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5 Zinger Questions To Transform Your Romantic Relationship

relationship mistakesSometimes relationships can get a positive boost by asking penetrating questions.

These are not necessarily questions to live by. Yet, they are important to understand. The zinger questions can shed light on issues that potentially kill relationships.

Why not inform yourself of what could ultimately tear you apart?

Putting relationship vulnerabilities on the table gives you the daily opportunity to make sure the vulnerability remains in check. In most cases, understanding the answers to the following questions gives you amazing opportunities to improve your love life.

Warning: If you’re going to address these questions, it’s best to do so when you’re in a good space as a couple. Don’t make these questions part of a fight. That could be disastrous. Agree ahead of time to remain calm and open-minded during the discussion.

Let’s give it whirl.

1. How are we NOT compatible?

That’s right. Shine light on your non-compatibility. No two people are the same. There are surely ways in which you and your partner are different. Differences can rub you the wrong way, especially when you are expecting sameness.

Stop expecting sameness all the time and work with the differences. Compatibility differences aren’t going to magically disappear. So, accommodate them consciously.

2. Who’s in charge around here?

Yep, who wears the pants? It doesn’t matter who. You just need to know who has the final say in important decisions.

Or, have you mutually decided that each of you have 100% equal authority in the relationship? Great. Both of you need to be on board with it. And you need a respectful way to break the tie when you’re at odds.

Perhaps you split decision-making power into various segments of life. One of you is in charge of X. One of you is in charge of Y. Perfect! Divide the territory and conquer life together.

3. Under what circumstances would we end this relationship?

It’s a good idea not to casually throw around the words “divorce” or “break up.” Yet, you still may benefit by knowing under which circumstances the relationship would end.

What are those areas?

• Infidelity
• Criminal activity
• Drug abuse
• Financial irresponsibility
• After 5 years of total boredom?

What are the deal-breakers? Talk about it.

4. What bugs you most about me?

Rise the occasion and just ask for an honest answer. Do you want to live with a partner in life who is chronically bugged by you? Your partner doesn’t want to, either.

So, wait until you’re in a good space together and ask, “Hey, what do I do that bugs you the most?” Or, “If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?”

Hopefully, you can do something constructive with the answer. And why wouldn’t you change something that would make your partner happy – and happier with you?

5. What’s missing from our relationship?

Every relationship has room for improvement. Most relationships hold opportunity for greater fulfillment, even when the relationship is already healthy.

Dig into this one. Another way to ask: What would make our relationship even more fulfilling?

How can you co-create scenarios in which both of you are ecstatic? Find what’s missing and fill those gaps to overflowing!

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5 Zinger Questions To Transform Your Romantic Relationship

Mike Bundrant

Mike Bundrant is the author of Your Achilles Eel: Discover and Overcome the Hidden Cause of Negative Emotions, Bad Decisions and Self-Sabotage and co-founder at The iNLP Center which offers online certification in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and life coaching.

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APA Reference
Bundrant, M. (2015). 5 Zinger Questions To Transform Your Romantic Relationship. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 15, 2020, from


Last updated: 9 Sep 2015
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