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Three Simple Steps to Melt your Worries

emotionalpainIt’s easy to dismiss a worrier. Oh, stop worrying so much. Nothing bad is happening.

What we miss when we give this banal advice is this: Worrying is extremely uncomfortable. To the one with the worries, stopping would be a welcome relief! Besides, most of the time a worrier already knows, logically, that there is often nothing to worry about.

To stop irrational worry, it might be helpful to redirect your attention in the following way.

Get grounded in the present. Follow these three steps:

Of course worrying happens in the present, too. So, merely connecting to present is not enough. You’ve got to connect with the external present. This means, your immediate environment. We know in NLP that it is very simple to do this through seeing, hearing and feeling (VAK Model).

1. Seeing: Write your worries down. Look at them on paper.

2. Then, move to hearing in a particular way. Tune into some mundane sound, like the sound of a fan or the hum of the refrigerator, or the sound of distant traffic. Just tune in and let your mind fixate on the sound. It will absolutely calm you. You’ll begin to feel more grounded in 10-15 seconds.

3. Next use feelings in a particular way. Again, it’s external feelings that matter here. Feel the texture of a piece of fabric, such as your blue jeans or upholstery. Or, feel the temperature of the side of your computer. Really get a sense of the contact with your skin. Again, once you’re really aware of this, you should feel more grounded in the present moment.

These are skills you can use anytime you feel worried, or when your mind is cluttered with bothersome thoughts.

So try it!

For an additional method of handling worry, read this short article. It teaches you how to use your imagination in a particular way to melt worry. In fact, if you do this visualization well, it might even be impossible for you to hold onto worry.

Yet, if your worry is so resistant and persistent that no intervention can touch it, then you might consider that it is part of a psychological attachment. Psychological attachments create self-sabotage on autopilot. To learn how they work and how to move beyond them, watch this unique, free video.

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Three Simple Steps to Melt your Worries

Mike Bundrant

Mike Bundrant is the author of Your Achilles Eel: Discover and Overcome the Hidden Cause of Negative Emotions, Bad Decisions and Self-Sabotage and co-founder at The iNLP Center which offers online certification in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and life coaching.

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APA Reference
Bundrant, M. (2015). Three Simple Steps to Melt your Worries. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 15, 2020, from


Last updated: 21 Apr 2015
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