When I read her story, I reached out to her because she has a message for women who feel trapped in their lives.
Sophie is a woman who escaped an anxiety-ridden life in which she chronically looked to others for approval.
Then, in a bold stroke, she escaped the trap and create something wildly new and different for herself.
Would you like to do the same? In this interview, I ask Sophie the following questions:
• How did you go from scared and trapped in life to confident and living the life you want?
• What’s the biggest challenge women face when they aren’t living the life they want?
• How can women feel more empowered sooner in life?
• What single thing has made the biggest difference in your personal journey?
• How can women make better choices about their partners in life?
• What is the biggest mistake a young woman can make?
Without further ado, here are Sophie’s answers.
How did you go from scared and trapped in life to confident and living the life you want?
By deciding I wanted a different life. By saying no to misery and yes to life – my life. I was done playing small, feeling unhappy and simply bored with the life I was living and so long story short: broke up with my draining relationship, saved up 10k in a year, moved to Florence, Italy and started all over again.
It sounds easy put it like this… come to think about it, it actually was. You know why? Because staying trapped was harder. People would tell me, “You’re so brave that you’re doing this!” While I would smile and say thanks, I would always think to myself: You have no idea, staying here would be brave…
All the while I was taking medication to keep my anxiety dirsorder under control, so maybe yes, I should give myself some credit here, it was hard, but that’s exactly what made it worth it. The challenges, the struggle, the not-knowing and then making it happen is frikkin’ amazing – and yes, that does give you loads of self-confidence!
What’s the biggest challenge women face when they aren’t living the life they want?
Death. When you’re not living the life you want, you’re not really living and so you’re already dead before you die. I know this sounds harsh, but it’s a wake up call to all the women out there that keep saying one day…. One day, or day one. You decide.
You decide. Just fast forward to, let’s say, your deathbed for example. What do you want to be able to feel, say, think, look back on when you’re lying there? The last thing you’d want to have is regrets and thinking: “Oh my God, I didn’t LIVE when I was alive and now I’m dying and there’s nothing I can do about it.” Life is now and you can decide how you want to live it by taking the committed action it requires.
No one ever said it was easy, but again, dying with regrets seems much harder.
How can women feel more empowered sooner in life, and not have to spend years and years in situations that don’t serve them?
By taking their own happiness seriously and seeing that they can change things around. It usually takes a decent amount of suffering until the wake-up moment arrives and they need to change in order to move on. Those moments of crisis are golden; that’s where you find the fuel for change. You know that it can’t get any worse than this so you might as well turn it all around and blow the bloody roof off while you’re at it. At least, that’s how I see it.
I don’t do small. And I help my clients get out of their own way and step into their own power with my programme Rock Your Own World. It’s all about taking life back into your own hands, seeing you’re worth it to be mind-blowingly happy and actually capable of turning your life into a frikkin’ masterpiece.What single thing has made the biggest difference in your personal journey?
What single thing has made the biggest difference in your personal journey?
Self-love. Approving of myself, accepting myself, supporting myself, taking care of myself, putting myself first. This has turned me into the best version of myself and this version contributes to other people’s lives in an extremely meaningful way. It all starts with ourselves and the relationship we have with ourselves.
When you look for validation outside of yourself you’re f*cked (pardon my French). And I know like no other because my anxiety disorder was caused because of that. I needed approval of others to function. Well, at some point you can’t keep it up anymore and you crash – and you have lost both yourself and the people around you, which was a horrible place to be in since they were the source of my validation. You get the picture, it was pretty messy.
How can women make better choices about their partners in life?
By first becoming their own best friend and constantly checking in with themselves and their own intuition. Is this working for me? You are allowed to choose, you know. Not because a man likes you, you need to give yourself away. You have an equal part in the relationship – you’re deserving of receiving and responsible for giving.
Only when we know ourselves on a very deep level, know what we want AND feel we’re totally worthy of receiving that and only that, you can make a shift. And that’s what you radiate and attract.
What is the biggest mistake a young woman can make?
To make herself less important than anyone else. It is your responsibility to claim your space, to see your own worth and to show that to others. Again, it all starts with ourselves. Once you see that, you set yourself free.
Confidence Coach for Women on a Mission
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