But why is this so often difficult to do? You can consciously understand how you should feel and act, yet behave in an opposite manner.
It’s so easy to be set off, often by the simplest things. Worse, sometimes we can’t stop the downward spiral into emotional pain. It’s nearly impossible not to get sucked into drama, even though we understand it’s not a good thing to do.
What’s going on?
Feelings you don’t feel.
A compelling thread of research seems to have validated the existence and verifiable influence of unconscious emotions. These are feelings you experience at a deep level but are never consciously aware of. Unconscious emotions may directly affect your decisions, motivation, and behavior.
When you couple unconscious emotions with the researched fact that 95% of decisions are made unconsciously, you inevitably arrive at the conclusion that so much of our behavior is not subject to conscious choice.
So, when you react poorly, find yourself doing what you’d prefer not to do, self-sabotage, or feel victimized by your choices, you might safely assume unconscious processes are in control. In other words, an unconscious ‘program’ is running that you have not been able to access.
How do you gain more self-control?
Increasing self-awareness and learning to recognize the presence of unconscious emotions seems like a worthy place to start. In other words, we endeavor to make the unconscious conscious.
I’ll follow up with more posts on this topic in the near future. To learn to recognize the unconscious cause of self-sabotaging behavior, watch this free and enlightening self-sabotage video.
Emotions, preferences, and goals can be unconscious:
Decisions and behaviors can be unconsciously determined: