Anxiety, Depression and Lockdown: Surrendering the Need to Control

While dealing with some recent trauma, I had been voluntarily socially distancing myself for the last two years. And I was finally getting ready to go out into the world again right before lockdown started. I had signed up for yoga classes and went three times in the first week. I had attended an optional work event. I was beginning to see family and friends. I was even considering going to a support group. Then came lockdown. Putting an immediate halt to my ability to be out in the world again. Making me feel depressed and anxious all over again. As I’m sure so many of you are feeling right now too. 

Auditory Processing

PTSD, SPD and Chronic Pain: How to Heal When You Don’t Have Access to Your Healers

Even though I am healthy and safe in my home, I can feel the chaos amid this pandemic. In my body. Scrambling and scattering my mind. Taking away my schedule and routines. Making me feel even more off than usual. And causing my system to be unregulated. Tense. Stiff. Inflexible. Immobile.

And it’s not just that I’m feeling off, it's that I don’t have access to my healers. That it’s not even an option to see them. A missing light at the end of the pain tunnel. So I have no choice but to try to heal myself. And I’m left to my own devices. 


PTSD, PMDD and Menstruation: My First Moon Lodge (and 10 Tips for Creating Yours)

My menstrual cycle often ends badly. In tears. Screams. Fits of rage. My PTSD and PMDD symptoms become exasperated, and I dissociate often. Pulling me out of the present and leaving my tired shell to deal. Making my depression and anxiety worsen. And preventing any healing from taking place. It is agonizing. Soul sucking. And so draining that I usually end up unable to speak. To think. To function. But, I’ve been healing more and have been attuned to the knowledge that maybe this time has historically been so awful for me because it is urging me to pay attention. To move inward. To listen to myself. To heal. And so, considering this was also the week of the Super Pink Full Moon, my first moon lodge was born. To give me a space to sit with myself and to heal. 


Anxiety, Depression and COVID-19: Now’s the Time to Feel Our Feelings — Here’s 8 Ways How to

We are in an anxious time. We are worried. Fearful. And ill at ease. Things are changing. Our schedules and routines. The ways we engage with others. And things are staying the same. The exact same. Day after day. Without going to work and having social calendars to adhere to, we’ve all found ourselves with more time in the day. More time to relax. To think. To stand still. And stillness is exactly what we need. Stillness in our communities. In our households. In ourselves. For being still is when we learn the most. When we connect the most. To others and to ourselves.

It's when we're still that we feel our feelings. When our feelings surface the most. Perhaps why some of us stay so busy. For it’s easy to avoid your feelings when you don’t have a free moment. When you don’t take the time to do nothing. And now that is exactly what we must do.


Anxiety, Depression and Fight-or-flight Response: 16 Ways to Cope with Coronavirus, Quarantine and Self-isolation

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling scattered. Anxious. Overwhelmed. Between my routines and schedules changing and feeling stuck in my house, my body is struggling to remain regulated. Not to mention how receiving all the information surrounding the coronavirus is making me feel. The information that works like a double-edged sword: I want to stay connected to what’s happening and to friends and family, but hearing about the overwhelmingness of this pandemic in every conversation is engaging my fear response. Making me feel on edge. Depressed. Triggering my fight-or-flight response. Turning my world upside down. 


Anxiety, Depression and Self-care: Meeting Yourself Where You’re at When You’re Overwhelmed

Lately, I’ve been trying to be aware not to push myself. Not to put unrealistic expectations on myself. Not to lose myself in the work and the plans and the errands. Not to become overwhelmed amid the recent schedule changes and chaos that the spread of the coronavirus has brought. I’ve been trying to be more mindful. More present. And to meet myself where I’m at. 


Anxiety, Depression and Dissociation: How Being in the Present Will Bring You Back to Yourself

I’ve been on a healing journey for quite some time now. Where I need quiet. To be able to think. To be able to write. Where I need to eat nourishing foods. Where I need to adhere to a schedule. To follow a sensory diet. To keep my nervous system regulated. Where I need to practice meditation and yoga. To set intentions. To move through the pain. And where I practice staying in the present. Not moving too much into the future (ahem, anxiety). Not moving too much into the past (ahem, depression). And not fleeing my body altogether (ahem, dissociation).

So I decided to go to Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. Thinking I was going for the writing and the yoga. Thinking this trip would fulfill two purposes. But it ended up fulfilling so much more.