4 thoughts on “How I Survived Narcissistic & Cult Abuse & Isolation and You Can Too!

  • May 16, 2019 at 1:30 pm

    Hi Lenora,

    I can really relate to your remarks about cognitive dissonance and lying to yourself.
    One of the reasons that I think I have had such great difficulty letting go of my past is that I didn’t realize who I was really angry at.

    I finally became aware that I had actually never forgiven myself for all the trade-offs that I made, and for selling myself out and for refusing to accept reality!

    I allowed the situation to persist until it came within less than an inch of killing me. Literally ! Thats how close I came. What would you call that? Umm… I’d call it stubborn as a MULE! OK….so yes….there was also traumatic bonding and information that was deliberately hidden from my awareness. I had been manipulated and fed a lot of false narratives for decades of my early life. That part was not my fault. I’m just stating the part that I was complicit in.

    I was going to cling to my fictional version of reality come hell or high water. Well…..both of those things came…and much, much more ……there was NPD lightening, locusts, plagues , boils and torment of unimaginable proportions. THATS what it took to wake me the f up!

    Yeah…I’ve been a little pissed at myself for that. lol

    I think we are close to letting go of the past when we come to terms with that. Because lets face it…every variety of asshole and evil have been in existence since the beginning of time. Theres nothing particularly enraging about that.

    But we were the ones who bought the finest table linens and flowers , put on our best dresses and hosted a party for all the those filthy creatures. We lied to ourselves and told ourselves that they were our “loved ones” when we knew damn well they were not. We told ourselves that they were attractive when they were actually grotesque. Who are we really angry at? Who betrayed us the most?

    I’m still working on my own forgiveness so I know how difficult it is.

    May God continue to lead us 🙂

    Reply
    • May 16, 2019 at 2:43 pm

      That was one of the best, most insightful comments. I’m gonna be thinking over what you said for a long time. Thank you!

      ~ Lenora

      Reply
      • May 16, 2019 at 6:19 pm

        Thats very gracious of you Lenora.

        I always feel very validated by reading the wonderful insights contained in all of your posts. Thank you.

        Reply
  • June 13, 2019 at 9:48 pm

    of the many things I just enjoyed reading … thanks for your interesting insight on OCD! I immediatly know what-I-just-read-there *shifted (to an even more positive, accepting) perspective of any “OCD” things I might do.

    AND =] I was appreciating as I read about how you were still just holding on to Hope, against perhaps impossible, to get2 have a husband to adore you, and a Happy, normal, Healthy, Loving life TOO. =] the normal things that are our Heart’s desires. That’s where I’m at (where I’ve been at for years but hey who’s counting) But yeah =] I appreciate reading you felt like this too, and then by a miracle it happened for you. ~hey I believe in miracles!

    Reply
 

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