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Anxiety

An Open Letter to a Christian High School Principal

[Note  from the Author: In most of my articles, I fear I go too far and then find out I've pulled my punches. That is true of this article. There was much more that happened at this particular school, during and before my time there, that I'm only just hearing about now. Shocking stories that need to be told! The Principal I wrote this letter too is obviously not responsible for what occurred before his tenure.) My graduating class is a trainwreck, Mr. Principal, and you're responsible.

Well, that's a little harsh, a little unfair. But there's a lot of truth in it. You pretended to run a Christian School. It was nothing of the sort and you knew it! You took our parents' tuition money under false pretenses. Or maybe that's why our parents sent us there. Many of them were fake narcissistic so-called Christians too and your thick handbook of extreme rules appealed to their need to suppress, oppress, project-upon, guilt and shame their innocent children just like you did.

There's an old cliché: Water will find its own level. Considering the swamp mud you attracted to your school...!



Church

The Three Jesuses of Narcissists

I've met a lot of "Jesuses" in my time. They were preached and modeled for me at home, at church and at religious school. Each Jesus was a little bit different from the other Jesuses.

But when I read the Gospels, I meet yet another Jesus. One who says, "My yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Ha! You gotta be joking me.

No one ever introduced me to Him.



Envy

The Narcissist of Downton Abbey

How are we going to survive the endless five month wait until the new Downton Abbey movie is released in September!? I'm coping by rewatching all six seasons of the TV show. It's amazing how much I've forgotten since I first watched Downton Abbey two years ago so it all seems fresh and new again.



clairvoyance

Narcissists’ Clairvoyance and Carrying Our False Guilt to the Nth Degree

When you look back at old photographs of the narcissistic parents who raised you, does it ever seem utterly incongruous that you were ever in their charge? Their child? Sometimes I look back and think, "What was I doing there!?" I look at online copies of my parents' Senior High School yearbooks and think, "And they became my parents. To me, they were God on Earth. What was I thinking!?!"



General

What Now!? Life After Narcissistic Abuse

There's one "good" thing that can be said for narcissists: they sure keep life interesting! They provide lots of mental fodder to keep "the little gray cells," as Hercules Poirot called them, fed, watered and grinding away. I'm not saying it's good fodder that uplifts us or makes us happy. No! But mental fodder is mental fodder. The brain isn't picky; it just needs something to "chew" on. Misery works just as well as anything else — sometimes better!



General

Common Sense, Humor and Other Lessons Narcissists Don’t Teach their Children

As I reparent myself after a narcissistic upbringing, more and more I realize, as if for the very first time, facts about life and living that are so basic they're like dirt. It underpins everything but no one ever talks about it.

Narcissists may teach their children many things, both good and bad. I learned how to change a tire, bake bread, fill out a Form 1040 and to distrust and loath myself. But I didn't learn how to think about life and people (including myself) in  a realistic way with clarity and yes, even humor.

In this longish article, I'm happy to share with you the common-as-dirt life philosophies I'm discovering and learning.