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Empathetic

Forgiveness: It’s NOT What You Think!

Growing up, on our Living Room wall hung an interior decorating picture. It was based on Corinthians 13, the Loooooove Chapter. Your mother probably had one too. There were nine boxes and inside each box was a calligraphy excerpt from Corinthians 13: "Love is patient. Love is kind..."

One of the boxes said, "Love forgives all things." From what I saw at home, that meant that love had to tolerate abuse and come up smiling, forgiving, coming back to be raged at again and again, hoping things would change when they never did. And that's when I began having grave doubts.



C-PTSD

Falling Into “Like”: A Love Story

According to Vocabulary.com, the phrase "falling in love" has been around since the 1500's. Everytime you turn around, someone is falling into or out of love. Seems like songs are about just one thing: love, love, love, love, love, love.

Still no one can define love. Shakespeare took a pretty good stab at it. But even our most silver-tongued poets have tried...and failed.



Abusive Family

Living A Lie: The False Identity All Scapegoats (and some step-parents) Must Bear

"You should write a book," Michael sometimes tells me.

"I don't wanna write a book," says I. "You know I have the attention span of a gnat."

"But you'd be good at it."

"Okay, okay. I'll write a book about you. I'll write about your life for your children so they really know their father. You've had enough adventures for five lifetimes. I swear your Guardian Angels stagger into the Break Room after their shift, grab a cup of coffee, collapse in a chair and tell the next shift of angels, 'Heads up, boys! He's in rare form today. You won't believe what I saved him from this time'!"

Michael just laughs. "Don't bother," he says, "my kids won't believe a word."



General

Bye, Bye Possessions Tainted with Bad Memories!

Bad Gift Giving: One of the hallmarks of narcissists! They may give gifts but it's usually something incredibly cheap or something they like or what they think we should like because they like it. The most brilliant explanation of it came in an episode of Frasier. I wrote all about it in Narcissists and Gift Giving.

In this set of two articles (click here for Part 1), we're talking about purging our lives of physical possessions that are tainted with narcissistic abuse, stuff that reeks of bad memories. One of the most emotionally-charged and hated items I've sold was the big topaz ring (pictured above) that my parents gave me on my High School Graduation Day.

Why did I hate it so much? Well, first you need to read Part 1 of this article. Then what's written below will make much more sense!



Dejunking

Purging! The Courage to Get Rid of “Heirlooms” Tainted With Bad Memories

Like a Norwegian Atlas, Michael stood on the townhome balcony, his arms fully extended above his head. In his hands, he held the family heirloom glass-topped coffeetable. It had pride of place in his childhood home and had followed his family to every home they owned in MN, WI, AK, NE. When the table was given to us, my new mother-in-law had shaken her finger in my face and given me a lecture about "taking care of it."



Age of Emancipation

An Imaginary Conversation With My 22-Year-Old Self

What if you could go back in time and share some wisdom with your younger self. The self that doesn't know about narcissism but would benefit from what you know now. That's what this article is. A conversation between my 39-year-old-self and my 22-year-old self. It's written in the form of a dialogue but, just like a telephone conversation, you can only hear one side. The side spoken by 39-year-old me. I had so much fun writing this and hope you enjoy it just as much.


General

Humor and Humility: Two Fell Blows to Narcissism

Consider this scenario: You come home from a long, stressful day at your workplace. You're stressed out, maxed out and burned out. Someone got their ego hurt and their knickers in a bundle at the office and all Hell broke loose...again. You're grateful the drama is over for today but you're dreading tomorrow. So you throw a Hungry Man dinner in the microwave, grab a cold beer and turn on the television.



General

What If Narcissism Never Existed in Your Timeline!? Oh, Happy Day!

Every so often, Michael and I get on this massive time travel kick. Doctor Who plays 24/7 at our house. For those of you who aren't addicted to the BBC, Doctor Who is a brilliant geeky show where the Time Lord known as Doctor Who, preferably played by the frenetically hilarious David Tennant, travels in time and space, often fixing The Past to protect The Future of the human race.