Why Can’t I Cry? The Importance of Self-Compassion

I've got the leakiest tear ducts on the planets. Seems like I'm always sniffling about this or weeping about that. If it's not adorable videos of babies making my eyes well up, it's videos of ecstatic dogs welcoming their master home from serving overseas. Any sentimental YouTube video can get me hullabalooing into my hankie in no time. It came as quite a shock to my husband when we married in 2012. Now he thinks I'm both hysterical funny and extremely soft-hearted.

There's only one scenario where my tear ducts dry up. My own pain. I simply cannot cry for myself. Tried it. Made all the right noises. Huffed and puffed. Nothin'. Eyes remained dry as a bone.

And it's a huge problem. Tears aren't just salty water. Their chemical compositions vary depending on the emotion that stimulated them. Even their structure when seen under a microscope is vastly different depending on the scenario. Personally, I can feel my heart aching behind my eyes. It's a kind of burning, kind of pressurized sensation behind my eyeballs. Only tears release the pain in both my eyes and my heart. It feels like tears purge the toxic chemicals in the tears, but perhaps I'm just being fanciful.

Which brings us back to the original problem. I can't cry. And too often my original pain becomes translated into the secondary emotion of anger.


You’re SO Emotional!

If I had a dollar for every time I heard, "Lenora, you're SO emotional," I'd be a rich woman today. Were you subjected to this denigration too? Does it ring any bells? If Grandsire Triples are going off in your bell tower, my sympathies. Let's explore this phenomenon together, shall we?

First, the hard truth. At times all humans are overly emotional. We are human and therefore at times we are indeed too emotional. What can I say? Sh*t happens.

But that's not what this article is about. It's about situations where we felt valid emotions, strong emotions, appropriate emotions.  Situations where other people impatiently shamed us not only for feeling these emotions but also angrily shamed us for daring to express them. The legacy and ramifications of this shame is with us still today.

False Guilt

Denial, Denial, Denial: The Bane of My Existence

I'm never alone. Denial is my constant companion. She wakes me in the morning, stays close by my side all the day and sings me to sleep at night. I'm never free of her. Never alone. Never totally at peace.

Did you ever watch Frank Capra's masterpiece It Happened One Night starring Clark Gable and the equally gorgeous Claudette Colbert. Remember that iconic "piggybacking" scene? Well, Claudette called it piggybacking, although I suppose technically speaking it wasn't really piggybacking.


What Is A Narcissist?

I'm going to say something very weird, very off-putting. So stick with me here.

Narcissists are incredibly logical, yes logical, in a twisted kind of a way.

They all think, more or less, in the same illogically logical ways. That's why they're so easy to identify and so easy to understand.

False Guilt

Introducing “Narcissism Meets Normalcy”: Let the Healing Begin

Life not working for ya? You may have been raised by narcissists.

Hey! Thanks for dropping by! Welcome to "Narcissism Meets Normalcy."

My name is Lenora Thompson and I was raised by narcissists...the engulfing kind. They engulfed, smothered, helicoptered, punished, shamed, controlled, brainwashed, criticized, second-guessed, imprisoned and otherwise nearly ruined my life for thirty-one years.

And I'm not the only one! If you too were...