Why should I be?
I’m a person and people suffer from time to time; sometimes for a long, long time.
Shit happens and when I find myself in the midst of it, pretending it shouldn’t be happening doesn’t help.
Most of my suffering comes not from what happens in the world outside of me, but from my childish belief that it shouldn’t be happening – that it’s ‘not fair.’ Of course, this belief is natural and common, too.
Deep down, I guess I think I should be sailing through a life of total bliss and that if something goes wrong, it’s a total disruption of ‘how things ought to be.’ Not gonna happen.
So, when bad things happen, I’ll take out an old fashioned piece of paper and a pen. I’ll write down what happened – and then I will examine the beliefs that trap me in suffering.
It’s not fair.
I can’t handle this.
This shouldn’t be happening to me.
Then I’ll dispute those beliefs by reminding myself that I am only compounding the problem by resisting – by refusing to accept reality. As soon as I let go of the childish belief that I should be immune to problems, I relax.
Now, I am more prepared to deal with the problems of a typical day.
Many thanks to M. Scott Peck for the first page of the book that teaches this invaluable lesson about expectations.