3 thoughts on “Hope for the Weird Kid at School (Pt 2 of 2)

  • August 30, 2018 at 3:54 pm

    Hi Lenora,
    I believeI have two narc parents. I attended school in the 60s and 70s and had a very controlled upbringing. I was the quiet invisible child who struggled for approval by trying to make good grades. I was unpopular and socially awkward. I think that the thing that helped me through my school years was lowered expectations (I didn’t expect better treatment, cooler clothes, popularity, positive feedback, etc.) I was content enough with my place on the lower rungs of the social and family ladder because I didn’t feel I was entitled to more). I do have to admit that if I couldn’t be somewhat invisible, it may have taken its toll. To be singled out as an only child for abuse like you were, Lenora, may have broken me. My salvation was that my parents had five children in rapid succession so the toxicity in our family was diluted among me and my close’in-age siblings. Lots of chances to let someone else have the attention. I admire your strength and stability having to deal with all of it! I initiated no contact between me and my family of origin for three years now. I divorced a covert malignant narc after a long marriage and have no contact. I finally found peace and am teaching my inner child that she has value, gifts, and assets, just like everyone else. Thanks for being a strong beacon, Lenora.

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  • August 31, 2018 at 2:03 pm

    You GET IT, Lenora! You really, really do. When your parents are seriously weird, they *make* you into the “weird kid.” It takes a lot of adult living for the “kid” to understand that there wasn’t anything intrinsically “wrong” or “different” about them. The parents’ dysfunction and brainwashing made *everything* weird! And you’re absolutely right – living long enough to know the truth behind the “weird” makes you the toughest “kid” on the block.

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  • August 31, 2018 at 3:26 pm

    God, this really hit home. My narc parents would never buy me nice clothes. Rugby pants in sixth grade? I internalized the child abuse I lived through and withdrew from others.

    My father’s brutal rejection of me and incessant criticism destroyed me. I was the weird kid that read a lot, said awkward things, and had dumb clothes.

    My mother (narc as well) wanted to be the prettiest, so, no new clothes for me.
    Today, I am confident, pretty, have great clothes, and my narc father can go fuck himself.

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