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10 Fast Insights On Feeling Trapped in Social Situations

fearImagine: you’re stuck in a social situation with people that you don’t like or cannot relate to.

You’re uncomfortable, or even anxious. How are you supposed to react? What are you going to do to get out of this?

I don’t know! But here are ten fast insights that may get you thinking…

1. Maybe you are not supposed to be comfortable around everyone. After all, when you’re with people that you cannot relate to, how are you going to feel like you belong? You will not, and should not, feel like you belong in this social circle.

2. Still, just because you can’t relate, that doesn’t mean you need to get anxious. So, you can’t relate, or you don’t like the people you’re spending time with. So what? That’s nothing to worry about. Just get out of the situation and don’t look back. Done.

3. Of course, you may feel trapped. It might be inappropriate to just leave. You might be at a dinner gathering. Do you just get up and leave in the middle of the meal? This is a social dilemma, for sure. It would cause some understandable inner debate.

4. Yes, get up and leave. No problem. After all, what do you want from these people? Do you think you’ll miss out on their approval? Well, you will. But you don’t need their approval, do you? After all, these are people with whom you cannot relate.

5. Still, you may be punishing yourself on the inside for not being comfortable among people in general – or being able to keep yourself together. In this case, your issue is not necessarily discomfort with the social situation, but with self-punishment. Focus on your tendency to punish yourself unjustly. When you can stop doing that, your social discomfort may diminish as a bonus.

6. Shouldn’t you stop judging people as ‘unrelatable’? Not necessarily. Either you can relate or not. You may be incompatible with others. Friendships are based on compatibility. Just because you can’t relate to someone doesn’t mean you are judging them as good or bad.

7. Social comfort has a lot to do with being around people with whom you can genuinely relate. You cannot genuinely relate to everyone. Seek out people around whom you are naturally comfortable.

8. Of course you can go the other way, too. Stay there and make the best of it. How to do this? Choose one person and start finding great things about them. Pretend you’re the most enlightened person in the world who only sees greatness in others. What do you see that is great about this person?

9. Take it a step further – and offer a compliment to this great person. After all, compliments build rapport. When there is rapport, people tend to relax. Could help.

10. Or, imagine getting through this situation – you always do somehow. When it’s all over, there you are, still in one piece. You can relax and know that your life goes on. You can even be proud of yourself. Keep this in mind as you grin and bear it!

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10 Fast Insights On Feeling Trapped in Social Situations

Mike Bundrant

Mike Bundrant is the author of Your Achilles Eel: Discover and Overcome the Hidden Cause of Negative Emotions, Bad Decisions and Self-Sabotage and co-founder at The iNLP Center which offers online certification in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and life coaching.

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APA Reference
Bundrant, M. (2015). 10 Fast Insights On Feeling Trapped in Social Situations. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 11, 2020, from


Last updated: 10 Aug 2015
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