This may be the most hated article I will ever write for Narcissism Meets Normalcy. My challenge, if I choose to accept it, is to make you feel empathy for the narcissist's Golden Child. That's a tall order as, after reading your comments, I've learned that Scapegoated ACONs despise their Golden Child ACON siblings. Well, I've been toying with this topic for weeks and by George! I'm going for it! I think we need to take a second glance at Golden Children and see if, maybe just maybe, being the Golden Child is a special kind of nightmare and they actually deserve our empathy.
Dingbat, she was indeed, but she was our dingbat and we loved her for it! Edith Bunker — fluttery, silly, easily confused and bamboozled. Edith Bunker — loving, giving, faithful, patient, honest, long-suffering and servant-hearted. Edith Bunker — wife of narcissist, Archie Bunker on All in the Family. In this article we're setting ourselves the fascinating exercise of learning from Edith Bunker on how to successfully be the wife of a narcissistic man. How did Edith do it for so long without losing her temper or her sanity? What can we learn from Edith on how to be married to a narcissist and be happy.
Oh, Archie. You're such a narcissist, Archie! It didn't strike me when I first started watching All in the Family years ago that what made it so entertaining was, of course, Archie Bunker's narcissism. But scratch any good drama and you'll usually find a narcissist at the bottom, creating the drama.
There's a particular scene in the Julie & Julia movie that inspired this article and never fails to move me to tears. It's the scene where Julia Child (played by Meryl Streep on platform shoes) is tearfully telling her husband, Paul (Stanley Tucci), that her massive tome Mastering the Art of French Cooking has been rejected by publisher Houghton Mifflin.
Recently I ran across a story about a woman who was raised, married and (basically) enslaved in a cult for many years. One of the cult's dogmas was that the female members leave school as soon as legally possible without receiving their High School Diploma.
In this article, we're discussing how narcissists use excuses like "artist" and "genius" to rationalize outrageous abuse. Please click here to read Part 1.
Of course, we're all equal. But like George Orwell said in Animal Farm, "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others." History has proven that if you're in the right crowd or have the right amount of money, you can pretty much do and say anything to anyone and get away with it. So it has always been; so it shall always be. It shouldn't be that way. It's not right nor just, but that's how the world works. Apparently. And never more so than if you are an artist. Ever since Caravaggio attempted to castrate Tomassoni with a sword, and oops! punctured his femoral artery instead, great artists, dancers, playwrights, singers, actors, actresses, etc. have insisted that they can't be expected to comply with the rules-for-correct-behavior for "normal people" like you and me because they're artists and geniuses.
All autobiographies serve a purpose beyond income, fame and book tours. They are the author's opportunity to redefine themselves as they see themselves. A scoundrel's autobiography is his or her big chance to whitewash their identity and try to make their shocking actions somehow "okay." An honest person's autobiography is their big chance to tell their side of the story and divulge the details no one knew, until now, to recapture the good reputation they may've lost through being the victim of gossip, lies and secrets. They will come off smelling like a rose. In both cases, the autobiography is all about defining yourself.
A narcissist is a lot like a politician. All politicians are beloved in the eyes of their supporters; most narcissists are adored by someone. To those people, they can do no wrong. The same politician may be despised by their opponents; a lot of narcissists are despised too. And then there are others who are torn, seeing both the good and the bad in that politician, for politicians, like narcissists, are neither all good nor all bad.
There should be a new abbreviation. We have "ACONs" or Adult Children of Narcissists. But we need a new one: ACONKs. Adult Children of Narcissists' Kids. Because it's a thing. A very "thingish thing" as Winnie the Pooh would say.