Love yourselfWe often try to compensate for low self-esteem by committing a (paradoxical) negative action, which only feeds the monster that is insecurity.

Though the negative action may seemingly have temporary benefits, it will never rid you of your insecurity.

For example of this is a woman with low self-esteem, who seeks attention from men as validation. Yes she is getting immediate attention, but chances are it’s not the type she truly wants and it’s not going to last very long. It’s this that ultimately feeds her insecurities and makes her feel bad about herself.

In the list below, seven experts weigh in on how to build your self-esteem, to avoid scenarios such as the one described above:

1) Dr. Stanley Gross

“Identify triggers to low self-esteem. We personalize stressful events (e.g., criticism) by inferring a negative meaning about ourselves. A self-defeating action often follows. Each event can, instead, be a chance to learn about ourselves, if we face our fear of doing so and the negative beliefs about ourselves that sustain the negative meanings.”

2) Dr. Williams

“Recognize what you are good at: We are all good at something, whether itís cooking, singing, doing puzzles or being a friend. We also tend to enjoy doing the things we are good at, which can help to boost your mood.”

3) Dr. Mark Goulston

“Raise the self-esteem of others. Be supportive, give them the benefit of the doubt; never ridicule or belittle anyone.”

4) Mayo Clinic Staff

“Accept your thoughts: Instead of fighting, resisting or being overwhelmed by negative thoughts or feelings, accept them. You don’t have to like them, just allow yourself to feel them. Negative thoughts don’t need to be controlled, changed or acted upon. Aim to lessen the power of your negative thoughts and their influence on your behavior.”

5) Dr. Robert Brooks

“Reinforcing Responsibility by Having Children Contribute: Self-esteem and resilience are nurtured when children are asked to
contribute to their world and to the well-being of others. In my research and clinical work, I have found that one of the most effective ways of boosting self-worth and motivation is to communicate to our children. You have something of value to offer; your presence makes a positive difference in the lives of others.î

6) Dr. Barton Goldsmith

“Motivation, that inner cheerleader, is what propels you to the next level in life. Wanting to have a positive impact on those around you is a great way to motivate yourself. It is also very life enhancing.”

7) Randi Chapnik Myers

“Make sure goals are within reach, at a level appropriate for your ability.”

References

10 Tips for Raising Self-Esteem | Psychology Today. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://fhands.com/ee4xOsJ

10 Ways to Raise Your Self-Esteem | Psychology Today. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://fhands.com/hdl05bI

How to build your child’s self-esteem – Today’s Parent. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://fhands.com/1yZ5iep

How To Raise Your Self-Esteem | Psych Central. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://fhands.com/QKyfcY1

Raising low self-esteem – Live Well – NHS Choices. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://fhands.com/1RRrVJ6

Self-Esteem and Resiliance. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://fhands.com/UnOw0No

Self-esteem: Take steps to feel better about yourself – Mayo Clinic. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://fhands.com/I9aqgFA