37 thoughts on “If (Fill-In-The-Blank)…You Might Be a Narcissist (Pt 1)

  • March 6, 2016 at 2:54 pm

    If your spouse asks you to get him another breakfast roll while he’s sitting in his recliner and you’re on crutches with a broken foot, he might be a narcissist.

    • March 6, 2016 at 3:51 pm

      Oh, dear. Can’t even be bothered to lend you a hand!? Sad.

  • March 6, 2016 at 3:32 pm

    If….. you claim your ex wife (in another state), your ex girlfriend, your 14yo daughter (in another state) and your girlfriends daughter are all responsible for your child sex offence conviction which you pled guilty too,the details of which is published on a government website, while professing to be the world’s greatest dad and everyone else is just out to ruin your life…..then you might be a narcisscist.

    • March 6, 2016 at 3:34 pm

      He has done the majority on your list at one stage or another also. Including saying he is laying on the highway waiting for a truck and police finding him eating doriotos watching TV

      • March 6, 2016 at 3:54 pm

        I’m always amazed how consistent narcissists are and how similar to each other. Wow!

    • March 6, 2016 at 3:52 pm

      Yep, I think he just might be! Good grief!

      • March 6, 2016 at 3:57 pm

        He handed himself into police the whole case was based on physical and digital evidence. Once he knew he was discovered and no one would lie for him he walked himself in.

        No one even got a chance to testify, yet his crime is everyone else’s fault according to those who have spoken to him since his release.

        (she was worried he was going to suicide, I told her never worry about him suiciding he is the only man on earth who could say he was going to kill himself and I wouldn’t believe it for a second.)

  • March 6, 2016 at 5:06 pm

    If your “other girlfriend” calls your girlfriend of 10 years to say her boyfriend is cheating on her with 10 yr (& a 6 yr old) AND shw broke up because she found out about another “girlfriend” you might be a narcissist.

    If your 6 yr old calls you by your first name and you hang up on them, yell & berate them, and then tell the 10 yr girlfriend she did it, you might be a narcissist.

    If you lied & cheated on your 10 yr girlfriend for years and with unknown amounts of women but it’s her fault, you might be a narcissist.

    If your family doesn’t know about your 19 yr girlfriend & 6 yr old child because then you couldn’t take the other woen around them, you might be a narcissist.

    If you want to tell your 19 yr girlfriend what a horrible mother she is but you haven’t really stepped up to be a dad, you might be a narcissist.

    This is fun….shall I go on??? I have 10 years of this stuff.

    • March 6, 2016 at 5:29 pm

      Oh, please, do go on! It might for the basis for next month’s “If…Then Narc” article!

      ~ Lenora

      • March 6, 2016 at 5:53 pm

        I have many more…lol. Will post later.

  • March 6, 2016 at 8:39 pm

    If you tell every intimate partner you’ve ever had that “you are THE one I’ve been waiting my whole life for” you just might be a narcissist.

    • March 6, 2016 at 9:28 pm

      Ah, another “Ol’ Romantic”! Thanks for sharing.

      ~ Lenora

  • March 6, 2016 at 8:44 pm

    If everything bad that has ever happened to you during your entire life was clearly the fault of other people, you just might be a narcissist.

  • March 6, 2016 at 8:47 pm

    So if he is living off his rich girlfriend, in a high rise condo in downtown Vancouver…..but tells me he will be living on the streets because his wages are being garnished $300 every two weeks for a $12000 debt to me???

    • March 6, 2016 at 9:25 pm

      Well, that’s narcissistic mathematics for ya! Thanks for sharing. πŸ™‚

      ~ Lenora

  • March 7, 2016 at 2:22 am

    If your daughter gives you a gift for her brother, and instead you take it for yourself…you might be a narcissist.
    If you pee all over the outdoor mats in front of the camper your daughter and her husband are letting you stay in…you might be a narcissist.
    If you pee in what used to be a nice container to hold cutlery in that same camper your daughter and her husband are letting you stay in…you might be a narcissist. (actually have a video of my husbands complete disgust upon finding this “farewell present” haha)
    If you refuse to hear your daughters mothers name, and your sons mothers name brought up in conversation…you might be a narcissist.
    If you lie to your daughter about meeting her adoptive parents before signing the parents…you might be a narcissist.
    If you get roaring drunk the first time your daughter meets her birth family, pass out in Grandma’s bathroom and smoke in it(assisted living complex, BIG no no) while your daughter awkwardly makes smalltalk….you might be a narcissist.
    If you ask your daughter to lock your trailer for you, than upon coming home are unable to operate a set of keys, berate her for being stupid and for stupidly locking a part of the door that doesn’t lock….you might be a drunk moron. Or a drunk moronic narcissist πŸ˜‰

    Love your work Lenora!! Keep it up!!

