Before we get in a tizzy over the title of this article, let me assure you that I have done more than my share of self-righteous, self-deceived self-victimization.
No judgment here. We’re all human and I call myself out as much as anyone. In fact, the following signs might be self-evident on any given day of my life.
For me, it’s not a question of being a self-righteous, self-deceived self-victim. We all are, to one degree or another. It’s more a question of being able to recognize it and make corrections when you can. And there are days when I fail at such self-awareness, too.
So, what’s a self-sabotaging, self-deceiving, self-victimizer?
It’s a person. An average, imperfect person! So, let’s poke a little fun at ourselves, shall we?
1. You’re upset when people do not meet your unexpressed needs.
2. You wallow in feelings of rejection after the person who always rejects you did it again.
3. You’re shocked and offended when the total jerk you decided to date turns out to be a total jerk.
4. You yell at your kids to get them to stop yelling.
5. You gossip in resentment of the biggest gossiper you know.
6. You’re so sick of people who complain.
7. You loathe your body after eating two pizzas and three bowls of ice cream.
8. You claim that you’d work harder if they paid you more than the pathetic salary you accepted.
9. You procrastinate because you have so much to do.
10. You resent obligations that you couldn’t refuse because you’re too nice.
11. You feel more accepting of others when you know you’re better than they are.
12. You plan on being nice to someone as soon as they are nice to you.
13. You have no idea why people can’t just see your point of view.
14. You give and give, and get little in return, and hate people for taking advantage of you.
15. You criticize yourself while wishing others would approve of you.
16. You disobey to get people off your back.
17. You know the world’s problems will end when people stop thinking they are the center of the universe.
18. You’d put forth more effort if you knew you weren’t going to fail.
19. You’d be more honest with yourself if you had self-respect.
20. You plan on being more altruistic when you’re rich.
Good ole self-sabotage. It bites us all in the butt time and time again. And we rarely see it coming. This is because self-sabotage is typically a self-deceptive act. We simultaneously set ourselves up for social and emotional failure, while convincing ourselves that it is the obvious thing to do, or is at least justified under the circumstances.
Isn’t it fun to be human and not understand how our own minds operate?
Still, if you’re looking for a clear and insightful rundown of how self-deceptive self-sabotage works so you can hope to avoid setting yourself up for immediate failure, then please watch this free and enlightening video.