The Conundrum that Keeps you Attached to Manipulative Relationships
But you don’t leave. Rather, you attempt to fix the problem over and over. You feel like if you can get the other to confront the issues honestly, you’ll have a chance.
In the least, you’d like some closure on your relationship history. So, you keep trying to get somewhere that makes sense.
And now you’re stuck in conundrum hell.
This is the conundrum:
How do you create a shared understanding with a master manipulator?
The more you try, the more you fall prey to manipulation. You’re stuck. You may even be so full of self-doubt that you wonder whether or not you’re sane.
What keeps you stuck? Your need for the closure that comes from mutual understanding.
This is a common sense need. It’s easier to move on – or fix issues – when all parties share the same reality. When there is no shared reality, it makes sense to seek further understanding and communication.
Unless you’re dealing with a high manipulative person.
In this case, no shared reality is possible. Manipulators shift reality to match their agenda, moment to moment. If you’re going for the closure that comes from mutual agreement, you’ll never get it.
You’ll need to leave without closure. Then, you’ll work to come to closure on your own, perhaps with help, but not in the midst of the relationship that twisted your reality in the first place.
It’s hard to come to grips with the sobering reality that you’re with a high manipulative person. If you’re wondering about the one you’re with, read about master manipulators.
Bundrant, M. (2015). The Conundrum that Keeps you Attached to Manipulative Relationships. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 24, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/nlp/2015/12/the-conundrum-that-keeps-you-attached-to-manipulative-relationships/