Home » Blogs » NLP Discoveries » What if You Realized Part of You Wants to Be Hurt, Suffer, and Ruin Your Day?

What if You Realized Part of You Wants to Be Hurt, Suffer, and Ruin Your Day?

Forget whether or not it’s objectively true. Just try this little experiment and see what happens.

For whatever reason, settle into the mindset that part of you is motivated toward pain. This, of course, is masochism. Probably emotional masochism.

If you can get your mind around that, then pay attention during your day to the following:

• Decisions around people, activities, food, and drink

• How you talk to yourself (every sound in your head is your own)

• How often you feel like things are unfair or that people are stupid

• Anything you believe you should do that you avoid

• Anything you believe you should NOT do that you….do.

Basically, you’re going to pretend you have an inner-saboteur who wants to get you. Then, pay close attention to how you conduct yourself, what you’re tempted to do, and what you avoid. Chances are, you will find your inner-saboteur lurking in the background, ready to pounce on any opportunity to suffer.

It’s normal to self-sabotage

It’s not ideal, but self-sabotage is part of the human condition. We came out of the womb with high expectations – life had always been a womb! The cold, hard, indifferent world is a shock.

Normal delays in gratification combined with encounters with mean people were a living hell. Part of us had to do something with that hell, so it embraced it and even learned to love it. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em! Or so goes the psychodynamic theories when you break them down to common terms.

Ok, so you’ve got this inner demon and the biggest problem is not knowing you have it. The saboteur works on autopilot and you might even believe its lies. And you suffer because: 1) You unconsciously make choices that cause suffering and 2) You don’t realize it.

That’s quite a trap. I’m in it, too.

To reverse that – a long journey – begin by toying with the idea that part of you is motivated toward the things you think you’ve been trying to avoid and see if your life suddenly makes sense.

To learn how self-sabotage works, watch this free and enlightening video. To keep up with all my writing, like my Facebook Page

What if You Realized Part of You Wants to Be Hurt, Suffer, and Ruin Your Day?

Mike Bundrant

Mike Bundrant is the author of Your Achilles Eel: Discover and Overcome the Hidden Cause of Negative Emotions, Bad Decisions and Self-Sabotage and co-founder at The iNLP Center which offers online certification in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and life coaching.

No comments yet... View Comments / Leave a Comment



APA Reference
Bundrant, M. (2018). What if You Realized Part of You Wants to Be Hurt, Suffer, and Ruin Your Day?. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 9, 2020, from


Last updated: 30 Jan 2018
Statement of review: Psych Central does not review the content that appears in our blog network ( prior to publication. All opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the author alone, and do not reflect the views of the editorial staff or management of Psych Central. Published on All rights reserved.