    • March 7, 2016 at 10:10 am

      Oh…my…goodness! Thanks so much for sharing, Meg!

      ~ Lenora

  • March 7, 2016 at 9:48 am

    Wow, some of these are so outrageous (particularly the ones about threatening suicide then being found stuffing your face…guess I’m in a dark humor moood today), it actually is funny. I have actually worried in the past that I’m a narcissist…but almost all of these are unthinkable to me. I suppose I’m fortunate enough to have never experienced anything like this, either.

    Except now I worry this post is narcissistic.

    Wishing the best to all of you, in coping/escaping/recovering, whatever you’re dealing with.

    • March 7, 2016 at 10:10 am

      And if you’re worried about being a narcissist, then you’re probably NOT one, Sci! Thanks for the comment.

      ~ Lenora

  • March 7, 2016 at 8:29 pm

    If you have abandoned your daughter and wife in the hospital with a mental breakdown and broken bones/ bruises (from husband) from your antics while you go out with your friends on a Friday night (husband) or claim your daughters children need to be cared for and don’t have a sitter (my brother was home and she has friends) then you might be a narcissist.

    Or if you sat straddled on your best friends boyfriend while doing something sexual to his chest then call your friend jealous and insecure you might be a narcissist.

    Or if you yelled to your daughter 1 month after she was released from the hospital that she should be over all this and not on the phone (talking to lawyers, CPS, finding a job) all the time well then you might be a narcissist.

  • March 9, 2016 at 3:51 pm

    oh some I forgot…

    If when called because the mother of your children is in the hospital in the high dependency unit being pumped with IV antibiotics for the better part of a week while being threatened with emergency surgery because due to a Quincy she is unable to speak, eat or drink and is severely ill. Your Answer is to have the phone put to her ear and to tell her “Get your F***ing Fat A*** off your death bed and collect your children from school….” before hanging up, You might be a Narcissist.

    If your Answer to Preventing someone finding out that you have emptied all 4 bank accounts they have is to Pull the Hand Brake on while they are driving down the Highway on their way to the Bank to find out why their Balances are NIL almost causing a four car Pile Up….you might be a narcissist.

    If your method of obtaining compliance from your under 10 yo children is to tell them you will kill them or their mother if they don’t do as they are told….you may be a narcissist.

  • March 9, 2016 at 3:59 pm

    oh don’t worry about me we left in 2005 have had an IVO against him since Late 2014

  • March 10, 2016 at 3:09 am

    If you work yourself into a violent rage fueled by nothing but your imagination; proceed to put words in other peoples mouths (and then tell them of for it); carry on to beat the people around you down either verbally or physically… you might be a narcissist.

  • April 5, 2016 at 7:02 pm

    If you try to point out all the “bad” things about all your daughters friends or boyfriends (even though they’re just things that make them human), in the hopes that she will get rid of them all because they aren’t “good enough” for her, you might be a narcissist.

    If you tell your daughter that she can’t even get a drivers permit to learn to drive, because then that means she will get her license and be gone all the time and recklessly drive and might kill herself, and throw a huge fit and yell at her for wanting that independence, you might be a narcissist.

    If you yell at your daughter and call her a “little bitch” simply because she’s tired of being accused of things that aren’t true and wants to defend herself, you might be a narcissist.

    If you tell your daughter that because she made so many mistakes (even though that’s apart of growing up and learning) that she can’t pursue other goals (like a different career choice) because the “world is not her oyster right now” and basically imply that she cannot grow from anything and is stuck, you might be a narcissist.

    There’s way too many.

    • April 5, 2016 at 7:16 pm

      I relate to almost everything you said…but it wasn’t quite that bad for me!

      ~ L

    • April 5, 2016 at 7:18 pm

      Also that “get rid of all the boyfriends” thing smacks of covert incest!

