From time to time it’s a good idea to give ourselves gentle reminders about reality. Life works in certain ways and it doesn’t always cater to our wishes.

We often feel like failures, not because we’re inadequate, but because life doesn’t work how we expect. And life won’t budge to accommodate us!

For example:

1. No, you really can’t lose weight and overeat at the same time. And it doesn’t take much overeating to ruin progress. A small slip up here and there…and good-bye to that dream body.

2. Your romantic partner isn’t going to morph into a glowing source of unconditional love that never gets upset when you screw up. If you’re counting on your significant other changing, then you probably need to change your expectations.

3. The benefits of any practice take time. Meditation has wild benefits, if you practice over weeks, months, and years. You can’t count your days meditating like my 3rd grade friend used to count to 100.…1, 2, skip a few…99, 100.

4. The subtlest change in mindset – from passive victim to active participant – makes all the difference, but remembering to do it is another matter entirely.

5. “Why me?” It’s the most popular question. In most cases, we should be asking, “Why not me?”

6. The more you rebel against authority, the more you invite authority to intervene and try to control you. Which employee gets micromanaged, the cooperative one or the rebel? Most of us rebel against things we’ve agreed to do, regardless.

7. Most people will choose a familiar misery over a foreign happiness. If the happiness you seek isn’t familiar, then you must learn to trust it slowly. Learning to trust happiness? Yep.

8. The majority of people tell one lie for every 10 minutes of conversation and that probably includes you.

9. Most of us are conflicted about the changes we want to make. When it comes down to it, a part of us wants to hang onto problems.

10. Some people go to therapy – not because they want to change – but because they don’t want to change. The failure of therapy becomes another reason why they can’t change (and shouldn’t have to). This is one of those shadow issues that can be liberating to discover.