vanish in your life if you never got caught up in the blame game.
  2. Self-respect skyrockets. Right? When you stop blaming others and simply take responsibility for your own actions, you are no longer presenting a facade to the world. You’re just you and that’s enough. That’s self-respect. Of course, you’ll also earn the respect of others and live above the fray.
  3. You will be able to hold yourself and others accountable. Ironically, when you stop blaming others, you make room for understanding and even compassion, which helps you see yourself and others clearly. With no blame in your tone, you’ll be able to discuss mistakes more openly and ensure proper accountability. Blame inspires defensiveness, which makes it nearly impossible to hold people accountable or experience a meeting of the minds.

I’m certain there are many other benefits that come when you stop blaming people. Which ones come to your mind?

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Three Awesome Things that Happen When you Stop Blaming Others

Mike Bundrant

Mike Bundrant is the author of Your Achilles Eel: Discover and Overcome the Hidden Cause of Negative Emotions, Bad Decisions and Self-Sabotage and co-founder at The iNLP Center which offers online certification in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and life coaching.


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APA Reference
Bundrant, M. (2018). Three Awesome Things that Happen When you Stop Blaming Others. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 11, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/nlp/2018/03/stop-blaming-others/

 

Last updated: 29 Mar 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 29 Mar 2018
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.