  • May 16, 2016 at 7:09 pm

    Fashion plates:

    If you vilify your daughter for quitting the fam business and threaten her and mock her and constantly undermine her integrity and motives (aka a greedy bum) and you do this constantly and at every opportunity because she is “not contributing” and struggling to find any kind of decent income without being abused, and when she is struggling to just stay alive and even WANT to live and if you get bailed out by your millionaire GC son a few times, and if your other doting wealthy daughter lavishes expensive gifts on you–which you feel you “deserve.” If you have big flat screens and travel extensively and have plenty of income coming in and if you are constantly hostile toward your poor Cinderella daughter for needing a roof over her head for awhile and any old crap vehicle to get from point A to B, (even tho you have half a dozen other nicer vehicles), and you constantly whine and attack and guilt trip her for being such a “burden” and a worthless mooching bum, well then, arsehole, you are quite the hypocritical narcissist.

    • May 16, 2016 at 7:41 pm

      If you, on one particular instance during the trying time mentioned above, start mocking her “expensive” snack food choices–we’re talking here about the rare time I wanted some $3 dip, (among other things like how long she spent in the bathroom bathing, etc), because apparently someone who isn’t “contributing” shouldnt have any small indulgences or joy in life and only get to eat hay and sticks, then you got some real issues and are probably a narc.

      Tho I’m really having a hard time finding the humor here. The only good part is that this is over now.

  • June 14, 2016 at 4:26 pm

    If on every holiday/birthday/event your hubby/wife/family member ruins it, you might have a narcissist.
    If, you are left to take care of ALL responsibility, Including paying bills, make appts, house and child care, while the other party says you contribute nothing bc “you don’t have an income”, then you might have a narcissist.
    If, one of these responsibilities goes wrong, your fault or not, and the other party again tells you that you can’t handle anything, you might have a narcissist.(I believe they use this as just another way to blame. You see, it was YOUR fault it wasn’t done correctly.)
    If, you clean your whole house, have dinner ready, and his clothes laid out for him, but didn’t wash a few dishes and he flies into a rage about how hard he works, you might have a narcissist.(And then you find out he’s raging bc he’s talking to other girls on the net while you walk on eggshells) yah.
    If, you are so ill that you can’t bare to move and ask your partner to pick up some food bc he PASSES RIGHT BY IT, and he refused simply bc he doesnt want to take 5 min out of his tine,and you have to drive to the store WITH your child, you might have a narcissist.
    If you were once a strong, confident, happy individual who is now so insecure about making any lil mistake, you might have a narcissist,but you may also be a codependent.

  • December 3, 2016 at 3:35 am

    If you cant be bothered to take your eyes away from your computer to help your second grader get ready for school, even though you woke her only 20 minutes before school starts (when you’ve been awake for hours), then berate her for procrastinating when you miss the bus, you might be a narrassist.

    If you “accidentally” purchased the wrong expensive Christmas present for your spouse, but then kept it for yourself anyway, you might be a narrassist.

    If you oversleep and forfeited the hotel suite & comedy show your spouse planned out for you two on her birthday then yelled at her because she “purposely” woke you up late and blamed her for “sabotaging” the evening away, you might be a narrassist.

  • March 6, 2016 at 3:53 pm

    They are all you had to be there moments… they can’t even see how manipulative and Controlling their own behaviour is….

    I have even been dragged out of a store I WORKED IN by my ear because I was going to spend 50 cents on an end of range pair of track pants for my step daughter

  • March 6, 2016 at 3:56 pm

    And yet, when called on the carpet, they rationalize and make excuses. Doesn’t that demonstrate they do have a conscience? Thoughts?

  • March 6, 2016 at 3:58 pm

    Oh they definitely know what they are doing…..

    The only thing that matters to them is them though….

  • March 6, 2016 at 4:08 pm

    Cornering them in such a way that they have no option but to actually admit the consequences and impact on others around them is another matter. Only managed it twice in 15 years….not sure the tears were genuine but he had a complete breakdown admitting it….an hour later was like it never happened.

    I have watched it build complete fictional realities he lives in….he is very careful to keep groups of people separated so they can’t compare notes.

    If you give him an answer he doesn’t want to hear he will tell you what he wants to hear until you say it….

  • March 6, 2016 at 4:14 pm

    So, that’s why they’re responsible for their crimes in court. Otherwise, a claim of insanity would get them all off Scott-free, eh.


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