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Narcissists: Stealing Your Hobbies, Appropriating Your Interests

I'm indebted to Irish fiddler, Frankie Gavin, for inspiring this article. During a Masterclass on YouTube, he made an off-hand comment that when he was learning to play fiddle, he had to practice anywhere except at home because of his father's endless criticisms. That's when it all came back to me.

An oft overlooked facet of narcissism is the way they either appropriate our hobbies as their own or make them so hateful, that we quit of our own accord. See if this sounds familiar.



Boundaries

Are You An Emotion Dumping Ground for the Trauma Bonded?

We all know someone like this. They're upset. They're unhappy. They complain, bellyache and "cry on your shoulder" for an hour, or two, or five...and then go merrily back to their unhappy life leaving you wallowing in their emotional sewage.

Wash-rinse-repeat.

I've watched this happen to very sweet, caring people I loved going all the way back to the 1980s and it's hard on them. They care so much and get so upset that all their autoimmunes go crazy...fibro flare-ups, migraines, insomnia.



#metoo

How Do Some Narcissists Raise Such GOOD Kids??? (Parts 1 and 2)

Not every child of narcissistic parents becomes a narcissist like them. There are a lot of good Adult Children of Narcissists (ACONs) out here. Nice kids of narcissists. ACONs with soft hearts who always try to figure out the right thing to do...even when manipulated into atrociously wrong situations.

If you're reading this, then you're probably a Good Kid of a Narcissistic Parent. You were raised to be morally scrupulous, honest-to-a-fault, caring, unselfish and humble. Codependent...obviously. But more-or-less normal...whatever that is. Basically the opposite of them.

But that leads to a burning question. A question that underpins the problem of Denial.
"How could my parents possibly be narcissists,
if I turned out nominally normal
and devoted to morality and goodness?"

Implied in that is...
"Why do my parents not follow the ideals they taught me?
How could they be so hypocritical!?!"


Bait-and-Switch

Revisiting The Nice-Nasty-Nice-Nasty Carrot-and-Stick Pattern

In September 2017, I wrote an article titled The Nice-Nasty-Nice-Nasty Narcissistic Carrot-and-Stick Pattern.  It was one of those articles that "writes itself" because I merely had to copy->paste what someone else had written (in no particular order) and add a little narrative along the way. Two-and-a-half years later, it's a particularly apropos time to dust off the old article, update it just a smidgen and take it for a spin as the original writer of the quotes is now insisting that they actually do "care" and that I "don't know" them at all.

I beg to differ...and have their words to prove it.

As the old adage goes, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." And now for your reading enjoyment, here is the updated version of The Nice-Nasty-Nice-Nasty Narcissistic Carrot-and-Stick Pattern:



Art

Living Richly In Isolation: The Mind May Freely Roam

The world is rediscovering what introverts always knewWhile your body may be isolated, your mind is always free. Regardless of your situation, your mind may freely roam...and sheep may safely graze. (Just a little "yoke" for you Bach geeks.)

We work so hard, day in and day out, to afford and furnish our homes yet spend so little time in them. This isolation thing may be the first time in years that many people have spent significant unbroken time enjoying their own homes and families.



Boundaries

Mask and Gloves: Feelings of Being “The Weird Kid” Revisited

Last Tuesday was the last time I left the house. It'd been a fortnight since I last went grocery shopping, so we needed a little bit of everything. Because of Michael's pre-existing health issues, naturally I went prepared: gloves, mask, Lysol.

"Surely," thought I, "this is our new normal. There will be others wearing masks. After all, even vain celebrities are wearing gloves and masks."



Coronavirus

Tips for Self-Isolation: Here’s How To Be Happy Being Home 24/7

We all dream of the day we can stay home all day. Waking naturally at any hour without an alarm clock, padding around in our PJs, doing whatever we want, whenever we want. Bliss!

Usually we have to wait for retirement, but due to the coronavirus, many of you may find yourselves spending twenty-fours  hours in your home,  day after day, perhaps for the first time ever.



Evil

Narcissism: Getting Back to Basics

Four hundred and thirty articles later...

If you write about narcissism as much as I do, sooner or later, it takes on a life of its own. The more you sink your teeth into the topic, the more the term "narcissist" conjures up a mental image of two horns and a forked tail.

That's just not right.

That's why I've wanted to write this "Back to Basics" article for quite some time. To try to dispel the caricature narcissism has taken on while boiling down narcissism to the most succinct summary possible. The "lowest common denominator," if you will.